The Perks of Being a Mercenary (Book 1)
by RudeAndGinger413
Summary: A Marvel/Sony fic where you don't have to worry about Spideygate happening again. Based loosely on comics and movies. Avengers, X-Men, random other movie, TV, and book characters making cameos. Featuring original character written in related one-shots style. Book 1 out of 7. Don't forget to bring the chimichangas
1. Not Another Superhero Story

**The Chronicles of Mercenaries**

Kitty and Deadpool were laying on the couch in his apartment surrounded by junk food wrappers, which were littering the coffee table and floor. Both were exhausted, having just completed a job in Harlem that didn't quite go as planned. Long story short, Deadpool was missing his left ear and had a very broken right ankle healing itself. Kitty had showered and changed into a pair of Deadpool's boxers and t-shirts so they could fix up her leg, which had a gash reaching from her hip to her knee. Deadpool had out his sewing kit so he could fix up the tear in her suit while Kitty sewed up her leg. They had the TV show 'Firefly' on in the background while Kitty shoved the curved needle through her skin.

"Man, that Inara is fucking sexy." Deadpool said, pointing to the TV with a needle.

Kitty glanced up from her work and nodded. "Yeah, she is. So is Mal." She smiled and tied off a suture. "Wouldn't mind being on a ship with him for weeks at a time."

"Exactly!" Deadpool exclaimed, waving his hand around. He watched her finish the last stitch and set down the supplies. He silently reached over and grabbed the box of gauze before tossing it to her. Deadpool went back to fixing her suit, carefully sewing the material back together.

"Thanks." Kitty elevated her leg and started wrapping it up, wincing slightly at the pain.

"Do you need drug-" He was cut off by the ringing of his cellphone, which he retrieved from the coffee table. "What? Yes, I'll accept the charges." Kitty raised her eyebrows as Deadpool's face lit up. "HEY!" There was a pause before he asked, "WHAT IN THE ASS?! OF COURSE I'LL BE THERE!...Uh huh...Yep...I WILL SEE YOU THE FUCK THERE!" He hung up the phone and looked up at Kitty, who was still confused. "Wanna go do something with me tomorrow?"

"Another job?" Kitty sighed and rubbed her forehead. "My leg hasn't even stopped bleeding."

"Nah," Deadpool shook his head, a smile still on his face. "Not a job."

"Beating?"

"Nah."

"Banana in the tailpipe?"

"Nope."

"Throwing water balloons off the Empire State building?" He shook his head and Kitty's eyebrows drew together. "The fuck we doin', Sarge?"

"It's a surprise." He gushed happily, going back to fixing her suit.

* * *

The next day, Kitty had 'borrowed' one of Tony's cars and driven Deadpool to a grocery store. She had music blasting from the speakers as she waited for him to come out, her hands tapping on the wheel to the beat of the song. After what seemed like forever, Deadpool came skipping out of the store with a bag in one hand and flowers in the other. He climbed into the car and set down the bag, which Kitty promptly opened up.

"Air fresheners?" Kitty asked, looking up at him over her black sunglasses.

"Let's go to prison!" Deadpool cheered, ripping open the box as Kitty drove off.

When they pulled up to the prison, Deadpool jumped out of the car, the box of air fresheners and bouquet of daffodils in his gloved hands. Most of the inmates were out in the yard, pressing their faces against the fence as they watched Kitty get out of the black Aston Martin. She was geared up, wearing her suit and weapons, as she leaned on the car door. Several of the inmates were whistling and shouting profanities at her, so she just popped a stick of gum in her mouth and raised her middle finger at them.

"Why the fuck are we here, Sarge?" Kitty asked, rolling her eyes at the inmate's reactions. "And what's up with the flowers?"

"No, no, no. Not flowers. Daffodils." He corrected.

Kitty just blew her gum into a large bubble, then popped it loudly. "Whatever." She saw a small man, holding a clear plastic bag, being buzzed out of the prison's gate.

"DOPINDER!" Deadpool yelled, running up to the man and hugging him.

"Mr. Pool!" The man smiled and hugged him back. "Look what I got." He pulled up his shirt sleeve and showed them a Deadpool logo tattooed into his skin. "They didn't believe me when I said I knew you." He turned and pointed to the inmates, who now appeared awestruck.

"Violent Vixen," Kitty nodded her head at the man and popped her gum. "Nice to meet 'cha."

"Dopinder." He offered his hand to Kitty, who just stared at him over her sunglasses.

As Dopinder climbed into the back of the car, Kitty leaned over to Deadpool and asked, "Are you sure we aren't killing him?"

"Dopinder is a friend," Deadpool told her sternly. "Who's in prison partially because of me and my teaching ability."

Kitty's eyebrows flew up. "Partially?"

"Just drive the fucking car."

Kitty shrugged as she walked over to the driver's seat and started the ignition. "Where to, boys?"

"Gita has been writing to me and accepting my phone calls, but she doesn't know I'm getting out today. I wanted to surprise her." Dopinder told them with a smile.

"Get him some new clothes?" Kitty suggested, looking at the man in the rearview window. Deadpool nodded, so she drove away from the prison, much to the inmate's disappointment.

"Thank you, Mr. Pool and Ms. Vixen, for picking me up."

"No problem." Kitty assured him, driving down the interstate at a dangerous speed. "I'm sure Tony has realized the car is gone by now, so we might as well stay out as long as possible-Oh, fuck." She swore upon seeing the familiar red and blue lights flashing behind her. She pulled off to the side of the road and turned to look at the two men. "Let me handle this, okay?"

The police officer walked up as Kitty rolled down window and glanced inside the car. Dopinder's eyes were wide and he sat absolutely petrified, while Kitty and Deadpool appeared more relaxed. "Miss," He looked at Kitty and asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"Not really." Kitty admitted softly, pulling off her sunglasses. She blew a large, bright pink bubble before popping it.

The cop looked at her dumbfounded. "I clocked you at going over a hundred miles per hour."

"Oh," A bright smile lit up Kitty's face, making the young cop blush. "That's better than what I was thinking." Deadpool snorted with laughter, so Kitty hit him on the arm, hard.

The man blinked and glanced over at Deadpool before settling back on Kitty. "License and registration, please."

Kitty fought hard to not roll her eyes and retrieved the papers before shoving him in the cop's hands. "Here, sir." She gushed.

The cop put his arm on the windowsill and smiled, holding her papers by his side. "So, Aston Martin, huh?"

"Yeah, I prefer classic, American muscle, but," She rubbed her hand on the car's steering wheel. "She's a nice ride for a Brit."

"I'll bet." The man ducked his head and looked at her license. "Kitty Vics?" He read, looking back up at her. "Really?" She pressed her lips together and nodded. "Kitty. That's a nice name." He smiled and handed the paperwork back to her. "Well, Kitty, I'm just going to give you a warning. Driving a fine car like this," He caressed the windowsill with his hand. "I'll bet it's hard to not speed, but try to keep it reasonable, huh? I'd hate for a sweet, pretty little girl to go to somewhere as terrible as jail for speeding."

Deadpool started laughing loud at the cop's description of Kitty, making the cop duck down to look at him.

"You got a permit for those weapons, sir?" The cop asked Deadpool, who quickly silenced.

"I didn't know you guys really wore badges like that." Kitty said brightly as she touched the officer's chest. "I think that is just so brave of you to go out and risk your life to keep us all safe."

The cop's face broke out into a toothy smile once more. "You just be careful out there, miss." He tipped his cap at her and glared at Deadpool before leaving.

Dopinder breathed out a sigh of relief as she pulled back onto the road at a more appropriate speed. "That was terrifying."

"You ASS!" Kitty laughed, nudging Deadpool with her elbow. "You insufferable ASS!"

"He called you sweet!" Deadpool started laughing again, holding his stomach with his hand.

"So, Dopinder," Kitty said over Deadpool's loud gauffing. "Who is this Gita?" The man dug into his bag and withdrew a picture of a woman, showing it to Kitty. "She's pretty." She told him with a smile.

"She was dating my cousin, but I took Mr. Pool's advice and kidnapped him."

"SARGE!" Kitty shouted before gigging. "Funny, but wrong." She turned up the music and started singing loudly. "Beverly Hills! That's where I want to be!"

Deadpool joined in as backup and sang, "Gimme, gimme. Gimme, gimme."

"Beverly Hills, rollin' like a celebrity!" Kitty rolled down all the windows and blasted the music so loud that other motorists were looking over. "LIVIN' IN BEVERLY HILLS!"

"I don't know this one." Dopinder call uneasily over the song.

"Doesn't matter!" Kitty assured him, looking at Dopinder in the mirror. "Just have some fun! Loosen up!"

The man smiled and started bobbing his head. He eventually got some of the chorus down.

* * *

Four hours later, Dopinder was in a yellow pimp suit, complete with a large hat and shoes. In his right hand was a bouquet of flowers and the other clutched a box of chocolates. He hesitantly knocked on a green door and looked over his shoulder at Deadpool and Kitty in the car. His head snapped back when Gita opened the door.

Kitty watched as they hugged and Dopinder flashed them a smile and a thumbs up before going inside.

"Awh," Kitty pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. "They grow up so fast."

"Switch it to 'hyperactive'!" Deadpool commanded as she started the engine.

Kitty smiled. "Switching to 'hyperactive'."

"Ludicrous speed...GO!" Deadpool yelled as they raced out of the subdivision.

They went back to Deadpool's apartment, since Tony hadn't bothered Kitty about the car yet. They went back to relaxing and hanging about, eating junk food and watching T.V...Until around three-thirty in the morning. Kitty shot up from the side of the couch she was on, her eyes blinking slowly.

"Sarge," She bumped his leg with her own. "Wake the fuck up."

"Vicky, you better be-"

 _Rata-tat-tat_

Deadpool sat up, his face confused. "The fuck?"

 _Twang, bu-bum-TISS_

 _Neow, neow...neowneowneowneow_

Kitty got off the couch and stretched before grabbing her gun and tucking it into the back of (Deadpool's) boxers she was wearing. She then readjusted her old Army PT shirt so it covered the gun. "Sounds like it's comin' from your neighbor."

"I don't have a neighbor." Deadpool got his own weapon and opened the door for Kitty, who cautiously approached the door.

She knocked on the door, loud enough that the person could hear it over all the fucking noise they were making. The door opened and Kitty had to look up to see him. The guy was tall and shirtless, which Kitty unabashedly took note of. His dark hair was shoulder length and wavy and he was wearing a pair of what Kitty and Deadpool called 'ranger panties'. He had a pair of drumsticks in one hand while the other readjusted his hair.

Both Kitty and Deadpool stared at the man before quickly saying, "DIBS!"

"No fair-"

"I called it-"

"You called the last one-"

"Tough shit, Vics-"

Kitty turned to the man and asked, "Are you gay or straight?"

The man was looking down at her with a confused face. "Uhh...Straight?"

"HA!" She gloated.

"Oh, that's not fucking fair."

"Wait," The man got both of their attention with his husky voice. "What are we calling dibs on?"

"Before I answer that, why the fuck are you-" Kitty was interrupted.

"Heyyy, Blu, what's going on?" Called a voice from inside the apartment.

The man glanced over his shoulder as he said, "Some blonde and a dude is out here-"

"Complaining about the noise at three-thirty in the fucking mornin'." Kitty finished. Quickly, three other men joined the man she assumed was 'Blu', all in ripped jeans and flannel shirts. "Oh, god, Sarge," She glanced over at Deadpool. "There's four of them."

"Don't lose focus, Vics." Deadpool warned in an unsteady tone as he stared at the pretty men. "Stay strong. They woke us up after a tough...Day."

"Yeah, right." Kitty nodded and faced the four tall men. "I don't know what the fuck you Nirvana-looking, drinking my Seattle Starbucks before it was cool, garage band runaways are doing, but you guys need to do it between the hours of 10AM to 10PM and not before, not after." She said sternly. The men watched her with amused smiles as she ranted. "Because SOME of us have jobs-"

"We were told that the dude across the hall was only home every couple of days." One of the men, a guy with spiky blond hair, said quickly. "So we thought it'd be okay to have practice."

"Well, we're home, and now, we're awake." She sassed. "And neither of us appreciate that shit."

"You two," Blu tried to appear cool as he leaned against the door frame. "You, uh, live together?"

"No," Kitty shook her head. "He's gay."

"Not exactly-"

"Close enough, Sarge." She hissed as she eyed Blu with interest.

"So, your name is 'Sarge'?" The guy with a guitar swung over his shoulder asked. He laughed and elbowed his friend. "That's worse than Blu."

"No, only she calls me that." Deadpool said in a tone that challenged them to use that name. "I'm Deadpool, giving you your friendly neighborhood 'shut the fuck' warning."

"And you?" Blu asked Kitty.

"Kitty Vics." She said with a devilish grin.

"Kitty and Deadpool?" One of them asked with uncertainty. "Those are nicknames, right?"

"Nope, now shut the fuck up." Kitty and Deadpool turned around to go to his apartment.

"Hey, Kitty," Blu said loudly. She looked over his shoulder to see him pointing at her legs. "Nice Spiderman boxers."

"Yeah," One of his friends agreed. "And nice gun."

"Thanks," Kitty called as she opened Deadpool's door. "Came with the shirt."

 **Two Days Later**

Deadpool burst into Stark Tower, a large cardboard box balanced in his arms. "I present," He dropped the box ceremoniously onto the table. "A working ATARI gaming system, everybody!"

Everyone crowded around the box, in awe of the practically antique device.

"Hey, I remember those!" Natasha Romanoff exclaimed as she pulled out a bundle of wires from the box. Tony Stark removed the gaming device, smiling widely as he examined it. Steve Rogers and Kitty Vics were the only confused ones in the room as the others began setting up the system, looking as happy as children on Christmas.

"I have Alien Vs. Predator and Pitfall II, who wants to play?!" Deadpool held up two games and Bruce Banner snatched the first one out of his gloved hands.

"Fuck, I'm surrounded by old people." Kitty laughed as Deadpool put in the game and booted up the ATARI.

Tony turned around and gave Kitty an odd look. "You're six months older than Natasha." He stated.

Kitty Vics scoffed, "No, I'm-" Her face dropped as she realized the problem and whispered, "Oh, fuck."

Steve decided to ignore the profanity. "What?"

"Well…Uh, it's actually a really funny story," Kitty smiled nervously. "Not funny, ha-ha, but funny-"

"Kitty." Tony warned.

"Well, when you said you had my birth certificate, I figured… I think you guys have...uh…" Kitty glanced down at the floor and whispered, "A...Fake birth certificate." She looked up and was startled to see everyone in the room staring at her. "My fake birth certificate."

Bruce was the first one to break the silence. "Why would you have a fake birth certificate?"

Kitty laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck. "That's a boring story. You guys don't want to hear it when you have an ANARI to play with." She waved her hand at the pile of metal and plastic on the floor.

"ATARI." Deadpool corrected quietly as everyone continued staring at Kitty in varying degrees of confusion and anger.

"Why don't you tell us, anyway." Tony commanded as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"You guys want the long story or the shorter one?" Kitty asked, hopeful to get this over with. A short lie she could come up with on the spot; If they asked for the long one, she might actually have to tell the truth.

"How about the full story, Vics." Deadpool interjected. Kitty glared at him as hard as she could. He knew her too well to let her lie her way out of it.

Finally, she closed her eyes and took a very deep breath. "My parents kicked me out of the house when I was thirteen." Kitty confessed. "And I didn't know what else to do." Everyone in the room was stunned. This was not what they were expecting, especially since, in all the time she's been an Avenger, she had never once mentioned anything this personal.

Steve looked the most aghast. "Why?" He couldn't even imagine being kicked out of the house at that age.

"I was thirteen when my brother died." Kitty explained. "My parents were out at dinner and we were home alone. Our house was broken into. I don't think they knew anyone was home…" She trailed off, her eyes locked on the ground as she cleared her throat. "Anyways, they...uh...They beat my brother and I pretty badly. I was rushed to the hospital, but he was pronounced dead at the scene." She took a big breath. It felt as if a golf ball sized lump had settled in her throat, making it hard to speak.

"My parents never really liked me, definitely not like, well, they loved Ethan. I think they always wanted boys and they saw me as just another disappointment. And…" She snorted in disgust. "Well, let's just say that it wasn't the first time I had been in the hospital for broken bones and in need of some stitches." Kitty began to pick at her fingernails. "This time, I was in ICU for two weeks. My parents only came once, and that was to the sign the insurance paperwork. While I was there, I made friends with my nurse. Her name was Cynthia and she was wonderful," Kitty smiled softly at the memory of the dark-haired woman. "She's what I imagine a mother is supposed to be. When I was discharged, my parents didn't show up to get me so she drove me home. She even gave me her phone number. Said to call her if I had any problems at home. I think she suspected the abuse going on," Kitty bit her lip and saw that Tony was gripping his coffee mug tight enough to whiten his knuckles.

"When I walked in the door, my parents handed me a backpack. Told me to pack anythin' I didn't want burned and if I wasn't out of the house in an hour, they'd call the police. So I left." Kitty shrugged. "I didn't call Cynthia. I didn't want to bother her and if half the things my parents screamed at me were true, I didn't deserve her. Sometimes I think about how different things would have been if I had called." Kitty sighed. "I hid out in the library and the park long enough for some of the obvious bruises on my face to heal, one of the churches would give me granola bars-"

"You were homeless." Bruce rightfully concluded.

"Well, I wasn't really allowed to have friends," Kitty shrugged. "So I didn't really have anywhere to go. Made a fake birth certificate and ID that said I was eighteen. I was at the Army recruiting office within a month." Kitty darted her eyes around nervously, gauging her audience. Now came the seriously illegal, Leavenworth part of her backstory.

Steve nodded mutely, prompting her to continue her depressing story.

"I was in basic for less than a week. It was sheer-hate driving me forward and they recognized it. They moved me to specialized training, the How-To-Be-A-Mercenary type training. By age fifteen, I was put in the Untitled Black Unit, where I met Deadpool." She nodded to the black and red figure, who was now sitting down.

"...You were...Wait…" Deadpool started counting on his fingers. "That means you were fifteen when I tried to kill you." Deadpool mused. His eyes widened and he started breathing harder under his mask.

"You succeeded, too. John had to resuscitate me." Kitty said jokingly. The humor fell short when she saw everyone's faces. "Sarge, you didn't know…" She tried.

"I tried to kill a fifteen year old girl..."

"Continue," Bruce requested as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Please."

Kitty looked at the group sadly. "I got out of Special Forces after six years, when I turned twenty-one. I hunted down the people who murdered my brother. Found out one of them was in prison for the rape and murder of four teenagers. He was the most satisfying to rip apart." Deadpool quietly cleared his throat and Kitty snapped out of her daze. "Then, you guys recruited me when I was twenty two…"

"Wait," Bruce interrupted, shaking his head slightly. "You're only twenty three?"

"She's a child," groaned Natasha. Clint nodded his head in agreement.

"I'm not a child!" Kitty argued. She turned to Tony. "You guys said you knew all about me, you knew where I was born and everythin'. How was I supposed to know you had the fake!?"

"Well, maybe if you'd told us there was a fake, we wouldn't be having this issue!" Tony roared. Steve put his arm on Tony's arm to try to calm him down.

"I made the birth certificate to fool the Army, not smart people!" Kitty pointed out.


	2. Atomic Blonde

**Atomic** **Blonde**

"We have reports that early this morning, five prisoners escaped from Bedford Correctional Facility and are deemed extremely dangerous,"

Kitty Vics groaned at the T.V. as she pulled on her left boot and tied it. Today was supposed to be my day off. She slid extra ammo down in her boot for later. Today was supposed to be easy. Now, here I am, gearing up for a shit mission for shit pay. Kitty grabbed her leg holster off the dresser and clipped it on her thigh before getting her beretta. Checking to make sure it was loaded, she shoved it in her right leg holster. Next was the blade. Her blue eyes slid shut, feeling the comforting weight of her favorite weapon in her hands. "Valhalla" was only slightly larger than a knife, but for Kitty Vic's small frame, it was the perfect sword. Taking a deep breath, she hooked the sheath to her left thigh and yanked on it to make sure it was secure.

"We are advising people to stay indoors and if you see any of these people, do not engage!"

Rolling her eyes, she turned off the T.V and glimpsed in the large mirror above her clothes bureau to check her reflection. Her long, golden hair was braided back, with side bangs framing her extremely pale face. She was wearing her uniform-a black skintight bodysuit with a black steel boned kevlar corset as body armor. Kitty could remember when she joined the Avengers and had to tell them why she wore something that looked so uncomfortable. She had them try (unsuccessfully) to slice the ballistic fabric and explained that the steel boning keeps her ribs from being shattered every time she was kicked. At this point, the tightness of the corset was a reassuring constant in her hectic life.

Kitty left her room in the Stark Tower and took the elevator back to the third floor, a level the Avengers used as a living room and kitchen. Sitting at the table was Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, known to the public as Iron Man and Captain America. In the background, a reporter could be heard repeating the same story from earlier as well as the gurgling of a coffee machine. The mercenary strolled past the table, pausing to kiss both men on the cheek.

"Mornin' mom, dad," Kitty called from the kitchen as she opened a cabinet. She filled her favorite mug (one with a Deadpool logo; a Christmas present) with coffee before sitting down in the chair next to Tony. "We dealin' with that?" She nodded towards the T.V. in the corner of the other room.

"Good morning, and yes, we are," Tony replied with a pointed look to his partner. Steve sighed and Kitty raised an eyebrow. Obviously, she had walked in on an argument.

"There a problem here?" She asked slowly, her eyes flicking between both men.

"IRON DICK! CAPTAIN OLDMAN!" Tony sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Steve just looked like someone was pulling out his toenails, a look Kitty Vics had seen several times in her career. She, of course, had always been the one with the pliers. "AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE, THE BEAUTIFUL VIOLENT VIXEN!"

"Hey, Sarge." She greeted the "Merc with a mouth" as he swaggered in. Deadpool was also geared up for a fight, his mask covering his scarred face.

"Sup, Vixen?" He pulled a chair up and sat on it, resting his arms on the back. Deadpool was the one to give Kitty Vics the nickname "The Violent Vixen" when they were in Special Forces together, and she now used it as her mercenary-oh, uh, Avengers name.

Steve gave Tony a 'Look' that clearly asked why Deadpool was here.

"He can't really die," Tony started weakly. "And he's the only one who was available on such short notice."

"I'll watch him," Kitty eagerly suggested, looking at Deadpool in the corner of her eye.

"Oh, no." Steve objected, shaking his head.

"No way in hell are you two going anywhere without a chaperone. We want these men captured," Tony stressed. "As in Not killed."

"Well, that's just unreasonable." She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, her bottom lip pouting.

"Look, let's just go and get this over with. I'll see if anyone can go with you two. We've got five prisoners to catch before they ruin this city." Steve said as he and Tony stood up from the table.

"Make sure you two are ready to go in five minutes." Both left the room to get their suits on, leaving Deadpool and Kitty alone.

She swung her chair around to mirror Deadpool's, putting her arms on the back and resting her chin on them. "How ya doin', Sarge?"

Deadpool's mouth spread into a grin under his mask. "You know, we're not in the service anymore. You don't have to call me Sarge." He reminded her. Secretly, he loved that Kitty had a nickname that only she used, but he didn't want her to think she had to call him that.

She smiled widely then winked. "Old habits die hard. Besides," She leaned close to him and whispered. "You know you like it. So, take any jobs lately?"

He looked around to make sure no Avengers were listening in before answering. "Easy one in Newark. You?"

"Double in Syracuse. Only took it because they were two child molestors and I needed out of the Tower." She said, looking down as she rubbed her right wrist gingerly, vividly remembering the snap of her bones when one of the men stepped on it. Bruce Banner, the team's resident doctor, had reset it over a week ago and it still hurt every now and again. It frustrated him to no end that Kitty had refused to wear the full cast, and instead had on a soft brace for only two days.

Bruce, who doubled as the Hulk when absolutely necessary, was always setting and patching up Kitty's wounds. He covered for her every time, lying to Tony and Steve about the injuries, and she was grateful. Kitty always wondered, deep down, if he would ever want some form of repayment for the times he's quietly saved her. Little did she know that all he wanted was to be near her, even if it meant stitching her up after she murders someone for money.

"Trouble in paradise?" Deadpool asked with sarcasm. He took it personally that no one ever invited him to stay at Stark Tower like the rest of the Avengers. Tony explained that Deadpool was only a "As-needed Avenger" and would be on call, but could not live there. He mentioned something about his insurance not covering unnatural disasters.

She nodded. "With Barton and Tasha on assignment overseas, Tony and Steve are up my ass being all parental. They tried to give me a curfew! I'm an adult and they want to give me a curfew!" Kitty squeaked, still irritated. "Hopefully when they get back later today, it'll give the elders someone else to worry about."

Bruce Banner shuffled through the living room then, looking half dead. Kitty understood the feeling. He leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping his coffee as he tried to wake up.

"HEY-" Deadpool started before Kitty shushed him.

"Not yet." She whispered, tilting her head in the shaggy haired man's direction. "Just wait."

Kitty always found it entertaining to watch Bruce in the morning because it was always the same: Walk in. Get coffee. Drink the first cup groggily with barely opened eyes. She noticed that he always wore long sleeves and in the mornings they were pulled over his hands so they didn't burn while holding his drink. Kitty thought he looked cute like that. Then, he would finish off the first cup and refill his mug. And only then was he awake enough to speak to.

Deadpool looked to Kitty for permission and she nodded her head. "HEY THERE GREEN THANG."

Bruce just rolled his eyes (a common action for anyone in proximity with Deadpool) and sank down in Tony's chair next to Kitty.

"Mornin' Bruce." Kitty beamed as she reached a hand over and ruffled his hair.

He smiled sleepily and drank more coffee. "Going on a mission?" He yawned.

"Five escaped prisoners burning down the village," She reported casually. "The usual."

People can say a lot about Deadpool, but they can't say he wasn't attentive. He noticed more than the average person, especially about how his family acted around each other. And although they might not classify themselves as such, Deadpool thought of the Avengers as his family. Steve and Tony seemed to be the "Mom and Dad" of the group, and they didn't correct anyone when they were called such.

One of the things Deadpool observed with amusement was Kitty Vics and Bruce Banner's interactions with each other. Like the way Kitty always messed up his already disheveled hair, and how Bruce would lean into her hand slightly. Or how Kitty would look at him when Bruce was too busy bandaging up whatever she injured to notice. To Deadpool, it was obvious the man was in love with Kitty. Although he wasn't positive, he thought maybe Kitty had feelings for the doctor. And Deadpool had made it his personal mission to try to get the two to realize their feelings. He was nothing if not a romantic.

"Tell them to get a room already!" The yellow box trapped inside Deadpool's mind screamed.

"No, that would be rude. We don't want to lose Kitty as a friend. And Bruce is always decent to us." The white box replied.

"That's just because he wants to fuck her." Yellow pointed out.

"Who wouldn't?" White smirked. "She's so fucking hot."

"Yeah, remember that time we saw her when she was changing her shirt in Baghdad?"

"She does have a sexy back."

"Or how about when we were getting our tattoos?"

"And when we had to share the bed…"

"Guys, come on. Don't talk like that, we were both exhausted and it was the only thing they had." Deadpool interjected.

"Sarge, you okay over there?" Kitty asked gently, quieting down the boxes. She and Bruce had stopped talking and were now looking at him in concern.

"Yeah," Deadpool nodded, realizing that he said that last part out loud. He quickly decided to change the topic. "You pumped to go kill some fucking bad guys?"

"There will be no killing of bad guys, children." Tony pointed out as he and Steve strolled into the room, ready to leave.

"But daaaaaad," Kitty whined playfully as Deadpool pouted behind his mask.

"No 'buts', listen to your father," Steve chimed in, marching past the table. "And you two better be ready to go."

"Should I prepare the medical quarters?" Bruce asked Tony and Steve, the unspoken leaders of the group.

Tony looked at Deadpool and Kitty, both of whom smiled sweetly. "Are you two going to behave?"

Deadpool shook his head.

"Not in the slightest." Kitty answered, getting up and adjusting her leg holster. Tony just sighed and shook his head.

Bruce got up as well, watching Kitty fix her armor with interest. "I'll have everything set up in case. Be careful, please." He added.

"Always." Kitty promised with a smile, just as she did every time she left for patrol. Just like his predictable morning coffee routine, Bruce would always ask that she be careful. After so many years of not having a family, Kitty liked that she had people now who would miss her if she was gone.

"Goodbye, my love!" Deadpool joked, blowing a kiss to Bruce, who just shook his head.

"Come on, Sergeant Bilko," Kitty nodded to the hallway and put on her black sunglasses. "Let's get to work."

Steve, Tony, Kitty, and Deadpool left Stark Tower to find the escaped convicts.

Kitty cleared her throat and said, "Alright, listen up, ladies and gentlemen, our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area...Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him!"

Deadpool and Tony couldn't help but laugh at her movie reference.

"Okay..." Steve turned to Kitty with a defeated look. "Why don't you and Deadpool take over the North and West side. Tony and I will take East and South."

"Are you sure you want them together?" Tony asked, shocked.

"We're running out of time and they'll cover more ground." Captain America explained begrudgingly as Kitty carefully put in her earpiece and checked it with JARVIS.

"We'll be good," She reassured them. Deadpool started to snicker, so she hit him on the shoulder, hard. "We've got a system."

Iron Man nodded in approval. He appreciated their military background, even if it was doing questionable things. It made them both alert and thorough. "Keep your com open." He reminded her as he and Captain America started going South through the city.

"Come on, Sarge." Kitty called as she walked North, with Deadpool following closely behind.

"So, do you ever wonder if we'll end up on a show like Forensic Files?" Deadpool asked as they started their search for the escaped convicts.

"Do you mean as the victims or the perpetrators? Because I try very hard to keep my prints out of the petri dishes." Kitty held up her hand and wiggled her fingers.

"I mean, in general. What could they even do with my DNA?" Deadpool wondered. "Wouldn't it just grow back into something?"

"I don't know," Kitty admitted. "Wanna rob a bank and find out?"

They caught people's attention walking down a New York street dressed like that. The real New Yorkers just went along with their day, but the unsuspecting visitors gawked...Especially at the Violent Vixen, clad in black spandex and leather.

"Hey, pretty mama. You look like you want a fun time." A man they passed called out to her.

"Hey, asshat," Kitty Vics mocked. "You look like the complete opposite of a fun time. Ever heard of shampoo?"

"I'll show you how a real man does it." The man started following them and Deadpool moved to grab one of his guns.

"I got this," She avowed. Kitty pulled out her gun as she turned around, pressing the barrel to the vulgar catcaller's chest. "What were you sayin'?"

"I...uh…" The man held his hands up and stammered, looking at Deadpool for help. The Violent Vixen moved her gun downwards.

"Maybe you should apologize to the lady." Deadpool suggested.

"I'm very sorry, Miss." A trickle of sweat slid down his forehead. An older man in a expensive business suit walked by, doing a double take at the situation. He met the catcaller's eyes and shook his head before continuing on his way. She still had the gun pointed at his crotch.

"Come on, Vicky," Deadpool tried, putting his hand on her shoulder. "He apologized and we've got a job to do." She reluctantly holstered her gun and started to walk away. The man sighed in relief and ran off in the opposite direction without looking back.

A few tense moments passed before Deadpool broke the silence. "You okay?" He asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She answered without looking at him. Kitty picked up her pace slightly.

"I've seen you pull a gun out on someone for a lot of things," He commented, ignoring the boxes suggestions what could be troubling her. "But never for just being a creep."

"I've pulled a gun on you before," She joked, then noticed that Deadpool's expression. "I'm fine, okay? Just drop it. Like you said, we've got a job to do."

Deadpool was about to reply back when he felt the Kitty throw her arm out to stop him. She was so small, however, that it only came to his waist. She pressed a finger to her mouth before holding up five fingers, then made a fist and nodded to an alleyway on their left.

"Be quiet, at least five baddies on the left in the dark, creepy alleyway. Got it." The yellow box translated.

The Violent Vixen quickly peered around the corner into the alley. There they were, just as she'd thought.

She pressed a small button on the side of her arm cuff that activated her ear piece. "We've got all five of them in an alley off Bowery." She whispered into her com. "Ralpho, Ivkington, Smith, Costers, and Andrews."

"Do you need help?" Iron Man's voice rang through her earpiece.

"Nah, dad. We got it."

She nodded to Deadpool, who pulled out two of his guns. She looked at him and sharply shook her head. "No guns." Kitty mouthed silently. He reluctantly put away his weapons and pressed himself up against the wall next to her. "Ready?" He nodded. "Well, what do we got here?" Kitty asked loudly as she stepped into the alley. All five of the prisoner's heads whipped around to stare at her.

"Looks like a cock gobbler convention," Deadpool answered. A convict moved and Deadpool saw that they had been mugging a teenager. One of the scumbags grabbed a weapon and aimed it at the duo. The poor, beaten up teen took this opportunity to run in the opposite direction.

Both anti-heros sprang into action. Kitty ran towards Ralpho, who was holding a large knife dripping with the teenager's blood. Ralpho swung the blade, but it only cut through air as Kitty ducked down to miss it. She punched him in the stomach, hard, then elbowed in him the face. When he recoiled back, she kicked him square in the chest. Recovering quickly, Ralpho used his free hand to throw a punch aimed at her face while he swung the knife at her body. She grabbed his arm and twisted it back behind him before she shoved his face into the wall. Ralpho got one arm free and slashed at her with the knife. Kitty felt it slice her arm, taking her aback. He elbowed her in the face and peeled himself off the wall as he squared up to her.

Kitty's black sunglasses broke with the hit to her face and she squinted from the sun. "Motherfucker, you broke my fucking sunglasses!" She kicked him in the groin, hard. "I liked those fucking glasses."

Thinking fast, she ran and kicked off of the brick wall with her left foot, using the momentum to kick his jaw. Ralpho hit the ground as she landed on her feet. Kitty quickly handcuffing him to a pipe.

One down, four to go.

She looked up and saw Costers stalking closer to her. He was at least 6"5' and built like a linebacker. And (if she remembered correctly) he was a rapist. Kitty felt hot anger surge in her as she fought the urge to grab her blade tucked in its sheath. Fucking heros and their 'no weapons unless absolutely necessary' bullshit, she thought. Fuck.

Costers charged towards Kitty. She darted to the side, causing him to ram his fist into the wall. His hand bone shattered with a loud, sickening crack. This, however, only seemed to enrage him more, and he moved to attack her again. He slammed the right side of his body into her, trapping her against the wall. Kitty drew in a very painful breath; She was pretty sure that this asshole just cracked a rib or two. It felt like she was breathing in razorblades and her vision blurred slightly around the edges.

A piece of metal caught Kitty's eyes and she swooped down, avoiding another hit from Costers, to grab the crowbar. The next time he tried to hit her, she raised the crowbar, watching in satisfaction as his face warped with pain when his meaty fist smashed into it. She held it in both hands like a sword and bashed it against Coster's thigh three times. He doubled over slightly and she reached for a pair of handcuffs. Costers used this opportunity to punch the right side of her face before he picked her up and threw her further down the alley.

The Violent Vixen blacked out when her head hit the brick wall. She woke up to Costers' black boot kicking her in the chest and ribs. She used her arms to cover her head as he reached down and grabbed her by her hair.

Meanwhile, Deadpool was dealing with the other three convicts.

"That's going to leave a mark!" Yellow complimented as Deadpool hit Smith's head twice on an exposed metal pipe.

"Hey, remember, no killing!" White nagged.

"Why not?!"

"If you fuck this up, the Avengers won't invite us out anymore." The white box pointed out. "And they definitely won't let us play with Vicky."

"Oh, yeah. You're right"

Deadpool had just finished handcuffing Smith to the pipe when he felt himself being stabbed. He looked down and saw that Andrews had slid a long shard of glass into his chest.

"You son of a motherfucker," Deadpool cursed. Andrew's eyes widened, realizing that stabbing him did not have the intending effect. "You shit eating fucker dick tip licking asshat!"

Deadpool pulled out the glass, wincing slightly as he felt the nerves reattaching and the skin growing back, then used it to stab Andrews in the shoulder. Deadpool happily handcuffed him to the same pipe as Smith, knocking him out for good measure.

Further down the alley, Kitty was trying to get out of the choke hold that Costers had her in.

"Do you know what I like to do to pretty little things like you?" He whispered into her ear. He had grabbed Ralpho's knife and moved his arm across her collarbone so he could press the blade against her neck. Kitty felt it biting into her skin as she edged them around slightly so she was facing the wall. She then launched herself towards the bricks, using them to flip herself over his head. The Vixen could feel her warm blood now dripping actively from her neck and onto his back. She tightened her thighs that were now around his thick throat and smiled as he gasped for air. She shifted her thighs swiftly and Costers slumped to the ground, dead.

Kitty staggered a bit, gasping for breath as she fought to stay upright. "Do you know what I like to do," She gasped with exhaustion. "To assholes like you?" As a final "fuck you", she spit out blood next to his unmoving body.

Kitty Vics shuffled over to where Deadpool was, keeping pressure on her neck with her hand. She didn't believe it was fatal, but she also didn't want to clean blood out of her uniform again. Ivnkington, upon seeing his comrade's failings, surrendered...Much to the disappointment of Deadpool.

"That's it?" He complained. "You're just going to give up?" Ivnkington, who couldn't have been older than twenty-five, nodded sharply. He was in prison for credit card fraud and was regretting his unsuccessful escape. Deadpool handcuffed him to the pole, still shaking his head at the man's lack of fight. He then turned and saw her neck wound.

"HOLY SHIT, VIXEN, ARE YOU OKAY?" Deadpool screamed as he ran the short distance between them. She was breathing heavy, leaning on the brick wall for support. She was losing more blood than she'd originally thought. Deadpool tore a long piece of cloth off the dead man's shirt and tied it around Kitty's neck. Her eyes burned from the sun and she felt a pain in her head starting.

Kitty weakly pressed her finger on her arm cuff and said, "All five prisoners are taken care of. One's dead but the others are alive, waiting to be picked up."

"Cops are on their way to get them." Tony said through the com channel, his voice dripping with annoyance. "Which one's dead?" He didn't know why he let Steve send the two mercenaries off together.

"Costers." Kitty coughed as she wrapped one arm around Deadpool's shoulders so he could help support her. She interrupted Tony's rant. "We're headin' back to the Tower." She ripped out the earpiece and clipped it to her shirt collar. She was not in the mood to have another person in her head.

"How you doing, Louisiana?" Deadpool asked worriedly as they started limping back. She was paler than usual and it was scaring him more than he'd like to admit.

"Just talk about somethin'," Kitty murmured. "Anythin'."

Deadpool said one of the first things that come into his head. "How do you feel about Banner?"

"I could really use him now." She was shaking really badly now and Deadpool was carrying most of her weight. "And his magnificent, medically trained body. Or anybody at this point."

Deadpool nodded. "Well, you've got me. I know it's not much…" A woman briskly walked past them, pushing a stroller with a baby in it. She turned to look at them and smiled.

"Hey, that's some really cool makeup!" She gushed. "You should work for the movies."

Kitty stared at the women until she became uncomfortable and left. "I'd rather have you than that," Kitty pointed out. "Besides, it could be worse."

Deadpool gazed at her in shock. "How could this be worse?!"

"I could've been patrollin' with Thor the Mighty Asshat." She smirked. "He probably would have left me." Her vision blurred again and her words started slurring. "Thanks for not leavin' me, Sarge."

They were only half a block away from the Stark Tower when the Violent Vixen fell, too woozy from blood loss to walk. Deadpool easily scooped her up in his arms and started running, feeling the panic set in. He grabbed the earpiece from her shirt and put it in his ear. "JARVIS, CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Deadpool screamed.

"Yes, Mr. Deadpool, I can hear you just fine." The cool voice answered.

"TELL BANNER THAT KITTY'S HURT REALLY BAD. WE SHOULD BE THERE IN A COUPLE MINUTES!"

"I will notify him."

Deadpool rolled his eyes at the computer system's calmness as he pushed himself to run faster. He glimpsed down at his friend and wished he hadn't. She looked tiny and frail in his arms, shivering slightly as her throat continued to leak blood. He sprinted into the Tower and up to the med bay where Bruce Banner was waiting anxiously.

He immediately snapped into doctor mode, helping Deadpool remove her corset, boots, and holsters before placing her gently on the gurney.

"Get me one of those gowns," The doctor pointed to the corner. "We're going to have to take off her suit." Bruce couldn't help but think that this wasn't how he wanted to see her. He carefully unzipped the front of her suit to her bellybutton and pried the material off her arms. "How long has she been unconscious?" He ran his sterile gloved fingers over her reddish-purple side, and came to the conclusion that there were probably several broken and displaced ribs. He idly noticed that she had a tattoo on the side of her ribs.

Deadpool laid the gown over her, trying to give his best friend some modesty. He tied the neck pieces together as the doctor worked the suit down her legs. "She hasn't been out longer than five minutes." Now that she was covered by the gown, Bruce unhooked her bra and set it aside.

Banner quickly slapped an O2 mask on her before grabbing a suture kit from a table. He snapped on a pair of gloves and opened a new needle.

"Woah, what is that?" Deadpool asked.

"Here, put on these gloves," Banner ordered. "I'm going to sew up her neck, and then we'll have do a transfusion. Luckily," He examined Kitty Vic's neck carefully, grimacing at the depth of the wound and the clamminess of her skin. "Tony keeps this place pretty well stocked." He started wiping as much blood off her as possible, refusing to let himself look at her bruised face; Refusing to let himself lose control.

"You can't just give her the blood now?" Deadpool flinched slightly when he saw the doctor start to sew up her neck.

"She's going to diiieee!" The yellow box sang.

"No, she won't. She's tough. She'll be fine."

"Her blood looks like pretty red paint on her pretty pale body…"

"DEADPOOL," Bruce Banner hardly raised his voice (a side effect of the fear of turning into a green monster and hurting people) but the mercenary just stood there, staring off into space. "I NEED YOUR HELP."

Deadpool shook his head, trying to make the boxes leave, when he heard the doctor shouting at him. Deadpool snapped back and took the gauze pads that Banner was shoving at him.

"And to answer your earlier question, I can't give her blood," Banner explained distractedly as he tied off another suture. "Until the wound is closed or else she would just bleed it all out." Deadpool watched as he expertly put in more sutures. "I need you to cover the wound with some gauze pads and tape them down with that paper tape while I prep for the transfusion. She's getting shocky..."

Deadpool concentrated as hard as he could to bandage her neck up while Banner whirled around the room like a tornado. Within seconds, an IV line was in her arm and he had hooking it up to a bag of clear liquid. Banner had multiple syringes he pushed in her line, checking her pulse with each one. He then put a stethoscope on her chest and pressed on her ribs, listening to her ragged breathing. Deadpool was changing his gloves when he heard angry voices getting louder as they came up the hall.

"Kitty Stark, what the hell do you think you're doing?! I told you to keep your com open and don't kill anyone and what do you do-" Tony Stark's yelling was cut off when he saw Kitty on the bed and the blood everywhere. He eased into the room and it felt like his heart had stopped. Steve Rogers stopped in the doorway and the annoyance on his face was replaced with fear.

"Tony, I need you and Steve to wash your hands and glove up." Bruce ordered as he pulled down the neck of her gown a few inches and stuck EKG leads on her chest. Both men, upon seeing the seriousness of the situation, immediately did as they were told. "Steve, I need you to watch her vitals on this monitor-Tell me if these numbers change at all. Tony, I need you to grab me two units of O negative blood and then we'll probably need the portable x-ray machine for her ribs." Tony nodded mutely and ran off.

Tony came back with the blood and handed it off to Bruce, the only one here who actually knew what he was doing, before going back for the equipment. Tony rolled it in and Steve helped him take the x-rays.

Bruce sighed loudly, examining the pictures of her ribs. "Looks like she fractured her third rib, and broke her fourth. Good news," The three men looked up hopefully. "No punctured or collapsed lungs. We'll wrap her up, then do the transfusion."

Two times throughout the procedure, Steve informed them that something on the screen changed and Banner would swear loudly as he tried to fix it. After what seemed like forever, the transfusion was done.

"Is she going to be okay?" Tony asked fearfully as he and Steve stripped off their gloves.

Banner checked all of her vital signs before saying, "Her pulse is a little high and her BP is currently 110 over 60. O2 is at 91%. Which, considering the amount of blood loss, is doing pretty well." He degloved and started washing his hands. "She'll be out cold from the medication for another couple hours."

After being assured that there was nothing left for them to do, Tony, Steve, and Deadpool left the macabre room in silence. Once they got to the kitchen, Tony exploded with anger.

"What happened?" He hissed at Deadpool, stepping closer with each word.

Deadpool pressed his back to the dining table, resembling a caged animal. "I was fighting off three of them. By the time I handcuffed them, I saw that she was hurt and one was dead."

"Why weren't you paying more attention?" Steve demanded, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well, maybe if I didn't have to waste time handcuffing them…" Deadpool retorted. He heard the buzzing of the two boxes in his mind, fighting to be heard.

"You two were partners, you were supposed to have her back." Tony slammed his fist down on the table.

"He's right, you know." The yellow box taunted.

"How many times did she save your ass when you two were in the service together?"

"Too many times to count. And how many times has he let her down?"

"Why does she even like you? You're an awful person who can't even keep his friends alive."

"She's going to die and it's all your fucking fault, Wade."

Deadpool slid to the floor and put both hands over his ears to try to block out the noises, both inside his head and out. He started rocking back and forth, closing his eyes tightly as Tony and Steve stared down at him in shock. They knew that he joked about hearing voices before, but they never thought he was serious about it. Banner walked in the room and saw their horrified faces at Deadpool's fit. He'd seen Kitty deal with this once before. He rushed over to Deadpool and cautiously tried to talk to him.

"Deadpool? Deadpool, can you hear me?" Banner didn't dare touch him, but needed to get the merc out of this state. He tried a new tactic. "Wham! is a terrible band."

One of Deadpool's eyes opened slightly and he stopped rocking.

"There you are. Come on," Banner said gently. "We're going back to the med bay." He helped Deadpool up and took him out of the room. Banner led him up a level to the med bay and sat him down in one of the chairs by her bed. "You should be here when she wakes up."

"Why?" Deadpool spat. "So she can tell me how much I let her down? About how I was supposed to protect her, and that this," He gestured wildly at her body. "Is all my fault?"

Bruce sighed, sinking into the other chair. "She would never say that."

They were both silent for what seemed like hours; The only noise was the monitors beeping to say that Kitty was stable and alive. Neither Tony nor Steve came in, for which Deadpool was thankful for. He didn't think he could face Kitty, let alone her two, overprotective "parents". Every minute that passed by, Deadpool thought of bolting. At one point, he started to rise from his chair, only to stop when he saw Bruce Banner's face.

"You love her." It wasn't a question, but a statement. Deadpool already knew the answer.

"Who doesn't?" Bruce asked with a glance at Kitty, whose face was calm in sleep. His eyes, filled with longing, stayed on her.

"They all love her as family, like a daughter." He pointed out as he leaned closer to Bruce. "You're in love with her."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Bruce said sadly. "It's not like we could ever be together."

Deadpool blinked rapidly, obviously taken aback. This was not in his 'get-Kitty-and-Banner-together' plan. "Why not?"

"Isn't it obvious? My "little problem"?" He snorted. "She'd never want me." Bruce paused before saying, "And even if she did, she'd never be safe."

"I've never known that girl to be safe." Deadpool chuckled. "I remember one time, we were in Bulgaria to take care of a team that was planning an attack on the U.S. It was me, her, and two other guys and we get ambushed. Turns out, there was triple what our intel said. So, we're standing there, out of ammo, with at least eleven guys closing in on us. And then, our very own Violent Vixen draws out a fucking sword from god knows where and charges them." He slowly shook his head. "Killed every single one of those bastards. She turns to us, holding this fucking sword with these guy's blood dripping down her body, and says, 'Anyone up for a drink?'"

Bruce laughed because of how clearly he could see her doing that.

"And this other time," Deadpool continued. "She showed up on a horse. A white fucking horse. I still don't know where she got a horse in the middle of St. Petersburg…"

The two exchanged stories about her for an hour and a half, both enjoying each others company.

Deadpool was in the middle of telling about the time Kitty had pranked two of their team members by putting itching powder in their underwear. "And the only ones who knew she did it was me, Josey, and Kingsley. So, we're all standing at attention for the inspection and Matthews and Beleflore can't stop squirming, trying to find a way to itch their dicks without getting in trouble. Josey and I are trying not to laugh and I look over, and Kitty is completely stone faced. Absolutely no emotion. Finally, they ask "What the hell is wrong with you two?" and Matthews starts-"

His story was interrupted. "Please, tell me you're not talking about the Itching Incident, again." Bruce's eyes followed the voice and saw that Kitty was awake.

"I happen to find it hilarious." Deadpool answered, not noticing that it was his friend in the hospital bed that spoke.

"That's because you didn't get caught." She complained. "Or ratted out."

"Well, it's not my fault that Josey couldn't keep his damn mouth shut-Hey, you're alive!" He yelled as he got up from his chair.

"Well, I am a main character. What kind of author kills off one of their main characters this early in the story?" She asked, groaning as she tried to sit up.

Bruce Banner immediately rose from his seat."You broke a rib and fractured another. You shouldn't be moving."

Kitty just stared at him like he was stupid.

"You were extremely lucky that it didn't pierce your lung," Bruce nagged as he helped her sit up. "You're going to have a lot of bruising, the worst of it being on your face and ribs."

Kitty's hand flew up to her cheek, her face full of worry.

"Don't worry, you're still the most beautiful and deadly mercenary I've ever met." Deadpool pat her leg gingerly to comfort her. He glared sharply at Banner, who looked abashed.

"No, I didn't mean-that you," He gestured to Kitty. "Look bad, I mean, you never look bad." Bruce stammered, red faced.

"Just shut up, man." Deadpool advised. The moment turned awkward as the three exchanged uncomfortable glances. "I'm going to go tell everyone you're up."

"Okay." Kitty smiled softly as Deadpool walked out of the med bay with one last pointed look at Banner.

"I'm really glad you're okay." Bruce said. "Wait, what are you doing?" He asked as he watched Kitty start to peel off her IV tape.

"I fucking hate hospitals." She said as she threw the tape down. Kitty then prepped to slide her IV out.

"Technically, this isn't an actual hospital." The doctor rolled his eyes before moving to the other side of the bed. "Don't do it like that. You'll hurt yourself." He carefully removed her IV and pressed a cotton ball to the crook of her arm. "Put pressure, I'll get some tape." He turned to grab the tape and when he looked back, she was removing the leads from her chest. "Now what are you doing?" Bruce whined as he taped over her arm's gauze pad.

"I want out." Kitty, who was still looking down at her chest, peeled off the last of the adhesive squares. "I need a shower and I'm starvin'." She heard her accent making an appearance and fought to keep it at bay. "Starving. Very hungry."

"Can I tell you all the reasons why that's a terrible idea?"

"No, but I feel like you're going to tell me anyways." Kitty had finally removed all the tethers to the machine and was trying to get up. It was difficult though, with a taped up side and the fact that she was incredibly sore all over. She gave a cry of pain as she fell onto the floor, landing hard on her side. She looked up at Bruce with large, sad blue eyes. "Little help here?"

"I swear," He sighed as he carefully helped her stand up and put his arm around her waist. "You do this just to be difficult."

"Gotta keep ya on your toes," Kitty smiled. She shifted slightly before giving another yelp of pain.

"Hey, you're okay!" Tony's voice rang as he and Steve walked into the room. His eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Kitty being held up by Bruce Banner.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Steve asked, very concerned with Kitty's health.

"God, not you too." Kitty plead as she tried to take a step forward, but stumbled slightly, causing all the males in the room to move as if to catch her. She made a scoffing noise and rolled her eyes. "Hey, mom and dad."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Tony demanded as Kitty took another step, aided by Bruce.

"I think," She started. "I'm gonna take a shower and then go eat." Kitty reached her free hand up to tuck a golden strand of hair behind her ear.

Steve turned to Bruce. "Is that wise?"

"Not at all, but are you going to stop her?" Bruce responded. Kitty glared at the two men until they moved out of the door way for them to pass.

"I'll see you two at dinner!" She called back to them.

It took Bruce and Kitty longer than usual to get back to her floor, but after some stumbling and limping, they made it in.

"About the shower…" Bruce began, unsure of how to proceed.

"I was thinking, you can stand in the doorway so if there's a problem, you'll be right there." Kitty explained as they walked in her room.

It smelled like orange blossoms and sea air, Bruce noted. They stepped into the bathroom and Kitty took hold of the sink to help keep herself upright.

"Now, I know you had to take off my suit to get me in this gown, which is ridiculous, by the way," She added. "But I still want you to turn around, at least until I get behind the shower curtain."

"Oh, of course." He nodded, turning around so he could look at her room. The walls were painted a cool, purple slate color, standing out dramatically against her dark wood furniture. The room was very warm and comforting to Bruce, who found solace in the jewel tones. He soon heard the shower water start.

"Okay, I'm in. You can turn around now." She chimed from inside the shower.

Bruce leaned against the door frame and tried to think of something to say. "So, what's your tattoo?" He asked.

"What?"

"The tattoo on your side." Bruce prompted. "I saw it when I was taping up your ribs."

"It's a Special Forces thing." Kitty said shortly. She didn't know why, but she always felt uncomfortable discussing her tattoo with people who had never served. Kitty knew that no matter how hard they tried, they could never understand.

"So, what terrible things has Deadpool been telling you about me?" She asked as she poured shampoo into her hand and lathered it in her long hair.

"Nothing terrible. I think I know now why you two aren't really allowed to work together, though. He told me about the confirmed kills thing."

"He's still pissy about that?" Kitty laughed as she rinsed out her hair. "He was complaining about it in front of Steve because even with the numbers updated, I've got him beat by, like, thirty people. You can guess where that went." She worked conditioner in her hair and quickly washed her face.

"Yeah, the good guys have strong feelings about murder for hire." There was a moment of tense silence and Bruce realized he might have gone too far. "Deadpool blames himself for you getting hurt." He said softly.

She sighed. "It's not his fault. He was dealing with the other guys. It happens." Kitty started washing her body, trying to ignore how painful the task was.

"He loves you, you know." Bruce said very matter-of-factly.

"Like a sister." Kitty clarified. She rinsed out the conditioner, turned off the water, and started wringing out her hair. "Could you hand me a towel?" She stuck her hand out from the curtain and took the green towel from Bruce.

"Everyone loves you."

"Except Thor," Kitty started as she dried off her body. "He hates me."

"Remind me again how that happened?"

"I don't know. Neither of us ever liked each other." Kitty shrugged. "Just personality clash, I guess."

"So he's the cousin, twice removed, that doesn't like you."

Kitty laughed. "Tony and Steve see me as the daughter they never asked for."

"You're like a niece for Nat and Clint." Bruce added.

"And what about you?" She asked, peering her head from out behind the curtain. They locked eyes for several seconds before Kitty stuck her head back in the shower and dried her hair.

"What about me?" He decided to try to play it cool. He wasn't about to ruin their friendship if she didn't feel the same way about him.

"Well, we talked about how Deadpool, Thor, mom and dad, and even how Tasha and Clint see me," Kitty wrapped the towel around her body and gingerly stepped out of the shower. She grabbed her brush from the counter and pulled it through her hair. "But not about you."

"It doesn't matter," He smiled lightly, trying to write it off. Bruce searched his mind to think of any topic change possible.

(Narrator: "The weather, perhaps?")

"It matters to me." She whispered, stepping in front of him. Kitty looked up at him before her eyes flicked down to his lips.

He quickly closed the space between them, running his hand through her damp hair. The moment his lips touched hers, it was as if a firework had gone off. Bruce's lips were hot on hers, urgent and needing. Kitty's various wounds hurt, but she tried to push the thought away as she wrapped her arm around the back of his neck. She felt his arm pulling her closer, keeping her pressed against him.

Finally, she had to break the kiss. He looked at her, his eyes full of guilt as if he had done something wrong.

"No, it's not you." Her hand flew to her throat. "My neck kinda hurts."

His eyes widened and he mentally berated himself for only now remembering that she was still injured. "Sit," He ordered. He kneeled down and carefully peeled off the gauze. "Looks like this one stitch is pulling but luckily, hasn't ripped yet. Do you have any bandages?"

"Under the cupboard there."

Bruce retrieved a gauze pad and some tape and began covering up her gruesome looking wound.

"That good, huh?" Kitty asked, upon noticing Bruce's grimace.

"It's that you got hurt in general," He looked up at her. "I don't like it, never did." Bruce added, ripping off the last piece of tape and adding it to her neck. "There you go." He helped Kitty up and pulled her close.

She gave him a quick kiss before pushing him away slightly. "I need to get dressed." She walked out of the bathroom and opened up one of her bureau drawers. Turning, Kitty saw that he was still standing in the bathroom doorway. "Go wait outside." She waved her hand at him. "I'll be out in a minute."

Bruce Banner walked out of her bedroom and closed the door behind him. His mind replayed the incident, and he momentarily found himself wondering if he had just imagined it. He looked down at his hand and felt that it was still slightly wet from being in her damp hair and smiled to himself.

"Hola, mi amigo verde y bestial," Deadpool greeted as he walked through Kitty's living room. "¿La Belleza está ahí?"

Bruce rubbed his forehead with one hand before answering. "Deadpool, you know I don't speak Spanish."

"Iron Giant Dick sent me up here to check on you two. Dinner's in ten minutes." Deadpool disclosed as he leaned his back on the wall across from Bruce. The two stared at each other for moment before Bruce spoke.

"They're letting you stay for dinner? Since when?" He nodded his head to the mercenary, who had been banned from "family meals" since The Projectile Potato Catastrophe. They had also resolved to never have mashed potatoes again, much to Steve's displeasure.

"I convinced them to let me stay. For Kitty's sake, of course."

Bruce rolled his eyes. He could tell that Deadpool was going to milk her being injured as long as he could.

The door opened and Kitty stepped out in a pair of leggings and a large black sweatshirt. It's all about the comfort.

"Hola mi hermosa flor mortal," Deadpool bowed dramatically.

Kitty smiled and said, "Hola, mi guapo amigo rojo y negro vestido."

Deadpool cocked his head to the side, resembling a dog. "¿Guapo?"

"English, guys," Bruce reminded them.

"Ahora es nuestra oportunidad de chismear sobre él." Deadpool divulged to Kitty with a smirk. "¿Crees que todo se vuelve verde?"

Kitty turned to Bruce and said, "He said he will be delighted to speak English for you."

"That's not what the subtitles said." Deadpool said in a singsong tone before starting off to the elevator with Bruce and Kitty lagging behind.

"Sorry about the slowness," She apologized as Bruce shifted the arm wrapped around her waist. "Still kinda sore."

"You've only been up for an hour, it's to be expected." Bruce reassured her. "Actually, you're not even supposed to be out of bed yet."

"Eh, details." Kitty shrugged. They took the lift down and walked into the dining room, looking up when the cheers erupted.

Soon, Kitty, Bruce, Steve, Tony, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton were all sitting at the table, laughing and talking. Even Deadpool was welcome, sitting between Kitty and Tony, making jokes and adding to the stories floating around. But, like all fun things, the night came to a close and everyone went off on their own.

Kitty was heading back up to her room when Bruce fell into step beside her. "Are you going to make my life easier and sleep in the med bay tonight, like you're supposed to?" Kitty stopped and turned her head, her eyebrow raised and her mouth curled into a smirk. "Right." Bruce nodded and shoved his hands in the pockets of his pajamas.

"Look, I'm not sleeping down there, it's cold and I'm not doing it." She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to discreetly grab her side. It had started throbbing again, and seemed to get worse with each step.

"You shouldn't even be out of the med bay!" Bruce argued. "You just woke up, what if you have a problem when you're sleeping? Or you rip a stitch? I know for a fact that your side is killing you."

"Is not." She lied as she shifted her weight to the other foot.

"Then why are you gripping your ribs like that?" He asked pointedly. Kitty looked down and sighed. "Here," He produced a yellow bottle of pills. "It's Toradol. I know you refuse to take narcotics. It won't do much but it should take a bit of the edge off."

Kitty took the bottle gratefully. "Thanks." The others didn't understand why she never took narcotics, but Bruce never pushed it.

"Now will you stay in the infirmary?" Bruce tried.

"Are you bribing me with drugs? For shame, Dr. Banner." She joked. "Look, why don't you just sleep over in my room if it bothers you that much?" Kitty turned back around and continued to her room. "Well, are you coming?" She asked over her shoulder.

Bruce quietly fell in step behind her then stood awkwardly by her bedroom door. "So, do you want me to take the couch?"

Kitty flicked on the lights and carefully peeled off her sweatshirt to reveal a berry colored tank top underneath. She stepped into the bathroom to get some water, quickly popping two white pills in her mouth before continuing to her bed. Bruce noticed that some of the pink splotches on her back and shoulders had started to develop into bruises.

Kitty pulled back the dark blue bedding and slid under the covers. She looked up and saw that he was still standing awkwardly at the door. "We're adults, Bruce." Kitty pointed out. "I think we can share a king sized bed without any problems."

Bruce Banner, standing absolutely still in the room, watched as she rolled onto her side to look at him.

"Well, are you comin'?"

Bruce nodded silently as he turned off the lights, and walked up to the large bed. She flipped back the covers and patted the spot next to her.

The bed was comfortable and warm, especially with Kitty next to him. Worried, he reached a hand over to feel her forehead. "Your skin is really hot." He pressed his hand to her shoulder and felt that it, too, was a little feverish.

"Stop doctoring," She complained, closing her eyes. "The meds will kick in soon." Kitty readjusted her pillow and fell into a hot and uncomfortable sleep.

Bruce woke up just an hour later on his back with Kitty hugging him. She was laying on her side with her leg draped over his torso and her head tucked up on his chest. His arm was wrapped protectively around her back, keeping her pressed up against him. Bruce had never realized just how small Kitty was until then; She was half his size. He looked down, gently brushing a strand of hair out of her face, and breathed a sigh of relief. Her fever had gone down but unfortunately, she stirred. Bruce lay completely petrified as she nuzzled closer to him, pressing her face on the skin near his heart as she continued sleeping. He fell back asleep, a soft smile on his face as he hugged her closer to him.

Kitty woke up nine hours later with an intense pain in her side and shortness of breath. She quickly noticed that she was on top of Bruce, who was still dead asleep and snoring. She carefully pried herself off of him and went into the bathroom to take more pain medication and brush her teeth. She examined her face carefully in the mirror.

The bruise had settled into a large, dark purple spot covering most of her eye and cheek. Smaller bruises spotted her collarbone, knuckles, arms, and legs. She cautiously pulled up her shirt and saw that her back was also covered in deep bruises around every single vertebrae, with several cuts from the brick wall she was thrown against. Lastly was her neck, which was still wrapped up. She undid the wrappings and gasped at the sight. It was worse than she'd thought. The skin around the cut was red and tight, and there was a dark and uneven gash being held closed with dark blue stitches. It was rather gruesome.

In the corner of the mirror, she noticed that Bruce was laying in bed, awake, watching her examine her neck. She met his eyes in the mirror and turned to look at him. "Mornin'." She called cheerfully. He just stared at her unhappily, his face dejected and disappointed. "What's wrong?"

"I am so sorry, Kitty." Bruce murmured sadly.

Kitty stood in the bathroom doorway and tilted her head to the side a little, her eyebrows drawn together. "For what?"

"It's going to scar." Bruce tapped his neck with his finger. "There was nothing I could do besides sew it up." He explained. "It's never going to be unnoticable."

Kitty hopped on the bed, ignoring the heavy pain in her side, and cuddled close to Bruce. "It's not my first scar and most definitely won't be the last." She looked up at him. "Besides," She sat up and tied her long hair up in a ponytail. "I didn't think it was that bad. Could come in handy to intimidate people. Besides, it kinda suits me, don't cha think?" She smiled devilishly, swaying her ponytail to the side. "Are you staying in bed all day?"

"Depends."

"On what?" Kitty asked with a smirk.

Bruce smiled softly. "If you stay in bed with me."

Kitty laughed, "Nice try, love." She quickly kissed his cheek before stepping into her closet. "But I'm starving."

"I'll take you out to breakfast, then. As a date. I mean, only if you want." He added nervously. Kitty poked her head out from the closet, a wide smile on her face.

"A breakfast date. I like it."

Bruce begrudgingly rolled out of bed. "I'm going to go get dressed. Meet you in the family room?"

"Sounds good."

Bruce yawned as he walked out to Kitty's living room and opened the door leading out to the hall, nearly running into someone. Tony and Steve Roger's eyes widened as they took in that Bruce was leaving Kitty's room in the morning. Bruce stared at the two for several seconds, trying to think of a good excuse. He decided to just look down and continue heading to elevator, leaving Tony and Steve on the sixth floor.


	3. Taxi Driver

**Taxi** **Driver**

"Theatre district, please!" Kitty requested as she and Bruce climbed into a yellow cab. She pressed her new sunglasses further onto her nose before making a face. She would have to buy another pair. These ones let too much light in.

The cabbie turned in his seat, staring at Kitty and Bruce. Kitty self consciously adjusted the scarf around her neck and smiled. "You sure you don't want me to take you to the hospital?" The cabbie asked Kitty, ignoring Bruce completely.

"Already been." Kitty informed him, sneaking a glance at Bruce.

"The police station, then?" He prompted.

"Nope, just the theatre district, please." Kitty answered pointedly, a tight smile stretching on her uneasy face.

"Okay," The cabbie turned back in his seat and started the engine. He drove for several minutes before speaking again. "You okay back there?"

"Yeah-"

"I wasn't talking to you, sir." The cabbie said shortly as he looked at the backseat in his mirror, glaring at Bruce. "Miss?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Kitty asked, suspicious of the cabbie. She met Bruce's eyes and lifted her eyebrow.

The cabbie pulled the taxi to the curb, and parked before turning back around in his seat. Kitty's hand fished for the knife in her jacket, ready to use if needed. "Miss, if this guy," He nodded to Bruce, who looked taken aback. "Is hurting you, the police can stop it."

Kitty stared at the cabbie before breaking out in laughter. "He didn't hurt me." She giggled, putting her hand on Bruce's shoulder. "I was mugged." Kitty explained to the man, whose face changed.

"Oh," The man looked over at Bruce, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, mister. I just saw her face all bruised up like that, got worried."

"It's okay." Bruce Banner said slowly, very uncomfortable with the situation.

"Theatre District, then!" The man called cheerfully.


	4. The Sound of Silence

**The** **Sound** **of** **Silence**

"Ooh, let's play 'Never Have I Ever'!" Deadpool suggested with a smile.

Groans of 'no's rained through the room.

"Would you guys rather play Twister with him?" Kitty asked pointedly.

"THAT WAS AN OPTION?!" Deadpool yelled, his face lit with excitement.

"'Never Have I Ever' it is." Steve confirmed. "Whatever that is."

* * *

"Okay," Tony spun the bottle in the middle of the circle. "And it's...Kitty's turn!"

"Uh…" Kitty bit her lip as she tried to think through the slight buzz in her head. Her bottle was only a fourth full and she had begun to feel it two questions ago. "Oh! Never have I ever…Told someone that I loved em."

Everyone looked around at each other in shock.

"Never?" Bruce asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

"Nope." Kitty shook her head.

"No one?" Tony clarified.

Steve looked very concerned. "Not family or friends?"

"Or a bartender?" Clint tried. "Maybe a supermodel?"

"Not one." Kitty confirmed.

Everyone, except for Kitty, took a long swig from their bottles.

Kitty spun the bottle, which pointed at Peter Parker.

Peter was ready. "Never have I ever slept with a hooker."

Kitty, Tony, Clint, Bruce, and Natasha all looked down in shame before taking a sip.

"No!" Steve said in a hushed voice. His eyes flirted around his family, who were desperately trying to avoid his gaze. "No!"

Bruce Banner: "To be fair-"

Natasha Romanoff: "Had no idea he-"

Kitty Vics: "I just thought she was confident-"

Tony Stark: "She was a very high end escort-"

Clint Barton: "It was before I was-"

Deadpool, clearly unabashed: "She was decently priced and not freaked out by my suit."

"I'm judging all of you." Peter said with a pointed look at Deadpool.

"Why don't you just spin the bottle." Natasha suggested.

Peter grabbed the bottle and twisted sharply. "Kitty again!"

"No!" Kitty complained, pointing at the offending object. "No, I just went!"

"You know the rules!" Clint reminded her.

"Fine!" Kitty held up her hands to stop the flow of complaints. "Fine, uh, never have I ever…" Her face dropped and she wavered slightly. "Never have I ever...Told someone that I hated em or that they were in any way worthless."

The room paused, as if it was taking a breath.

"You've never told someone that you hated them?" Steve finally asked. "Not a villain or someone when you're really mad?"

"I know what it feels like to be told you're worthless and that no one would ever love you." Kitty raised her bottle to her lips and drank the rest. When she finished, she said, "And I wouldn't wish that on anyone." She set her bottle down. "I'm out."

Everyone watched her stumble towards the elevator.

"See you bitches tomorrow afternoon." Kitty waved as the door shut.


	5. Purple Haze

**Purple** **Haze**

"Psst!"

Bruce inched into the room, his eyes wide. It was destroyed. The entire sixth level was in utter chaos; Blankets were strewn about, pillows had been thrown on top of counters. Inside the small kitchen and bar, drawers were opened and ransacked and Bruce took note of the empty bottle sitting by the sink.

"Psst!"

"Kitten?" Bruce glanced around the destroyed room for the voice. Now that he really looked, Bruce started to see organization in the mess. The blankets seemed to make a structure, while the pillows provided stability. "Where are you?"

"Under here!" She stuck her hand out from the blanket fort and waved at him.

Bruce bent down to look at her. "Are you crazy?"

Kitty grabbed the front of his shirt and dragged him into the fort.

Bruce's eyes adjusted to the kaleidoscope of colors from the light filtered through the blankets. She had LED candles scattered inside the structure to give more light. Kitty had pillows to lay on and a plate of various cookies and treats.

"Where did you get that?" Bruce gently traced his finger over her bruised cheekbone. A small cut was in the middle of the dark bruise and she winced from the pain.

"Let's not talk about that." Kitty suggested as she pulled Bruce's hand from her face. She sat criss-cross in the structure, which was tall enough to accommodate Bruce mirroring her stance. "Let's talk about…" She grabbed a bag of sour gummy worms and ripped it open. "Our favorite things."

"Okay." Bruce agreed, his eyes softening.

Kitty popped a gummy worm in her mouth and chewed, deep in thought. Finally, she decided on asking the basics. "What's your favorite color?"

"Dark purple."

"Like blackberry?" Kitty asked. Bruce nodded. "Is it because it looks really good on you?"

Bruce shrugged. "I just find it comforting."

"I like purple." Kitty touched one of the purple blankets making up the fort. "That's why my room is decorated in jewel tones."

"So is purple your favorite?" Bruce asked.

"Nah." Kitty shook her head and wagged her finger at it. "But don't you laugh, Dr. Banner."

Bruce tried to keep from smiling as he said, "Okay…"

"My favorite color is the ugliest, most 1970's orange you can find." She declared. "Like your mother's Tupperware set orange."

Bruce couldn't help but laugh. "Why?"

Kitty smiled. "I don't know. I just like it."


	6. Good Kitty Hunting

**Good** **Kitty** **Hunting**

"Hey, mûre!" Kitty smiled lopsidedly at Bruce, who was sitting on the couch with his laptop. She wandered over and put her chin on his shoulder before asking, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Google has a new surgical robot it's debuting-" Bruce paused and looked over at Kitty. "Are you drunk?"

"I did not have a very good day." Kitty collapsed onto the couch next to him. "I had a very bad day, actually. A very, very bad day."

Bruce closed his laptop and turned to look at her. "What happened?"

Kitty sighed dramatically. "It's April second."

Bruce waited for her to elaborate, but she stayed silent and somber. "Got something against the second day in April?"

"It's an awful day, never once had a good April second." A tear escaped from Kitty's eye, which she quickly wiped away. She stood up and wandered over to the small bar next to the kitchen. The next thing Bruce saw was Kitty pouring herself a tall glass of whiskey.

"Kitten," Bruce stood up and walked over to her. "Was it bad enough that you need to drink like that?"

"April second is a terrible day." She repeated before taking another drink. "You were an only child, right? Abusive father?" Bruce quietly nodded so Kitty held out the bottle for him.

Bruce shook his head. "Not a good idea."

"Suit yourself." Kitty poured the rest of the bottle into her glass and set the glass in the trash. "I miss havin' a brother."

"You've got Peter." He reminded her.

Kitty gave a short laugh. "Ethan was a lot like Petey. But, ya know," She shrugged. "If Petey was a blond, Southern boy with dimples." She took a swig of the whiskey before saying, "He would've been a doctor. Damn good doctor."

"You never talk about your brother." Bruce said softly.

"He's dead. And I try not to talk to or bout the dead." Kitty went to take another drink and found that her glass was somehow empty. "He's dead today. Well, not today, of course, but he died on a today."

"Kitty," Bruce's face softened with concern. "I didn't know, I'm sorry."

"He liked purple, too." Kitty poked at Bruce's shirt. "Not a dark purple, though, he liked a pretty lilac color."

"I think it's time for you to go to bed." Bruce wrapped his arm around her back and started ushering her into her bedroom.

"Maybe, if I'm real lucky, I won't wake up." Kitty mumbled inaudibly.

Bruce bent down to hear her better. "What?"

She shook her head. "Nothin'. Hey, didja know that I like Bruce soooooo much better than the other guy." They entered her room and she flopped onto her bed.

"Really?" Bruce asked. He sat next to her and continued, "Isn't he more of an advantage in a fight?"

"We've got enough fighters in this group." She pointed out. "We need more medics. More McCoys."

"Come on," Bruce urged by pulling the comforter down. "Bedtime."

"Why, Dr. Banner," Kitty purred. "Who knew it'd be you tryin' to give me orders?" She moved forward and kissed him as she started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Kitty…" Bruce removed her hand and gently pushed her back onto the bed. "You're drunk."

"And horny." Kitty finished as she tried to kiss him again.

Bruce pulled away and stood up, leaving her on the bed. "Maybe when you're sober, Kitten."

"You heros and your morals." Kitty sighed as she flopped down onto her pillow, looking up at Bruce through her eyelashes. "I think I love you, Bruce Banner."

Bruce, who had been getting a spare blanket from the closet, paused. "What'd you say?"

"I said that I love you." She said simply. "I mean, who wouldn't?"


	7. A Well Respected Man

**A** **Well** **Respected** **Man**

"So," Kitty sat on Bruce's bed and watched him collect random items from around his messy room. "You have to teach a bunch of first year college students about biology just so you can get another doctorate?"

"Yeah," Bruce shrugged and smiled over at Kitty. "Sort of."

"Is seven not enough?"

"Apparently not." Bruce shoved an iPad, then a laptop into a satchel.

"Why do you need both of those?" Kitty nodded to the devices.

"Some things you just can't do on an iPad." Bruce said distractively as he searched through his bedside drawer. He withdrew a small, square object with glowing green squiggles on it.

"What's that?"

Bruce's eyes widened and he quickly stashed the object in the pocket of his jacket. "What, nothing."

"What is it?" Kitty asked as she leapt from the bed and tried to rifle through his pocket.

"It's a game. Video game thing." Bruce said lamely as he backed away from her. "In case I get bored."

"Okay." Kitty nodded. "That's a lie, but okay." She laid her hand on his brown jacket and smiled. "What's up with the jacket?"

"It's called a sports coat." Bruce straightened up his jacket and smiled proudly.

"No, it's not." Kitty laughed. "It's one of those ugly ass corduroy-tweed jackets."

Bruce's face fell and he looked down at the jacket. "I'm a Professor, it's professional."

"No, a suit is professional." Kitty smiled and laid back down on his bed. "That looks like you need a cigar and a brandy." She saw him crack a smile at that. "Like, seriously, do they give you guys a catalogue of dork wear when you get your third doctorate?"

"No," Bruce buttoned up the jacket and bent down to kiss her. "They give us that when we get our fourth doctorate."

"I knew it." Kitty whispered before they kissed again. He went back to gathering his supplies and she continued watching. "Want to grab breakfast? I can take you and pick you up for your first day."

"What are you going to do during the in between?" Bruce asked.

Kitty pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "Tony wants me to sit in on some boring meeting."

* * *

"You can drop me off here." Bruce pointed to a parking lot. "My building is just over there."

"Okay." Kitty kissed him before he got out of the car. "Make good choices!" She called out the window.

A couple hours later, Kitty pulled up in front of the building and (illegally) parked. She slipped her sunglasses on and got out so she could lean on the door of her 1969 Corvette. She was in her suit, but left the gun under the seat of her car.

(Narrator: "Even she had some boundaries.")

She watched the various college students walk by, some interested in the car, others entranced by her. A group had formed in front of the science building, all intent on staring at her. Kitty blew her gum into a bubble, then popped it loudly. She saw Bruce walking out of a side door. He had his glasses on and his hair was slightly messed up, making Kitty grin. People watched, somewhat confused, as the dorky Professor walked up to the blonde and kissed her.

Bruce slid his hand down her thigh, pausing at the gun holster. "Why the suit?"

"We got the Bat signal." Kitty shrugged and gave him another peck on the lips. "Think Tony said LA." She opened her car door and was about to get in when she heard someone yell:

"Dr. Banner! Wait! Dr. Banner!" A nerdy kid with dark, short curly hair was jogging up to them, his hand clutching at a brown leather bag. He finally stopped in front of Kitty and Bruce, slightly out of breath. "Glad I caught up-" The kid's eyes slid to Kitty and he paused. His eyebrows furrowed together and he looked uncomfortable.

Bruce, somewhat used to people's reactions to him and Kitty, prompted, "You're in one of my classes, right?"

"Oh," The kid focused his attention back on Bruce and smiled. "Yeah, I'm actually a big fan of yours. I've read all your dissertations and-" His excitement was cut short by the ringing of Kitty's phone. He watched with narrowed eyes as she stepped away to take the call.

"That's, uh," Bruce tried to think of what to say. "Really cool, but I didn't catch your name."

The kid looked ecstatic. "Luke. Luke Giles."

"Well, Luke," Bruce looked over to see Kitty nodded towards the car. "I'll be happy to answer any questions you have on Wednesday, or you can come to my office." He climbed in the passenger seat as Kitty started the car. "You'll find the hours posted on the syllabus."

The kid watched as Kitty put the car in drive and sped off.

By the time they had gotten back to the Tower, Kitty was disappointed to hear that LAPD had the situation under control and that the Avengers would not be needed.

"Fuckin' pigs," Kitty growled as she flopped dramatically on Bruce's bed. "LAPD, always gotta ruin everything. Offspring was right."

"You're mad because the cops managed to get an arsonist in custody without any casualties?" Bruce asked quietly as he typed away on his laptop. "Why am I not surprised."

Kitty narrowed her eyes at him, but his attention was focused solely on whatever was on his computer screen. She sighed and rolled her eyes, which landed on his bedside table. She checked to make sure he wasn't looking and slowly moved towards the drawer. Kitty carefully eased the drawer open and glanced down. She could have sworn she saw him put the mysterious cube back, but it was gone.

"Looking for this?" Bruce asked. Kitty's head flicked up to look at him with wide eyes. He was holding the cube, which stilled shined green.

"No." Kitty lied. She tried to appear casual as she focused her attention on her nails. "Thought I left a nail file in there."

"Sure." Bruce said before tossing the cube towards her.

Kitty caught it in one hand and began to inspect it. Bruce had gone back to his computer and the only sound for several moments was the swift typing on the keyboard. Then, "Is it supposed to be blue and purple?"

Bruce slowly looked up at her to see the cube's lettering swirled with teals and violets. "Huh." Kitty threw the cube at him. He watched as it slowly melded unto green in his hands.

"It's not supposed to do that, I'm guessing." Kitty said.

"No." Bruce was still studying the box, turning it over in his hands. Finally, he stood up. "Let's go show Tony."

"Nuh-uh." She shook her head stubbornly. "Not until you tell me what it does."

"You can't ever just leave things alone, can you?"

"Nope."

"Fine." Bruce sighed. "Tony and I were hoping to make something that warns me whenever…The 'Other Guy' might show up."

"Oh, okay." Kitty said brightly as she swung her legs off the bed.

Bruce stared at her, dumbstruck. "That's it? That's all you wanted?"

She walked to the door and glanced over her shoulder. "Yeah."

Bruce, still holding the cube, followed Kitty to the garage. Tony's legs were sticking out from under a bright blue car and a Sex Pistols song played in the background. "Something's wrong with the cube." Bruce said bluntly.

"Hello to you, too, Banner." Tony said as he slid out from under the car. "Hey, Kit."

Kitty smiled. "Sup', daddy-o."

"So," Tony, still sitting on the car creeper, wiped the grease off his hands with a rag. "What's wrong with the cube?"

Bruce handed the prototype to Kitty and it turned blue and purple again. Tony stood up and crossed the large garage until he was standing right in front of the two. He carefully took the cube from Kitty's hand and watched as the color drained from it, as it was meant to. He gave it back to Bruce and it turned green.

"Huh."


	8. Teenagers

**Teenagers**

Wednesday, Bruce arrived at his classroom early. He figured, since he was a full two hours early, that no one would be there and he could have some time to prepare. He was wrong.

"Hello, Dr. Banner!"

Bruce stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to look at the student in the seat right in the front of the class. Luke Giles was sitting, straight as a board, with his laptop open and his briefcase on the floor next to his feet. On the back of his chair was a jacket, identical to the one Bruce was wearing on Monday.

"Hello, Mr. Giles." Bruce said carefully.

"Luke."

"Luke," Bruce corrected. He looked around the enormous lecture hall, which was glaringly empty. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"No," The kid smiled. "Not really."

"Oh, okay." Bruce said awkwardly. He walked over to his desk and set down his satchel. "So," He started to remove some papers from the bag and made three separate stacks. "You said you read all my dissertations?"

"Oh, yes." Luke nodded enthusiastically. "All of them. My favorite was the one of the effects of Gamma-"

He was cut off by the ringing of Bruce's cell phone. Luke watched as Bruce dug it out of his pocket and looked at the screen.

"Excuse me a minute." Bruce said before answering the call. "Hey, honey."

Luke's face twitched.

"No, I'm not busy," Bruce smiled. "Class doesn't start for a couple hours…" His smile faded fast and was replaced with worry. "Do you guys need me?...Are you sure? What if something happens?...No, I'm coming...Hey, it's fine, I'll just assign some reading...Yes, I know it's my second day...You're more important, Kitten...No, that's it, I'll meet you guys there...I love you, too. See you soon." Bruce hung up the phone and turned to address Luke. He was startled to see that Luke was practically breathing down his neck.

"Is everything alright, Dr. Banner?"

Bruce blinked at him. "Uh, yeah." He started collecting his papers and shoved them into his bag. "Something came up and I won't be able to teach today."

"Oh." Luke walked back to his chair and shrugged on his jacket. "I was really looking forward to today's class."

"It's an...Emergency. Family emergency." Bruce shouldered his satchel and started to walk to the door.

"Girlfriend emergency?"

Something in the boy's tone make Bruce stop. He glanced over his shoulder at Luke, his eyes narrowed. "Little above your pay grade, Mr. Giles." He walked out of the lecture hall without another thought of Luke Giles.

* * *

"You didn't have to come." Kitty reminded Bruce as she put her hand on his chest.

"If I don't," Bruce leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Who's going to sew you up when you do something stupid?"

Kitty laughed. "Deadpool?" She took his hand and they walked up to the rest of the group.

"Glad you're here, Banner." Steve said. He looked back down at the table, which had a large map of the state of New York on it. "We can use your medical expertise."

"Medical expertise?" Bruce asked, looking at the group.

"I didn't want to tell you over the phone," Kitty murmured. "But the job is...Weird."

"How weird?"

"Skin melting off bones." Tony said distractedly as he tinkered on his iPad.

"Very Ark of the Covenant." Kitty smiled mischievously. "NYPD doesn't know what to do, they're keeping it low profile. The case is all ours."

Bruce looked away from his macobe girlfriend. "So, there are plenty of chemicals that can dissolve flesh. Sodium hydroxide and potassium hydroxide. Sulfuric acid, which is just hydrogen, sulfur, and oxygen. Hell, you can buy ten containers of drain cleaner from the store."

"Except," Tony turned on the TV, which showed a video of a community pool. It had obviously closed down years ago and was now being used as a skateboard park. The video looked like one of the kids was filming their friends tricks. "This isn't lye." He pressed play and the group watched the screen. It was a typical teenager hangout, complete with graffiti and cigarette butts. Teenagers were skating up and down the sides, some flipping their skateboards and lifting their legs up before skating back down. Tony pressed the fast forward button. "There's five hours of that. The important part is...Here. Just when the park gets busy, about an hour and half ago."

A teen tried to jump and hold onto his skateboard at the same time as he reached the top of the side. He wasn't fast enough and ended up hitting the metal bar on the top perimeter of the pool. His chest hit the bar and he slid down, catching his face on the metal. All of the people, both in the video and the room, cringed and recoiled.

"Shit." Kitty whispered.

Natasha grimaced. "That's got to hurt."

"Now watch his shirt."

Everyone leaned closer to the TV and watched as the teenager's t-shirt began to dissolve. He began screaming and clawing at his chest as his skin started burning with steam curling around. The camera was dropped and from the corner of the screen, the boy's face began to melt away. The video stopped.

"Teenager named Scott Ridley," Steve read from a paper file. "Sixteen, sophomore in high school. Died on the way to the hospital." He handed the records to Bruce, who looked fascinated.

"It says here that Ridley tested positive for marijuana and." Bruce's eyebrows narrowed as he continued reading the report. "Dextroamphetamine."

"Go-go pills." Kitty added. She noticed everyone, including Bruce, looking at her with questioning looks. "It's an upper. They used to give them to us in Special Forces if the mission required us to be active for more than twenty-four hours. One go-go pill could keep you up for twelve to fourteen hours. We'd pop two or three, be up long enough to do the mission. Sometimes longer if you mixed them with caffeine." They were still staring at her. "Which I...Never did."

Steve pointed his finger at her and said, "We're going to talk about this later, young lady."

"Says the man who used drugs to become a super soldier." Kitty sassed.

"Okay," Natasha crossed her arms over her chest. "So the kid took some Adderall, smoked some weed. What does this have to do with his skin melting off?"

"I don't know. Maybe an allergic reaction to the metal-"

"Not likely." Tony shook his head. "At least ten more kids that were there are now in the hospital. Three have severe chemical burns on various body parts, mostly hands, and the others have mild burns on their hands and feet. But the gloves and shoes they were wearing are completely melted."

"Maybe this is gang related." Kitty suggested.

Natasha narrowed her eyebrows. "A gang that uses chemicals?"

"What makes you think that, Kit?"

"Well, this," Kitty walked up to the screen and pointed to several symbols painted in orange spray paint. "Is from a gang up in Vinegar Hill."

"You think it's retaliation?" Steve asked.

"Could be. Maybe highschool gang rivalry?"

"Okay," Steve nodded. "Natasha, you and I will go to Brooklyn, see about the gang situation."

"Good luck." Kitty wished. "Don't get mugged!" She called over her shoulder as the two left Bruce, Kitty, and Tony to examining the effects of the chemicals.

"Any way I can get samples?" Bruce asked hopefully.

"Do ya one better," Kitty messed with her boyfriend's hair. "You, Tony, and I get to go interview the kids."

Half an hour later, they were at the hospital treating most of the chemical burn patients. Kitty and Bruce teamed together, with Kitty asking routine questions and Bruce gauging the source and/or properties of the chemical. Tony was talking to the head of the hospital, trying to distract them with large sums of donations in exchange for the alone time with the patients (the police hadn't released their temporary badges yet). By the third kid, Kitty was pretty sure Tony was having more fun than her and Bruce. Every victim seemed the same; Shaggy hair, guyliner, beanie caps. Kitty had no idea if they were reapplying the eyeliner in the hospital or if it was residue from years of buildup. Either way, she was tired of looking at it.

"So, there I am, doin' dis grab bur raise-"

"Excuse me." Bruce cut off the teenager. "But what is a grab bar raise?"

"Oh, it's where ya ride up da ramp, grab hold of the metal bur-" The teenager leaned over and jabbed his finger on the photograph. When he lifted his finger, Kitty was disgusted to see a grease mark. "Raise ya feet and buard up, then come back down backward without breakin' ya ass."

Kitty couldn't help but laugh at the description.

"Think I'm pretty funny, huh?" The teenager smiled at her, showing off his black and red braces. "You hear me durin' dinner tonight-"

"You grabbed the bar," Bruce prompted impatiently.

"Yea, yea, I grabbed the bur and raised up the buard, and my hand start burnin'." The teenager held up his bandaged hand. "And I start hollarin' to my boys that my hand was hurtin' and so we left because my hands were hurtin' and I came here."

"Your hands only hurt after you touched the bar, right?" Kitty asked for clarification.

"That's what I said, ain't it?"

"How long after you touched the bar did your hands hurt?"

The teenager paused. "Bout a minute or two? I had just landed the raise when they hurt."

"Okay," Kitty nodded. "Now did you see anything out of the ordinary? Someone who looked like they didn't belong? Maybe someone who cleaned off the bar or touched it right before you?"

"Nah, but we was busy doin' somethin' else."

"Okay, thanks." Bruce said before him and Kitty left. They stood outside the closed door. "Whatever this is is powerful enough to burn almost instantly." He checked his watch and sighed.

"You can still make it to your class, you know." Kitty rubbed his shoulder. "Tony and I can take it from here."

Bruce looked up at her hopefully; He knew he would have more fun teaching than asking skateboarders what the hell these tricks were called. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "And I'll-"

"Let Tony take the samples." They both finished at the same time.

"Okay." Bruce nodded. "I should just barely make it."

"Don't hurt Rosa." She handed over the keys to her Corvette. "Please."

Bruce looked down at the keys. She never trusted anyone with her cars, not even Tony. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She shrugged. "I'll get a ride with Tony." Kitty kissed him and Bruce started down the hallway. She called after him, "Have fun, Professor."

Bruce made it just five minutes before class was to start.

"Mr. Banner!" Luke had barely let him get in the door. "You made it!"

Bruce hurried to his desk, the kid following him loyally. "Yeah, the emergency wasn't much of an emergency."

"Oh?" Luke watched Bruce take out his laptop and notes. "I'd thought if it was important enough for you to almost cancel class, it must be interesting."

"Not really." Bruce said distractedly as he hooked his laptop up to the equipment.


	9. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid

**You're** **Gonna** **Go** **Far** , **Kid**

"So, we found out that all of the bars had been painted with whatever his acid thing is." Kitty told Bruce as he walked into one of the small office rooms.

"It could be a base. Despite the name, bases can be just as corrosive to skin as an acid. Sometimes more," Bruce rattled off as he sat down next to her. "Because people don't realize that they are getting burned because they figure that it's a base, like soap, not an acid."

"Thank you, Dr. Banner." Kitty said as she glanced up from the skateboarding footage. "How was class?"

"It went well. The kids…" Bruce's voice drifted off as he watched the video footage. Off to the side was a male in a dark grey hoodie, his face obscured by the fabric. It was impossible to tell, but Bruce thought the figure looked familiar

"Bruce?"

He looked down to see Kitty staring at him. He shook his head softly and blinked.

"You were saying…?"

"Yeah, class went well." Bruce rubbed his temple and sighed. "Just tired now."

"Well, go get some sleep." Kitty suggested, her voice soft.

Bruce looked at the clock and laughed. "It's only seven-thirty."

"And?" Kitty asked him expectantly.

"And I was hoping to spend some time with you." Bruce leaned over and started kissing her neck, fully aware of it being one of her turn ons.

"If you're tired," Kitty put her index finger on his cheek and pulled him towards her before kissing his lips. She breathed, "Go to bed."

He went back to nuzzling her neck and murmured, "Then what will you do?"

"Watch six hours of teenagers skateboarding." Kitty said.

Bruce pulled back and yawned. "Yeah, you're right, that's boring." He stood up and stretched. "I'm going to bed. See you in a couple hours."

"See ya."

Four hours later, Tony went to check on how the video analysis was going. "Kitty, are you done with the video foot-" He paused upon seeing her asleep with her head in her arms. The video was still going on in the background and she looked as if she had been in the middle of making a note, a pen still clutched in her hand. "Kit," Tony whispered. "Kit, wake up." He barely touched her, but the blonde jumped as if she'd been shot.

"Wha?" As she looked around, recognition crossed her face. "Oh, hey dad...I fell 'sleep, didn't I?"

"Yeah." Tony gently took her arm and pulled her up. "Come on, let's get you to the couch." She moved like a zombie and he easily led her to the couch in the living room. She plopped down and Tony covered her with a blanket before kissing her forehead and leaving.

Kitty was only on the couch for two hours when her phone went off. She groaned as she unlocked her phone and opened up the Avenger's group chat.

* * *

 _Captain_ _ _America_ : 'Police think there's been another poisoning.'

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'cookie for them for attempting to think"

 _Captain_ _ _America_ : 'They have requested our presence at the scene.'

Black_Widow: 'No.'

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'Tasha has spoken, this meeting has been postponed until everyone is awake'

Hawkeye: 'For once, I agree with the unfriendly one.'

Black_Widow: 'The sun is not up and neither am I'

 **MERC** - **WITH** - **A** - **MOUTH** : 'WHERE THE FUCKK R WE MEETING'

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'lol mornin sarge'

 **MERC** - **WITH** - **A** - **MOUTH** : 'MORNING MY BEAUTIFUL VIXEN! *kisses cheek*'

 _Iron_ _ _Man_ : 'How did you get in this group chat?'

 **MERC** - **WITH** - **A** - **MOUTH** : 'MAGIC (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧'

 ** _Spider_** _ ** _Man_** : 'I have no idea, that's really weird, isn't it? Anyways, what are we working on?'

- _Iron_ _ _Man_ has removed **_Spider_** _ ** _Man's_** admin privileges-

 ** _Spider_** _ ** _Man_** : 'Hey! Come on!'

 **MERC** - **WITH** - **A** - **MOUTH** : ':(((( let me be avenger! ಠ╭╮ಠ'

- _Iron_ _ _Man_ has removed **MERC** - **WITH** - **A** - **MOUTH** from the chat-

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'so are we going now or will I be allowed to sleep'

 _Iron_ _ _Man_ : 'We'll go now but in civilian clothes. No suits.'

 **Dr**._ **Banner** : 'All of us?"

 _Captain_ _ _America_ : 'Yes, all of us.'

- **Dr**._ **Banner** is offline-

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'where the fuck are we going'

- _Captain_ _ _America_ has activated parental controls-

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'did you just *^ #$ censor me'

Black_Widow: '!~+=, Cap.'

Hawkeye: "*^ #$ funsucker.'

- _Iron_ _ _Man_ has removed parental controls-

 _Iron_ _ _Man_ : 'Boosts morale if they can swear.'

 _Captain_ _ _America_ : '536 Brielly Rd, the strip mall. FLYNN's Arcade.'

-Black_Widow is offline-

- _Captain_ _ _America_ is offline-

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'FLYNN's. at least someone has a sense of humor, points if they have a Tron game!'

Hawkeye: 'Nerd'

- **Violent** _ **Vixen** is offline-

* * *

Kitty groaned as she rolled off the couch and stretched. "Fuck." She sighed. She took the elevator to her room and walked into her bathroom, where Bruce was showering. "Mornin'." She pulled her blonde hair back into a bun and wet her toothbrush.

"Missed you last night."

"Yeah, fell asleep on the couch." Kitty hopped onto the counter and started brushing her teeth. She was disappointed to see that Bruce had the cloth shower curtain pulled so she couldn't see in. Still brushing her teeth, she used her toe to push the curtain aside.

"You're sort of pervy," Bruce commented as he washed his body, under the watchful eye of his girlfriend.

Kitty leaned over the sink to rinse her mouth out. "But you looooove me!"

"So, you know why we're awake this early?"

"Dunno." Kitty admitted before she washed her face. She dried her face on a towel then handed one to Bruce as he shut off the water. "All Cap said was that all of us were needed which, in my professional opinion, sounds like bullshit, but eyy," She shrugged and walked into her bedroom. "Whadda I know?"

"And I don't even get to see you in your suit." He complained as he hooked the back of her bra together.

Kitty laughed and slipped on a t-shirt. "You see me in my suit all the time."

"Yeah," Bruce dried his hair, but his eyes were trained on Kitty, who was zipping up her jeans. "But it's still nice, all leather and spandex."

"Guys are so weird." Kitty slid on her boots and started checking her weapons.

"Oh, so if I was in leather and spandex," Bruce started getting dressed. "You wouldn't be interested?"

"Not really."

"Another woman in leather and spandex?"

Kitty smiled and pointed her index finger at him. "Ya got me there."

"That's what I thought." Bruce grabbed a shirt from the closet and started buttoning it.

Although they were in civilian clothes, the Avengers couldn't be missed as they strolled into the arcade.

"Good," The uniform on the scene scoffed upon seeing the heros and anti-hero. "Glad you people could finally grace us with presence."

"You should be glad." Kitty sassed. She looked at his nameplate and laughed. "Ellington. Eyy, didn't you send in an application to be a doorman at the Tower?"

The man's face turned an impressive shade of burgundy. "How dare-"

"Kitty," Tony put his hand on her shoulder and steered her away from the mall cop. "Play nice with the locals."

"Fine." Kitty grumbled as they stood in front of the entrance to FLYNN's.

Steve managed to immediately find the cop in charge-

( _Narrator_ : " _Yeah_ , _how_ _does_ _he_ _do_ _that_?")

-Who started filling them in.

"Ten dead. Over thirty injured." The cop put his hands on his hips. "And I have no idea what to do with this, but my superiors seem to think you guys will."

"What's the cause of death?" Bruce asked.

The cop looked to Steve. "Is he serious?"

Bruce glanced around at everyone. "What did I say?"

"They obviously burned to death!" The cop said angrily. "What else are you looking for?"

"Lung damage. Contact burns. Heart failure." Bruce hissed. "I want to know the damn cause of death!"

"Bruce." Kitty put her hand on his arm and shook her head. Now was not the time to ge y.

"No lung damage, as far as I can tell." The cop seemed to understand that he was in the wrong. "Contact burns are mostly on their hands."

"Great," Bruce said sarcastically. "So they didn't breathe it in."

"No, I don't think so." The cop grumbled. "We also, uh, don't have any leads."

"Big shocker." Kitty whispered and Tony elbowed her. "So, maybe it's someone young." Kitty suggested.

"Why do you think that?" Steve asked.

"Well...Everything is so…" She struggled to find the right word. "Childish. A skatepark, an arcade. Both alternative hangouts." Kitty shrugged. "Maybe it's a teenager."

"A teenager capable of murder via poison." Steve shook his head.

"Would have to be someone really smart." Natasha reached into her pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes. She was just about to light one when a cop walked over.

"No smoking inside, miss."

With the cigarette still in her mouth, Natasha widened her eyes innocently and asked, "What's the harm of one little cigarette?"

"A $2,000 fine for smoking indoors near non-smokers and underage persons." He took the cigarette from her mouth and handed it to a very smug Kitty. "Lung tumors and I can probably work some jail time in there."

Natasha rolled her eyes and muttered, "Здесь они так обижены."

"Are you here on a VISA?" The cop asked.

"Okay!" Kitty smiled and stepped up to the cop. "Thank you so much for watchin' out for my friend here." She put her hand on the cop's chest and leaned in closer to whisper, "I've been tryin' to get her to stop and maybe now," She looked back at Natasha with a bright smile. "She will. Thank you, officer."

"Well, just make sure she doesn't light up indoors." The cop walked back to his post, his eyes trained on the red head.

While the rest of the group was focused on Natasha's interaction with the cop, Bruce was searching through the crowd.

Kitty turned to see him walking off. "Hey!" She jogged over to Bruce, who looked lost. "You okay?"

"I thought I saw…" Bruce shook his head. "Nevermind."

"Saw what?" Kitty pried.

"Nothing," He rubbed his forehead. "I'm just tired."

"Okay…" Kitty knew he was lying, now wasn't the time to bring that up. "Let's get back to the group, then." She took his hand and led him back to the front of the arcade. "So, anyone got any ideas how he did it?"

"I'm going to need to take another sample." Bruce told them. "I convinced one of the other Professors at the college to give me full access to her lab, so I want to compare this strain to the skatepark one."

"It's definitely more deadly." Natasha watched as the paramedics pulled a gurney with a body bag on it. The deceased only took up half of the bag. "Younger victims, too."

"I don't think he meant to kill children," Kitty said quickly. "But I think he's too focused on places where children can be and that makes him dangerous."

"Maybe it's not a 'he'." Clint suggested.

"Statistically, women are more likely to poison their victims." Bruce informed them all as Tony handed him an iPad with the surveillance footage. He pressed play and continued his mini-lesson. "It makes less of a mess, less blood, less to clean up. Actually, over half of poisonings…" Bruce's voice drifted off as he rewound the footage and watched carefully. A suspicious looking person, wearing a chunky grey jacket with the hood up, was walking around touching the game system's joysticks and buttons. They would put their hand in their pocket, then run it over the games before shoving their hands into their pockets.

Kitty, who was watching the footage over Bruce's shoulder, said, "Look at his hands." She zoomed in on the video and pointed at the slight discrepancy in the person's wrist. "Is he," She narrowed her eyes. "Is he wearing flesh colored gloves?"

"Probably so they don't burn or poison themselves."

"Can you buy those kind of gloves?" Natasha asked. "Like on ?"

"Well," Bruce shrugged. "If he's making his own poison, he probably had to make the resistant gloves."

"Wouldn't want to risk them being inefficient."

"And wouldn't that be terrible!" Kitty rolled her eyes.


	10. The God That Failed

**The** **God** **That** **Failed**

Kitty watched as Bruce used a dropper to put a clear liquid onto the slide, then push it under the microscope. He adjusted a side knob and peered into it. After a moment, he motioned to Kitty.

"Here, take a look."

Kitty looked into the microscope and saw odd, green U-shaped things vibrating around. "Okay...What exactly am I looking at?" She asked as she pulled back to look at Bruce.

"Did you see the way they were moving?" Bruce asked excitedly as he looked back into the scope. "Bilateral movement, both sides reacting at the same time, but yielding different results. And this sample is more potent than the original strain. Look at the difference between the two."

Kitty resisted the desire to roll her eyes as she looked in the microscope again. "Yeah, it looks like a brighter green."

"Fascinating."

"Okay." Kitty shrugged and leaned against the wall. She took out her phone and scrolled through the contacts. She was in the middle of texting Tony about their find when she felt an urge to look up. The kid from earlier was walking into the laboratory, a determined look on his young face. Kitty tapped Bruce on the shoulder and nodded to Luke. She quickly took the slide and stuck it in a container before slipping it into her pocket.

"Hello, Dr. Banner." Luke smiled and raised his hand up in an awkward wave. "We're still having class tomorrow, right?"

"That's the plan." Bruce said as he stood up.

Luke craned his neck to try to see the desk. "What are you working on?"

"See for yourself." Bruce waved his hand towards the chair, which the kid gladly sat in.

Luke eagerly leaned forward and looked into the microscope. "Odd…" He twisted a knob and shifted the slide.

Kitty glanced over at Bruce, who appeared relaxed and nonplussed, with his hands in his pocket.

"The particles almost...Shine. Oil based, perhaps." The kid looked up and guessed, "Perfume?"

"Well done." Bruce retrieved a small vial from his pocket and held it up. "Orange blossom and rose. Liquid that becomes aerosolized with a simple press of the finger."

"Aerosolized." Luke repeated.

"Great science lesson," Kitty said as she tried to pluck the vial from her boyfriend's hand. "Now give me my perfume back." Bruce playfully held it just out of her reach and laughed as she jumped to get it. "Give it back!"

"And if I don't?" Bruce stepped closer to Luke to avoid her grasp.

"You smell nice."

Both Kitty and Bruce slowly turned look at Luke. He looked down and shuffled his feet before looking back at Bruce. "I mean, it's nice perfume."

"Okay." She took note of the boy still staring at Bruce. "Thank you." Kitty said hesitantly, her eyes still focused on the boy as she snatched the vial from Bruce's hand.

"I've got to talk to Dr. Stattler for a minute," Bruce told Kitty. "Thank her for letting us use her equipment. Then we can go."

Kitty smiled tightly. "Okay, sweetie."

Bruce left Kitty and Luke in the lab. Kitty chewed on her lip and looked around at the other students, scattered around, quietly doing their work.

"So," Luke said suddenly. He pointed to her shirt. "You like Metallica."

"Yeah," Kitty smiled brightly, trying to appear friendly. "Do you?"

"No, not really." Then, without warning, Luke turned and walked out of the lab.


	11. Lying Is The Most Fun

**Lying** **Is** **The** **Most** **Fun** **A** **Boy** **Can** **Have** **Without** **Burning** **All** **His** **Clothes** **Off**

Kitty leaned against the wall and popped a stick of gum in her mouth. "Almost done?"

"Yeah," Bruce continued collecting his papers from the lecture he just finished. "Let's go home." He shoved the pages in his briefcase and snapped the lock.

"Great." Kitty kissed his cheek and locked her arm to his. They had just started to walk out of the lecture hall when:

"Dr. Banner," Luke walked up to Kitty and Bruce. "Can I have a word alone, please?"

"Can it wait?" Bruce asked as he glanced at his watch. "We were just-"

"It's about the questions on page 114." Luke nodded to the book in his hand. "It'll be fast, my girlfriend Lindy is waiting outside."

"I'll let you two talk." Kitty smiled at Bruce before leaving the room. A girl was standing outside, a cell phone in her hand. Her highlighted blonde hair was straightened and her blue eyes were lined with dark eyeliner.

"Hey." The girl smiled at Kitty. "I'm Lindy."

"Kitty. I'm Dr. Banner's-"

"Girlfriend." Lindy finished. She looked back down at her phone and started typing. "Yeah, I know. Everyone on campus is talking about you two. There's a Twitter thread with theories on why you're with him."

"Oh, great…" Kitty pressed her lips together and looked around at the empty hall.

"Don't get me wrong," Linda said quickly. "Dr. Banner is like, totally cute in the Matty-from-13-Going-On-30, nerd-with-glasses way, but like, you're hot." She looked Kitty up and down. "Victoria's Secret model hot. And he's an adorable nerd that looks like he could pick up a three, four maybe." She went back to texting. "Definitely not a ten."

Kitty was stunned at the girl's brashness. They stood there in the hall for several moments, the only sound was the tapping of Lindy's fake nails against her phone screen. Kitty crossed her arms over her chest and asked, "So, uh, how long have you and Luke been dating?"

"Oh, we're not, like, dating-dating." Lindy assured her swiftly. "You know how it is."

Kitty's eyebrows knit together. "Uh, no, not really."

"Well, I just agreed to go out on one date because I felt bad for him."

"Why?"

"Well," Lindy leaned in closer to Kitty and whispered, "He's kind of a nerd. Doesn't have any friends. Really sad." She straightened up and continued texting.

Inside the lecture hall, Bruce answered all of the boy's questions completely, but they seemed too simple for Luke to be worried over. Bruce's eyes flicked down to a peeling chemical burn on Luke's hand.

"Are you okay?"

"What, why?" Luke asked quickly.

Bruce pointed to the wound. "Your hand looks like it's burned pretty badly."

"Oh, yeah." Luke laughed. "My friends and I were watching 'Fight Club' and we tried the kiss burn."

Bruce shook his head and looked at Luke in disbelief. "Don't do that."

"Besides," Outside in the hall, Lindy smiled at Kitty. "If someone like you is dating someone like him," She nodded to the door, which opened at that moment. "Then maybe nerds are worth the social blow."

"Hey, Kitten," Bruce walked up and kissed her cheek. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," She turned to the college student. "It was great talking to you, Lindy." Kitty smiled and walked off with Bruce. Once they were in the car, Kitty finally blurted out, "I think there's something wrong with the kid."

"What?"

Kitty glanced away from the road to see Bruce's confused face. "I mean, like, probably nothing seriously wrong," She gripped the steering wheel tighter. "But he kinda gives me the creeps."

"Why?"

"Well, that girl he said was his girlfriend? Linda?"

Bruce nodded. "Yeah."

"She's not actually his girlfriend."

"So?"

"So?" Kitty squeaked. "So he lied!"

"And you've never told a lie?" Bruce asked pointedly.

"What? No, that's got nothing to do with this. And did you see the girl?" Kitty didn't wait for him to answer. "Blonde hair, blue eyes? Remind you of anyone?"

"So, the kid likes blondes." Bruce leaned closer to her and murmured, "Who doesn't?"

"I don't think he actually likes blondes."


	12. Every Rose Has It's Thorns

**Every** **Rose** **Has** **Its** **Thorns**... **And This One Just Happens To Have** **Posion**

Bruce opened up his bedroom door and walked straight for the closet.

"I looked up your superfan."

He stopped and looked over to see Kitty sitting on Bruce's bed, her legs crossed with an iPad in her lap. "Luke Giles…" She continued, making Bruce sigh. "He is a Freshman at the college you're teaching at," She looked up. "But you knew that already…Let's see…He's taking twenty credit hours, shit, is that even legal?"

Bruce shook his head and leaned against the door jam. "Why are you-"

"Ooh, look. He's got a Facebook...And aww, he dyed his blond hair black." She turned the iPad towards him. "To be more Bannery."

"So, he's got a role model." Bruce shrugged and asked, "What exactly is the problem?"

"The problem," Kitty got off the bed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Is that he's changing himself to be more like you. What if he tries to replicate other things?"

"Like what?" Bruce asked.

"Like the green guy thing?" Kitty said as if he was dumb. "He's read all your dissertations, he's taking high level courses. Oh, and did I mention that there's, like, six laboratories in New York that have been robbed in the last month? All missing lab equipment that can be used-"

"Or he's making Mr. Manhattan."

"Come on, Bruce," Kitty whined. "This ain't a joke!"

"Kitty," Bruce said softly. "He's just an excited kid, meeting his idol. It'll wear off."

Her face was as still as stone. "And if it doesn't, then what?"

* * *

The store had been abandoned for over a year; The owner couldn't make the payments on time, so the bank seized it. The bank didn't send anyone to take care of it so Luke Giles had taken up residence there. All of the housing money he got from his grants and scholarships were used to buy supplies for his experiments.

In the corner of the store, where the overstock was stored, was Luke's living quarters. An old Army cot was pressed against the wall, next to a rollable closet. The clothes, all modelled after his favorite Professor, were neat and pressed despite the less than average living conditions. But Luke kept it as clean as his experiments required as to not disturb the results. The rest of the store was full of medical and lab-grade equipment that Luke had 'procured'. They were whirling and buzzing and churning, even when Luke was at school. The room and equipment were divided in half; One side was for 'BL232' (the poison he was currently developing) and the other was for his more important experiment, 'HL16'.

Luke walked around carefully, making sure to avoid stepping anywhere where the equipment might be knocked over or bumped. He made precise notes in his charts before moving on to the next phase. It took several hours until he got the final stage of 'HL16'. A fluorescent green goo dripped steadily into a large beaker, pleasing Luke. He stopped the drip system and gently picked up the beaker, being careful not to spill a drop. He put the tip of a syringe in and slowly drew a full vile

"Aren't you just beautiful?" He whispered. Luke set it down and prepared a sterile environment before sitting down on his bed. On the small, rickety table next to his cot lay a IV kit and a notebook. Luke opened the notebook and wrote down, "Third attempt with HL16. Trying intravenous infusion."

He slid on a pair of gloves and broke open the sterile kit before he cleaned his arm. When it dried, he tied the latex-free tourniquet a few inches above the crook of his arm. Luke took a deep breath before he slid the needle into his vein. He released the tourniquet and taped down the catheter so he could remove the needle and hook up HL16. He twisted the top into the IV catheter and pushed down on the plunger. It took several long minutes for the thick goo to flow into the line in Luke's arm... it was the most agonizing minutes of Luke Gile's life.

* * *

"Steve," Kitty walked into the gym and stood in front of the treadmill. "I need to talk to you."

"Me?" Steve asked breathlessly. He slowed the treadmill to a stop and took the towel she handed him.

"Yeah, you," Kitty took his sweaty towel and handed him a bottle of water. She walked over to the laundry basket and got rid of the towel. "Who else?"

"Tony?" Steve sat down on a bench and opened the water. "Bruce, Deadpool, Natasha, Peter-"

"Okay, okay," Kitty held up one of her hands. "I get the picture, mom, we don't talk enough." She leaned against a beam and crossed her arms over her chest.

Steve waited for her to continue, but she stayed silent. "Kitty, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." Kitty said quietly. "Actually, no. No, I'm not okay." She sighed. "Bruce has a crazy fan and I'm worried that he's going to be a problem."

"Crazy how?"

She explained the times she'd spoken to him before she picked up an iPad and handed it to Steve. "Meet Luke Giles."

Steve carefully read through the file. "Biomedical engineering with a minor in chemistry…" He looked up at Kitty. "How old is this kid?"

"Not old enough to drink. Scroll down to the pictures."

Steve paused then stood up. "We need to take this to the table."

"So, I'm not overreacting?"

"No, I don't think so." An annoying ring cut through the air and Steve gave the iPad back. He fished out his phone and answered it with a professional, "Rogers."

Kitty watched as his face dropped.

"Is it contained? No, don't go inside...Let us figure a way in, you just keep the perimeter tight. We'll be there in fifteen minutes." He hung up and said, "JARVIS, tell everyone that they need to suit up and be ready to go in five minutes."

"Yes, Mr. Rogers."

"What's wrong?" Kitty asked as she hurried to catch with Steve's brisk pace to the elevator.

"Another poisoning." Steve pressed the button for the living room. "This time it's in a mall." He looked down at Kitty. "And it's airborne."

* * *

It was unanimously decided that taking one of Tony's planes would be faster than trying to fight New York traffic, so everyone climbed aboard and waiting for instruction.

Bruce Banner sat across from Kitty, his eyes glued to an iPad. He finally looked up with a grim expression and said, "I don't think air masks will work."

"What?" Clint asked.

Steve looked down at his own iPad, as if to see if his said the same thing Bruce's did. "Why not?"

"The strain is unpredictable." Bruce complained. "It may be able to be filtered without a problem, or it may-"

"Eat away at the gas masks." Tony finished.

"So, how do we get in there if we think air masks won't work?" Natasha asked.

Kitty dialed a number on her phone before raising it to her ear. "Okay," Everyone on the plane turned to look at her. "So I got some questions for you. One: Who is my favorite mercenary that I just happen to owe a round of tequila with? Correct! Second question: Who is going to meet me outside the West Egg Mall in five minutes?...No, try again...There you go! You are! See you then...Yes, I love you, too...Bye, bye." Kitty hung up and looked at the group. "There, gotcha covered."

"How so?"

"Deadpool goes in with mask." Kitty held up her own mask, which had her Special Forces Unit emblem. "He dies, mask doesn't work. He lives, masks work."

There was a stretch of silence before Clint said, "This may be one of the few plans I actually agree with."

Bruce was in his own little world, researching the strain on his iPad, and was completely ignoring his cell phone ringing. This was unfortunate for the rest of the gang, because after the eighth ring:

"Will you shut that damn thing off?"

"Just pick up your fucking phone!"

"Banner, phone. Now!"

Bruce fumbled as he fished out his cell phone and answered it. "Banner."

" _Hello, Dr._ _Banner_."

"Hello...Who is this?" Bruce asked.

" _It's_ _Luke_. _Luke_ _Giles_."

Bruce looked around and locked eyes with Kitty. He lowered the phone and put it on speakerphone. "Can I help you with something, Luke?"

" _I did_ _exactly_ _what_ _you_ _told_ _me_ _to_ , Dr. _Banner_."

Bruce paused. "And what is that exactly?"

" _I aerosolized_ _it_."

Bruce's tone was cautious, as if he was addressing a child who had cut their sibling's hair. "Aerosolized what, Luke?"

" _BL232_."

The ground looked around at each other with puzzled expressions.

" _Dr._ _Banner_ ," The voice on the phone sounded concerned. " _Are_ _you_ _still_ _there_?"

"Yes," Bruce said quickly. "Yes, I'm here. I was just trying to remember what BL232 was."

" _You_ _said_ _it_ _wasn't_ _very_ _interesting_." Bruce could almost see Luke's voice souring when he said this. " _So I kept working. The arcade version dried too fast and as you noticed, I was having a hard time keeping it contained. I'm sorry I had to lie about the burn on my hand, I just didn't want to admit that I messed up."_

"That's okay, Luke." He said slowly. "We all make mistakes."

Luke continued like he hadn't heard Bruce. " _But then you said aerosolizing-"_

"I was talking about perfume."

" _But_ _you_ -"

"Luke, where are you?"

He was immediately suspicious. " _Why_?"

Bruce saw Kitty motioning to keep him talking. "I want to see your notes." Kitty nodded enthusiastically. "I want to see your work."

" _Really_?" As expected, Luke's tone changed to excited.

"Yes. I can come to you, but I need to know where."

" _The mall over in West Eg_ g." Luke replied happily.

"Luke, do you have your notes with you?" Bruce asked.

" _Yes_ , _of_ _course_!"

"I'll be right there. Don't move, okay? Stay right there."

" _Okay_ , _Dr_. _Banner_!"

Kitty stared at her boyfriend as he hung up the phone.

"Don't." He warned.

Kitty took out her gun and check to make sure it was loaded. "We need to take care of him."

"You want to kill him." Bruce said.

"He's murdered all those people." Kitty pointed out the window. "He's a terrorist."

"He's just a kid!"

"So were they! They estimate fifty dead so far! Half of them were under eighteen." Kitty argued. "And what if one parent was shopping with the kids while the other was at work." This sobered the group. "He just destroyed families! That's a terrorist in my book. Or does it not matter because they aren't super smart Banner fans?"

"I looked him up, too, Kitty," Bruce said. "And he had an abusive father-"

"Not everyone with a bad home life becomes a serial killer." Kitty said harshly.

Bruce countered with, "You did."

Kitty's eyes flashed and plane quieted.

Steve finally broke the silence. "We catch him alive if possible. But I don't want any of you risking yourselves to do that, so if capturing him alive isn't how it goes…"

The plane landed and Kitty was the first off. Bruce followed and tried, "Kitten-"

"No." Kitty threw her hand up. "Don't touch me. Don't talk to me." She saw Deadpool over by the police blockade so she walked over. "Hey, Sarge."

"What's up with him?" Deadpool nodded to Bruce, who was standing with his hands in his pockets as he watched Kitty with a sad expression.

"He's in trouble." She said bluntly as she shoved the gas mask at him. "I need you to go in there and take a deep breath to make sure it's safe for us."

"Oh, yeah, send me in," Deadpool said dramatically. "I'm just the secondary character-"

Kitty interrupted him, "Do you want me to go in? Because if you're not, I'm next expendable on the team."

Deadpool quickly and silently put on the mask and walked through the police barricade to the mall. The rest of the Avengers joined Kitty in the wait for him. Two minutes later, he come out, the mask and clothes still intact. "It's still toxic without the masks, but it's okay with them."

"Thanks." Kitty smiled and playfully bumped his shoulder. "We'll meet up for drinks after and I'm spending the night at your place."

"That bad?" He asked her in a gossipy tone as he handed her the gas mask back.

Kitty ignored him and instead turned around to the team. "Tasha, Cap, let's go." She slid on the gas mask and made sure it was fastened correctly.

"Hey, hey, hey, hold the fuck up." Deadpool said. "You called me here, I'm here."

Kitty handed him another mask. "Okay."

"Tony, you, Clint, and Banner go to the South side. We'll take the North." Steve directed.

Everyone put on their gas masks.

Steve Rogers: "Checking coms."

Natasha Romanoff (to Kitty Vics): "Are you my mummy?"

Clint Barton: "Do I want to know why Kitty has her own personal gas mask?"

Kitty Vics: "Probably not."

Steve Rogers: "Keep in mind, with the masks on, we won't be able to turn the coms off and on. Everyone on the team will be able to hear everything you say from this point on, so keep it clean."

Deadpool: "That feels pointed as fuck, does anyone else think that sounded pointed as fuck?."

Tony Stark: "Everyone ready?"

Bruce Banner: "Yeah, I'm ready."

Kitty Vics: "I'm taking front lead. Sarge, you behind me?"

Deadpool: "Always, my beautiful angel."

Kitty took out her gun before heading for one of the side doors. With her left hand, she flung open the door so her and Wilson could file in. They let it slam behind them, the noise echoing through the hall. The hallway was smokey, but clear of baddies. "Clear so far." The door opened again and Natasha and Steve came in. "Guys," She said as they slowly walked down the corridor to the food court. "I gotta bad feeling' about this."

Deadpool: "Bad like LA, five years ago, or Cambodia bad?"

Tony Stark: "Anything wrong?"

Kitty shook her head. "No, not yet. Something just don't feel right. Watch your asses." She was first to get to the open area of the mall and the first to stop. "Oh, shit." The floor was littered with men, women, children, and everyone in between, all in various poses of distress. A woman was holding a child in her arms, trying to shield her from the poison pumped through the air vents. A man had almost made it to the corridor before he collapsed, his hand stretched towards safety. Kitty knew it was useless, but she bent down and pressed her fingers to his neck anyway.

Deadpool: "Oh, holy fucking shit."

Kitty Vics: "There's more than fifty dead right here."

Clint Barton: "Estimate?"

Kitty heard Steve gasp softly as him and Natasha reached the atrium. "At least twenty-five hundred, just here in the food court."

Deadpool: "They're fucking everywhere. Kids and moms and….everywhere."

Bruce Banner: "With the poison aerosolized, there's nothing that could have saved them. A few minutes in it and…"

He didn't need to finish for them to know.

Natasha Romanoff: "It looks like a Holocaust painting."

Steve Rogers: "Tony, we won't be able to keep a lid on this. It's too bad."

Tony Stark: "We'll worry about that later."

"We gotta keep going." Kitty reminded them. "We'll see if there's any survivors as we look for Giles."

Tony Stark: "Kit, no one got out. The police know that for sure. It's a graveyard, a crypt."

Bruce Banner: "There's not going to be any survivors, Kitty."

"We look for survivors." Kitty repeated forcefully. "And we watch our backs. Luke Giles is probably around here somewhere, getting off on this."

They tried to step around the bodies, but there were so many that they ended up stepping on hands and hair. Kitty tried to not think about it too much.

Steve Rogers: "We'll start looking in the stores. Kitty, take the first one there with Deadpool, Natasha and I'll work on the other side. We work down and we make sure it's 100% clear before we move on."

"Copy that." Kitty said. She walked into the colorful shop and her heart flopped. It was a toy shop where the patrons made stuffed animals with their friends and families. Over half of the people in the shop were little kids. A birthday party had been going on in the corner, leaving one child face first in the birthday cake and another had cut their cheek on the corner of a present box. Kitty diligently checked the pulses of each one, to no avail. Behind the front counter were workers slumped over each other, their eyes still open in shock.

Kitty swore loudly but the team ignored the profanity. She turned around and was about to leave when she heard a clanking sound. Kitty and Deadpool raised their weapons and pointed it at the sound. "Oh, SHIT!" She yelled. "WE'VE GOT A SURVIVOR, I REPEAT, WE'VE GOT A SURVIVOR!"

The little girl, around ten years old, had on a medical mask hooked up to an oxygen tank. Clutched in her hand was a brown teddy bear with stuffing popping out of its unsewn tummy. She sat next to her grandpa, a man with white hair and silver in his beard. The girl's other hand held on tight to her grandpa.

"Sarge," Kitty holstered his gun. "Watch my back."

The girl's dark eyes were wide with fear as Kitty bent down in front of the girl. Deadpool nodded and raised his gun, ready for anything.

Bruce Banner: "Where are you?"

"Uh," Kitty looked around. "Build-A-Bear, by the food court."

Clint Barton: "You've got a survivor?"

Bruce Banner: "I'll be right there."

"Hi," Kitty said softly. "Can you hear me?"

The girl nodded.

"My name is Kitty. What's yours?"

"Jyasha." The little girl whispered.

"I can't hear you through your mask, sweetie, can you talk a little louder?"

Clint Barton: "Please tell me it's not a child."

The girl nodded and clearly said, "Jyasha."

"Jyasha." Kitty smiled under the gas mask. "That's a pretty name." She pointed to the stuffed animal. "And what's your teddy bears name?"

The girl hugged it closer. "Donny."

Clint Barton: "Please tell me that the survivor isn't a child with a teddy bear."

"Donny." Kitty repeated. "I like that. It's fitting."

Jyasha's eyes teared up. "It's my papa's name," She looked over at the man next to her. "But he won't wake up."

"I'm going to check on your papa, then I'll check on you, okay?"

"Okay."

Kitty turned to the old man, who was obviously long dead. She still searched for a pulse on the old man, but unsurprisingly couldn't find one. Kitty took out the man's wallet and saw a military ID card, end of service being January, 1948. She glanced down at the little girl, terrified and still holding her grandfather's hand.

"Can I see Donny?" Deadpool asked. The girl silently held it out for him to take. The merc quickly found a needle and thread and started to carefully sew up the bear's tummy.

Meanwhile, Bruce jogged into the shop and over to Kitty and the girl. "Jyasha, this is my friend Bruce. He's a doctor. He's going to look you over, make sure you're okay. Then, he's going to take you out of here."

The girl silently nodded as Bruce set down an extra gas mask and kneeled down beside Kitty.

"Hello, Jyasha." Bruce smiled under his mask. "Can I look at your oxygen tank?"

"It's not mine."

"Who's tank is it?" Kitty asked softly.

"It's my papa's."

Bruce checked the top of the tank and swore. He looked away from the girl and murmured through the com, "Kitty, we've got to get the mask on her. She's a few minutes away from being out of oxygen. She's already breathing in bits of the poison."

Natasha Romanoff: "Shit."

Clint Barton: "Will someone please help that baby? As in now, right now."

"Hey, Jyasha," Kitty picked up the gas mask. "We're going to have you take off the oxygen mask and put on this mask-"

She immediately panicked. "No," Jyasha cried. "My papa said I can't take it off, he said no matter what happens I can't-"

Bruce Banner: "Kitty, she's hyperventilating, she's going through all the oxygen-"

"We're right here, Jyasha, we're going to help you." Kitty said in a calming voice. "Mr. Bruce is going to take off your oxygen mask as I put on the gas mask but I need you to hold your breath. You can't breathe in your nose or anythin'. Honey, can you do that for me?"

She nodded.

"We'll do it when you're ready. When you're ready, hold up your hand, okay?"

Kitty grabbed the gas mask and held it in position. The girl raised her hand and Bruce snatched the oxygen mask off. Once the gas mask was on the girl's face, Kitty started to adjust the straps. "You can breathe now, Jyasha."

The girl cautiously took in a breath.

Steve Rogers: "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's got the mask on." Kitty confirmed. "Bruce is going to take her outside to the medics. I'll keep going."

Bruce effortlessly picked the girl up. "Hold onto my neck but be careful of the mask."

The girl latched onto him and hooked her legs around his midsection. "Please don't drop me."

"I won't drop you." Bruce promised.

"Here's your teddy bear." Deadpool handed her the toy, now fixed and sewn up.

She clutched it to her chest and whispered, "Thank you."

"Okay, Sarge," Kitty took her gun back out. "You ready to keep going?"

"Always, Vicky."

They cleared seven stores, with no more survivors. It hurt Kitty, but she still had hope. One little girl had survived, so there had to be more...Right?

Tony Stark: "How's everyone doing?"

Kitty sighed and admitted, "No one yet."

Bruce Banner: "I got the girl out to the paramedics, they can't believe that the mask was secure enough to keep most of the poison out."

Steve Rogers: "Most."

Clint Barton: "Will she be okay because I really need to hear that she's ok?"

Bruce Banner: "She's got some lung damage, which might be permanent. It'll be the equivalent of asthma, she'll need an inhaler, but other than that, she should be fine."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Bruce Banner: "Her grandpa stuck his mask on her when he saw the others dying."

"He served in WWII." Kitty said softly.

Bruce Banner: "She said he told her it was mustard gas."

The com was quiet in an unspoken agreement for a moment of silence for the veteran.

Steve Rogers: "If he wasn't considered a hero before, he will be now."

Tony Stark: "I'll take care of it."

Natasha Romanoff: "What are the odds that she'll be okay mentally?"

"She'll never be okay." Kitty murmured as they cleared another shop.

"Ooh, Vicky, let's go into the nerd shop." Deadpool said excitedly. "It's free shit!"

Bruce Banner: "Deadpool, all of the stuff in this mall is permeated with the poison. It's the equivalent of Chernobyl."

"I'm still going in." Deadpool said stubbornly. The moment he walked into the shop, the mask was ripped from his face and he collapsed to the ground.

"Shit," Kitty ran across the courtyard, her gun in hand. "Wilson's down, I repeat, Wilson's down."

Steve Rogers: "Where are you?"

"That damn nerd store, across from Hot Topic." Kitty slowed down and peered into the store. Nothing but a slight fog.

Natasha Romanoff: "We're on the way, Vics."

Kitty cautiously walked into the store, her eyes darting around for the threat. He attacked from the left. She caught sight of him and raised her arm to block her face. Luke had armed himself with a sword that store was selling, the price tag still dangling down from the handle. It's dull blade sliced at her arm, but Kitty was too angry to notice.

"Did you just fucking come at me with Sting?" Kitty said in disbelief as Luke sized her up. She put her gun in its holster and drew her own sword as blood dripped down her arm. "You psychotic loser."

Steve Roger: "Kitty, we're almost there, stop antagonizing him."

"He just used Bilbo Baggins fucking sword to attack me." Kitty said in a breathless voice as she charged towards Luke. It was obvious that he had never handled a sword and she disarmed him quickly. "Oh, shit."

Steve and Natasha arrived just in time to see that Luke was practically vibrating with anger and his skin flickered green. Kitty popped open one of the utility pockets on her belt and withdrew a small metal ball. It was a last resort; Something that should only be used when the odds of the fight was stacked against her. Luke turned and immediately went to attack Natasha.

"Tasha!" Kitty rolled the ball over in her hand and she seemed to ripple before she disappeared. Now that she was invisible, Kitty took a running leap at Luke and landed on his back. He tried to shake off the unseen force, but Kitty jerked them back on the ground. Although he turned green, he didn't seem to have the size or strength as the Hulk. He scrambled to his feet and ran from the nerd store.

Kitty ran as fast as she could and followed Luke into a clothing store. She grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him to the ground. She turned the ball over in her hands and became visible. Luke looked up to see her standing over him, her gun pointed at his face. Her face was calm but her eyes held a burning anger in them. She had less than a minute before the rest would be there, leaving her less than a minute to make her choice. She could easily kill Luke right now. She could shoot him, but what she really wanted to do was to pull off his mask and expose him to the gas that killed so many. She bent down over him and smiled, her mind made up.

Kitty reached her arm back and pistol whipped Luke, knocking him out. She then handcuffed him, like good heroes do.

It took over an hour to get through the hordes of people waiting outside the mall, not counting the time it took for police to debrief them and formally arrest Luke. It was pitch black outside when everyone got back to the Tower. Kitty's goal was to shower, get some spare clothes, and stay at Deadpool's for a few days. She still wasn't really talking to Bruce, despite him having to sew up her arm.

"I'm sorry, Kitten." He tried as he carefully shoved the needle through her skin. Kitty didn't even wince, despite refusing pain medication and lidocaine. She just stayed still and quiet. "You were right about Luke."

"Hey, Kitty," Natasha stuck her head in the med bay. "How are you doing?"

"I'll live." She said with a small smile.

"It didn't cut down too deep, but the sword wasn't very sharp. It's more of a jagged cut, which means I had to even up the skin so it was smooth before I started sewing."

"Fun." Natasha said sarcastically. "You need gauntlets." She said to Kitty before continuing on her way.

"Are you almost done?" Kitty asked.

"I could go slower." Bruce smiled mischievously. "Then you'd have to stay here with me and eventually talk."

"Or I could sew it up myself. Or Deadpool. Or Tony. Or Steve-"

"Okay, okay," He resumed putting in the sutures. "I get it, Kitty. I messed up. I know that you didn't really see much of a choice-"

"See," Kitty stood up, despite Bruce not being finished. "That's where you're wrong. I didn't have a choice. You got away because you were smart. You went to school, you had grants and scholarships, just like Luke Giles. I didn't have any of that." She grabbed the suture kit and started to sew up her own arm, disturbing Bruce greatly. "I had three choices: Be homeless, fuck a rich guy despite being underage, or an Army recruiting station. I didn't ask to be a mercenary and they didn't give me an option for Special Forces. Out of those situations," Kitty finished the suture and grabbed the gauze from the table to wrap up her arm. "Do you think I made the right choice?"

Before he could answer, she walked out of the med bay. She took the elevator to the common room, her arm throbbing the entire time. Kitty fished out the ball from her belt and rubbed her thumb over the smooth metal. The problem with the ball was that it was like the One Ring from Lord of the Rings; Once you used it, it became an addiction. She stepped off to hear:

"Kitty," The tone of Steve's voice stopped Kitty from her beeline to the elevators. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Kitty bat her eyes innocently.

Tony's eyebrows drew together and he looked over at Steve questioningly.

"The invisibility cloak, Harry Potter," Clint said. Natasha had filled him in on her disappearing act earlier. "What do you think?"

"What the hell's going on?" Tony asked.

"She caught Luke by going invisible." Steve reported.

Tony crossed his arms over his chest and turned to Kitty. "You did what?"

Kitty tried to think quick. "Hobbits can pass by unseen by most if they so please?" She asked weakly.

Steve shook his head. "Try again."

Kitty went for complete denial. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"He's probably talking about whatever metal thing you have in your hands." Tony suggested with a nod to her hand.

She held out her right hand for them to see. "Nothing. All empty."

Clint jerked towards her left hand, but Kitty flicked the ball over and disappeared. They looked around madly until they saw her by the elevators.

"Look, I'm real tired and would love to stay and discuss the amount of trouble I'm in," She pressed the call button for the lift. "But Imma go have drinks with Deadpool." She stepped into the elevator and waved as it shut. "Bye-bye."


	13. Bruce's Apology

**Oh, Shit, What Was This Chapter About Again? Oh, Yes. Bruce's Apology**

Bruce hadn't seen Kitty for a week. He had hoped that giving her a few days to calm down would help, but she wasn't answering his calls or texts since she left to stay at Deadpool's. He found out that she had passed off her patrols to Natasha and Clint and that she was pretty well off the radar. Deadpool would answer the phone, say a variation of 'Fuck off', and hang up. So, when the week was up, Bruce confronted them at Deadpool's apartment. It was ten in the morning, so Bruce figured that they were awake. He was wrong.

 _Knock knock knock_

He could hear a female voice groan.

Someone yelled, "What fresh hell is that banging?!"

A male voice, slightly higher than Deadpool's said, "Make it stoooop!"

 _thumpthumpthumpthumpCRASH_

"¡Rápido, esconde las armas!"

 _Crashcrushcrushbang_

"¡Y la mala hierba!"

Bruce considered telling them that it was him and not the police, then thought better of it. If he identified himself, he was sure that Kitty would have magically disappeared and would not be home. That much he was right about.

The door swung open to reveal that all of Deadpool's apartment was decked out in a frat boy's wet dream. There were three huge flat screen TVs, all hooked up to various game systems, candy and junk food littering the floor. Also, there was enough Red Bull and Monster to keep his entire science department awake for finals. A pinball machine and a snack vending machine (a coin glued to a string dangled at its side) sat in the corner next to a pool table.

Standing in the doorway was Peter Parker. "Oh, hey, Dr. Banner!"

"It's Bruce." He reminded as he tried to get a better look inside. "Is Kitty here?"

Peter closed the door a bit and glanced over his shoulder. "Uhh…" He turned to Bruce. "No. No she's not."

"Oh, she's not here?"

Peter shook his head. "Nope, sorry you came all this way-"

"Why's her beretta on the pool table?" Bruce asked. He watched as a small, pale hand snaked its way from under the table to slowly take the gun. "Kitty, will you just please come out and talk to me like an adult?"

"Sorry, I failed Adult 101," Kitty poked her head out from under the pool table. "And I don't think my GI Bill covers it-"

"Kitten, please?"

Kitty sighed and crawled out from her hidey hole.

"Wow!" Peter exclaimed. "Kitty! When did YOU get here?"

"Nice try, Petey." Kitty messed with his hair as she walked past him to the hallway. "Can you shut the door so we can have some privacy?"

"Yeah, sure, ok." Peter nodded as started to shut it.

"And tell Wilson to stop with the damn glass pressed to the wall shit." Kitty yelled loud enough for Deadpool to hear.

"Gotcha, no glass on door." Peter confirmed and left her and Bruce alone in the hall.

"Wait, Kitten," Bruce said as her mouth started to open. "Please let me go first." Kitty nodded. "You're right. I never considered that you didn't have a choice. I always thought that you had chosen the Army and that when they offered you Special Forces that you took it because you wanted to. I didn't know that they never gave you a choice and I forget that you were just a kid when it all happened. And I'm sorry, Kitten. I love you."

Kitty was about to respond when they heard a faint 'awh!' and then a shushing sound coming from behind the door. They both looked at the door before laughing.


	14. Date Night

**Date Night**

Bruce strolled into the living room, where Kitty was typing madly on a laptop. "Hey," He tried looking over her shoulder, but the screen was a mess of numbers. "What are you up to?"

"Plotting my domination for the world." Kitty muttered, her eyes still glued to the screen.

Bruce seemed unfazed as he said, "Okay, cool. What do you want for dinner?"

A half hour later, they were seated at a table in a Thai restaurant, surrounded by other couples and families. Kitty had just gone to the bathroom when two teenagers approached Bruce. They looked about sixteen or seventeen and were obviously awkward. One was wearing a shirt that said, "The Cake Is A Lie", while the other's tee just had a Periodic Table of Elements on it.

"So," Nerd #1 looked Bruce in the eyes and asked, "Are you rich?"

Bruce Banner's eyebrows furrowed and he started tearing a napkin into small pieces. "Excuse me?"

Nerd #2 huffed impatiently. "Do you have a lot of money?"

"Look, kid," Bruce said. "If you're trying to rob me-"

"No, no." Nerd #2 cut him off. "We just-"

"We're like you." Nerd #1 finished. He waved his hand towards Bruce, who raised his eyebrows. "You know, nerds!"

"And we were, uh, we were trying to figure out how a nerd gets a girl like that." Nerd #2 nodded to where Kitty had left.

"How'd you get the prom queen, man?"

"Oh. Uhh…" Bruce blinked rapidly as the realization hit him. "I, I don't know how."

When Kitty came back, there were three people sitting at the table rather than one. Bruce looked up at her with wide, worried eyes and asked, "Why are you with me?"

"Uh, because we decided that neither of us wanted to do the dishes tonight?" Kitty asked with a confused glance at the two teens.

"No, like, in general." Bruce clarified.

"We need to know why you're going out with a nerd?" Nerd #2 spoke up, causing the other two males to nod in agreement.  
"I'm sorry," Kitty fluttered her hand at the boys. "Do we know them?"

"They were me in high school," Bruce explained. "And all three of us would like to know why someone as pretty-"

Nerd #1 chimed in, "Perfect."

"Hot." Nerd #2 added.

"That, too." Bruce pointed to the boys. "Is with someone like me?"

"Because I like tall, dark haired dorks?" Kitty shrugged and pulled up a chair. "How the hell should I know?"

Nerd #1 turned to his friend and said, "We gotta grow taller."

Nerd #2 pointed at Nerd #1's mousy blond hair. "You've got to dye your hair."

"Guys, guys," Kitty held up her hands. "You don't have to change yourself because one person tends to like a certain hair color or body type."

"We do if we want someone like you." Nerd #2 argued.

"Christie Brinkley married Billy Joel." Kitty pointed out as a waiter brought over their food.

Both nerds looked down at the table, considering this information.

Bruce nodded. "As long as you're not an asshole and treat women with respect-"

"Without expecting sex," She added, pointing her spoon at the boys.

"You'll do fine." Bruce finished.

* * *

Later that night, when they were laying in Kitty's bed with the television on. '13 Going On 30' played softly in the background as Kitty dozed off.

"Kitten."

"Hmm?" Kitty asked, her eyes still closed as she snuggled further on his chest.

"Are you dating me because you have a crush on Mark Ruffalo?"

Kitty's eyes snapped open and she craned her head to look up at him. "No." She touched his cheek and said, "If I wanted to date Mark Ruffalo," Her mouth curled into a devilish smile. "I'd go date Mark Ruffalo."

Bruce smiled and she laid her head back down on his chest. "I think he's married with, like, three kids."

"Did I fucking stutter?" Kitty asked. She looked up at him in the little bit of light from the tv. She moved so she was on his lap and slowly kissed him.

The kiss became heated and soon, Bruce's hands were lifting up the edge of her shirt. His fingers brushed over oddly smooth, tight skin and he paused. "Wait," He tried to get a better look at her back, but Kitty edged herself so he couldn't. "What are those?"

"Scars." She answered bluntly before continuing to kiss him. Kitty tangled her fingers in his hair and heard him moan before he pulled her closer to him.

"Scars," Bruce breathed as she set to unbuttoning his shirt. He moved his hands down her back and felt more of the wounds. "Kitty, wait."

"What?" Kitty whispered in his ear before taking his ear lobe between her teeth. The edges of her mouth turned up when Bruce shuddered and started breathing harder. His skin seemed to grow hotter under her touch. She shucked his shirt off and took to working his pants off.

"But where did they-"

"Think real hard before you ask that question, Bruce Banner." She felt his fingers gently sweeping over the roadmap of scars and she tried to ignore the sharp pain radiating from them. A minute passed before:

"Did they hurt-"

"Goddamnit, Bruce." Kitty growled as she got up and snached her shirt from under his leg.

Bruce was shocked at the sudden end of their makeout session and watched as she slipped her shirt on. "Wait, Kitten, what's wrong?"

Kitty crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at Bruce. "Why do you want to know about the scars?" She asked cooly.

"I was just curious," Bruce sat up and started buttoning up his shirt. "There's so many of them, most feel deep, maybe muscular, and judging by the shape, it suggests a blade about the size of a butcher's-"

Kitty shook her head. "You really know how to break the mood, Banner."


	15. The Phantom Of The Opera

**The Phantom of the Opera**

"Okay, everyone." Tony began as he strolled into the living room, where most of the Avengers were hanging around. "I am now officially taking suggestions for the fundraiser."

Kitty, who was sitting with her legs on Bruce's lap, raised her hand.

"Yes, Kit," Tony rubbed his forehead. "Yes, you have to come."

She slowly lowered her hand.

"Let's do something casual." Clint suggested. "T-shirts, jeans, rock music-"

"I don't think that's what Tony was getting at." Steve said pointedly.

"Why not?" Kitty asked. "Taco Bell, Starbucks-"

"In-N-Out." Natasha chimed in. "I'm sure we could get them to come out here for the great Tony Stark."

"And In-N-Out could all cater-"

"Okay, everyone! I am now officially NOT taking suggestions for the fundraiser, thank you for playing the game…" He turned around and started to walk out.

"Come back!"

"Yeah, we're sorry."

"We'll be good," Kitty grabbed Tony's arm and smiled. "I promise."

Tony paused, then turned to face them. "I really need to get this decided."

"When's it going to be?" Natasha asked.

Tony sank into a chair and said, "I was hoping around Halloween."

"Costume party?" Clint asked.

"It's got to be black tie-"

Natasha smiled at Kitty and suggested, "Masquerade ball?"

Kitty's eye lit up with excitement. "Ooh! Phantom of the Opera masquerade!"

"Everyone wears black and white…"

Kitty looked up at Tony and said, "I would attend the fuck outta that."

"I guess it's decided then." Tony announced with a smile.

* * *

"Hey, love?" Kitty called from behind the shut door. "Can you come lace me up?"

Bruce finished buttoning his shirt as he walked to the closet and opened the door. Kitty stood in the room in a pair of leggings and a shirt with a white corset on over it. "You need me to do what now?"

She held up a long piece of cording. "Just lace this through like a shoelace and pull it tight enough that the shirt doesn't show."

"Seven doctorates. I can do this." He muttered to himself. Bruce concentrated on carefully weaving the cord through the hooks until it laced up her back. "Now what?"

"Now, starting at the bottom, pull it tight and work the strings up." Kitty directed as she looked over her shoulder at his frightened face.

"Won't that hurt?"

Kitty laughed. "Just pull."

"Okay…" Bruce said with uncertainty as he tugged on the laces. "More?"

"Just keep going until I say to stop." Kitty took a deep breath as Bruce yanked on the strings. Finally, after a lot of protesting from Bruce, she was tight-laced enough to put on the skirt and bodice. "And zip."

Bruce zipped and fastened the back of the bodice and watched as Kitty slowly turned around. The gown was an off white, creme color that seemed to glow from the contrast of Kitty's pale skin. The full skirt had layers delicately pulled up on each side, paired with an off the shoulder bodice.

"Whatcha think?" Kitty asked, holding up a silver Venetian mask set with rubies.

"Absolutely stunning." Bruce said as he laced his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. "What are you going to do about," He kissed her jaw, then her neck, then finally the raw scar on her throat. "That?"

Kitty took a step forward and touched her neck. "What do you mean?"

"Oh," Bruce's eyes widened. "Nothing, I just, uh, thought maybe you wouldn't want it to show that much."

Kitty walked over to the mirror and stared at her reflection. Although mostly healed, the scar remained painfully obvious. She sighed as she reached over and grabbed a red ribbon from her clothes bureau. She quickly tied it around her neck so her scar was covered.

* * *

Tony had rented out one of the oldest theaters in New York and had it decorated in a way that would not look out of place in 1880's Paris. The theater was bathed in candlelight, which flickered and bounced off the walls. It had taken both Tony and Kitty (who helped with the planning) many hours to convince the theater's owners and the fire department that the candles were necessary. Finally, they settled on having the fire department and their ladder truck parked behind the theater and Kitty had recruited one of Charles Xavier's students to help control the flames.

It didn't take long for word to spread about a 'Phantom of the Opera' themed fundraiser; The phones in the Tower had been ringing nonstop, people begging for invitations, pledges of donations. By the second week of planning, the pledges were twice what they had gotten last year. So, it was with this proudness that Tony and Kitty threw a most extravagant event. The wait staff were polished, with every person wearing the same black and white suits and masks, regardless of gender or sex. The orchestra took up the entire right side of the stage in the large ballroom, the musicians matching the wait staff in attire. The music was entirely instrumental, ranging in tone from light and airy to dark and melancholy, all perfect to mingle to.

The atmosphere was specially crafted to border mysterious and alluring. Kitty Vics and Tony Stark stood near the staircase as they greeted the guests walking in. By the third wave, Kitty was tired of pretending to be interested in the trivial things these people wanted to discuss. But she stayed loyally with Tony, who looked as if he was having a much better time than her.

"So," She leaned in closer to Tony, a fake smile plastered on her face as her eyes stayed on whatever guest approached them. "That man's voice sounds really familiar."

"It should." Tony shook someone's hand. "It's Ewan McGregor."

Kitty's eyes widened and she turned to stare at Tony. "No! Obi Wan Kenobi….."

"Uhmh." Tony confirmed.

Kitty started looking around the ballroom of masks. "I gotta go talk to him."

"No." Tony took hold of Kitty's forearm just as she started to wander off. "You're staying right here where I can keep an eye on you."

"But, I just wanted to-"

"To bug one of my guests." Tony finished.

"I just wanted to ask him some continuity questions on the Star Wars prequels."

* * *

Logan, also known as the Wolverine, caught sight of the dark haired witch as she strolled into the building. The woman glanced at him over her shoulder and winked before sashaying away.

He ran towards the entrance, only to be halted by an attendant.

"Sir," The man held out his hand to stop him. "You must be in the appropriate attire and have an invitation to enter the party."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Just let me in."

"I am sorry, sir, but you cannot attend this event." The attendant moved in front of the door.

"Call Stark." Logan suggested with a nod to the door. "He knows me."

The attendant's eyes raked over Logan and he scoffed. "Sure, buddy."

"Look," Logan growled. "Someone bad is in there-"

"Then he must have had an appropriate outfit and an invitation." The attendant finished. Logan engaged his claws and glared at the man. "Perhaps you've misplaced your invitation and attire? I'm certain there is something we can find for you."

The attendant, whose name was Owen, led Logan to a dressing room deep in the theater. After several minutes of digging around, Owen found a suit in a garment bag. He hung the bag on a rack and dramatically unzipped it to reveal a blood red suit.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Logan said.

"It's from when we performed the Phantom of the Opera." Owen beamed proudly, his voice smug with his arms crossed over his chest.

"There's a cape." Logan complained as he touched the material.

"Well sir," Owen shrugged and started to zip the bag back up. "It doesn't bother me if you don't get in to the social event of the season." He plucked the hanger off the rack and turned around.

"Fine." Logan sighed, making Owen stop and smile. "I'll try the damn thing on."

"Oh, I am sorry, sir, but there is no smoking." Owen plucked the cigar from Logan's mouth and put it out. "It'll just ruin the suit."

"That won't be the only thing ruined."

Owen handed him the pants and shirt and sat down on a chair while Logan changed behind a screen. He came out and Owen said, "Well, it's quite becoming on you."

Logan turned to face the mirror and groaned. "There's gold crap," He picked at the trim on the shirt. "It's ridiculous."

"It is not ridiculous!" Owen chided, his voice shrill. "But your hair doesn't match. I have some fantastic pomade-"

"You're not touching my hair." Logan argued firmly.

"Fine, fine, keep the inappropriate hair, what do I know?" The attendant gave Logan a pair of black leather boots and both sat back down. "So, who's in there?"

"What?" Logan asked as he laced up the boots.

"Who is in that party that's got a burly man like you all dressed up?"

"You're the one making me get dressed up." Logan reminded him. "Besides, I'm chasing a bad guy, remember?"

"No," Owen shook his head slyly. "No, that's not it at all." He smiled and pointed at the door. "There's someone in there that's got you all fired up enough to wear those fabulous boots."

"Just grab me the damn coat." Logan ordered.

The attendant obliged and helped Logan shrug on the red, double breasted jacket. "Is she pretty?"

"Now I know why they've got you manning doors." Logan started buttoning up the coat.

"Is she blonde?"

Logan stopped and looked up at Owen. "What?"

The edges of Owen's mouth twitched up in a sly smile. "There's a blonde in there wearing Christine's dress from the end of the play." He nodded towards the door. "Drop dead gorgeous, looks like an angel-"

"Swears like a sailor?" Logan finished with a half smile

"You've met Stark's daughter?" Owen asked with his eyebrows arched knowingly.

"Yeah." Logan finished buttoning the coat and straightened up. "We've worked together a couple times."

Owen crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall as Logan inspected himself in the mirror. "Well. If I was going to risk sneaking in, uninvited, into a party full of Mutants, celebrities, and superheroes, some quite dashing," He met Logan's eyes in the mirror. "I'd have a much better reason than 'there's a bad guy in there'."

Logan started fussing with the cuff on his right sleeve. "She still got that nerdy looking guy following her around?"

"Do you blame him?" Owen asked cattily.

"No." Logan shook his head. "Not really."

Owen pressed his lips together and walked over to a vanity set. "Here's the mask."

"I'm not wearing the mask."

"It's a masquerade." Owen reminded him stubbornly. "No mask, no admittance."

"Fine." Logan hissed as he took the mask and tied it around his face.

"What are the odds?" Owen asked himself quietly.

"What?"

"I was told a week ago to get rid of the costume, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It just felt…" Owen paused. "Wrong. But now you've got it and your Christine is out there, just waiting for you."

"She's not my Christine."

The attendant opened the door for Logan and said, "Give her time..."

"Thanks." Logan said. "For the suit and everything. I'll bring it back-"

"Oh honey no, keep it." Owen insisted.

Logan nodded once and walked out the door into the dark corridor.

"And, Sir!"

Logan turned around.

"Everyone gets the Phantom wrong you know. They think he was a crazy murderer who tormented Christine, but really," Owen smiled. "The Phantom was just a man in love with a woman he thought he'd never get to have. The only difference between you and him is that he went about it the wrong way while you have a choice. Give her time. The other guy won't last long then she'll be your Christine."

* * *

"Wow, you really go full out!" A woman complimented as she lavishly fanned herself with a feather.

"It's all for a good cause." Tony Stark assured her.

She closed the fan and leaned closer to Tony and Kitty before gushing, "So who is the delicious Phantom?"

"The who?" Tony asked, his face blank.

The woman used her fan to point to a man in a red suit, jogging down the staircase.

"Kit?" Tony asked, his eyes still locked on the Phantom.

Kitty glanced up at Tony as the woman left their side. "Why're you asking me?"

"If there's a party crasher, you're usually in some way involved." Tony pointed out.

The woman they had been talking to strolled up to the Phantom, only to be ignored by him. She touched her hand to her chest at the offense and turned away sharply, off to find a new target.

"I swear, dad," Kitty shook her head as the Phantom ran up to them. "It's not me."

"Kitty." Logan took off his mask. His eyes widened and he appeared slightly taken aback by her angelic appearance.

"Goddamnit." She swore as she ripped off her own mask. "Why is it always me? I just told Stark it wasn't me!"

"What?" Logan asked, the trance shattered.

"Logan, why are you the Phantom?" Kitty asked him as she touched his red and gold lapel.

He looked down at her hand on his chest and said, "The door guy wouldn't let me in unless I wore this."

"Somehow that leads to more questions." Tony said. "Like 'why are you crashing my party' and 'who do I have to fire?'"

"Don't blame him." Logan rolled his eyes. "The Black Queen is here and I have to stop her."

"The what now?" Kitty asked.

"The Black Queen," Logan explained patiently. "She's a witch who hates me and will do anything she can to fuck with me."

"So she brought you here? Why?" Kitty's eyes still lingered on Logan in the Phantom suit. She had to admit, it served as very nice eye candy.

"Something tells me it's nothing good." Logan noticed that Kitty hadn't actually looked away from him since he walked up. He felt a sense of accomplishment at that.

"Handle it." Tony growled. Kitty turned to walk off with Logan, but Tony grabbed her arm, making the Wolverine's head whip around. "Discreetly. Please." He added.

Kitty nodded and took Logan's hand. "Come on, let's find Natasha and Barton." He obliged without complaint and simply followed after her.

Natasha stood next to a short, plump man, whom she was discussing a recent political maneuver with. She looked up to see Kitty and (more surprisingly) Logan hurrying towards her. "If you'll excuse me."

The man bowed his head and left her.

"Kitty," Natasha got a good look at the blonde's flushed face. "What's wrong, what happened?"

"Where's Barton?" Kitty asked.

"Over there." Natasha nodded her head towards the drink table.

"Come on." Kitty grabbed Natasha's hand and led both towards Clint. "Logan, explain."

"There's a woman here named the Black Queen. She hates me and has the power to really fuck this place up." Logan was direct and to the point. "I don't know what she has planned, but it's probably going to be bad."

"I've only got two," Kitty withdrew two ear pieces from her tiny wrist purse and handed one to Natasha. "So we'll go in pairs."

"What does she look like?" Clint asked.

Logan struggled to describe her. "Tall, dark hair-"

"Is she hot?"

Logan saw Kitty look down and he quickly said, "Not my type. But she's a real witch, so be careful."

Kitty took a deep breath. "We'll take the east perimeter-"

"We have the west, then." Natasha confirmed as her and Barton took off.

"Checking the com system." Kitty said once Natasha was out of sight.

Natasha Romanoff: "Can hear you, loud and clear."

Kitty turned to Logan and smiled. "Let's go get us a witch."

* * *

Bruce Banner searched for Kitty in the large ballroom, but was unable to find her. It should have been easy to spot her: Most of the guests were in dark suits or gowns, yet he still found no trace of her. He walked up to Tony and could swear he saw Stark roll his eyes. He motioned for Bruce to follow him to a secluded spot.

"Have you seen Kitty?" Bruce asked.

Tony decided to go for vagueness. "She had to handle something."

"Something?"

"A...Security breach."

* * *

"Thanks, by the way."

"For what?" Logan asked.

"I was dying in there." Kitty said dramatically. "So boring! All talking about stocks and bonds and how they think the problems in whatever country will play out. This is much more interesting."

"We're hunting a witch that has the power to kill us all," Logan reminded her. "And you're excited because it's fun?"

"Well," Kitty shrugged. "Yeah."

Logan couldn't help but smile. The conversation died out and Logan tried to find something to say… "What happened to your throat?" Logan pointed to the scar on Kitty's neck.

"Oh, uh, a man slit my throat." Kitty readjusted the ribbon so it covered her throat better. "Is it okay, or-"

"Yeah, it's fine." Logan said quickly as they fought their way through the hordes of people. "The necklace looks like it's uncomfortable, though."

Kitty laughed quietly. "That's because it is. I don't like tight things around my neck. Feels like a noose." They walked through a set of French doors leading outside and the cool air nipped at Kitty's exposed shoulders.

"Then why are you wearing it?" Logan asked curiously.

"Bruce, uh," Kitty slowed down, making Logan turned around. She was standing still, her eyes cast downwards. "It's really noticeable and I wanted to look pretty in my dress and for him, so I tied a ribbon-"

Logan simply said, "Say it's part of your costume."

"What?"

"Say it's makeup." Logan stepped close to Kitty and gently untied the ribbon. "We'll just tell anyone who asks that the Phantom did it." He looped it around her wrist and tied it in a bow.

"It doesn't look too...Ugly?"

Logan shook his head and they started walking again. "I don't think you could ever look ugly."

"So, why's this witch hate you so much?" They walked up to a locked gate blocking the perimeter. "Is she, uh, she an ex?" She met Logan's eyes as he wrapped his hands around Kitty's waist. With the corset on, his fingers completely overlapped. He easily lifted her up over the barrier and carefully lowered her down.

"What?" Logan put his hands on the barrier and jumped over, making his cape ripple behind him. "No. She's mad because she can't kill me. And I'm not interested."

They turned a corner and Kitty started walking backwards so she could face Logan. "So it's because you won't date her," She smiled knowingly. "Gotcha." She turned back around and Logan stared at what little skin showed. Her skin, offset by the creme gown, seemed to glow in the moonlight.

"Why?"

Kitty glanced over her shoulder. "I mean, if it's a couples spat, I don't want to get involved."

"Speaking of couples," Logan hoped he sounded nonchalant as he said, "Heard you and Banner are together."

Kitty stiffened and pressed her lips together. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Isn't he a little nerdy for you?"

Kitty's eyes flicked to him. "Are you sayin' he's too smart for me?" She asked darkly.

"No," Logan shook his head. "I'm saying you're too smart for him."

Kitty laughed. "Yeah. Right."

"No, I mean it." Logan instisted.

"Ya know," Kitty paused and crossed her arms over her chest, making Logan stop. "Some of the stuff he says goes so far over my head that I can barely understand when he tries to dumb it down. And by then, he's frustrated that I don't get it and I'm frustrated because he makes watching a movie complicated." Kitty sighed. "Sorry, I know I'm ranting-"

"It's okay." There was a stretch of silence before he asked, "What movie was it?"

"Van Helsing. I was just watching it for Kate Beckinsale and because I heard that there's a very naked Hugh Jackman-" Kitty's eyes flicked down Logan's body. "Nevermind." She used her earpiece to say, "East corridor and balcony are clear. How's the west side look?"

No response.

"Natasha? Are you there?" Kitty locked eyes with Logan and her voice became authoritative, "Romanoff, come in. I repeat, Romanoff, come in."

"Let's go." Logan, without much thought, grabbed Kitty's hand.

They were running across the balcony one moment; Another, they were in the ballroom front of a woman Kitty correctly assumed as the Black Queen.

Kitty felt lightheaded from the sudden change of venue. "Imma be sick." She looked up and saw that the Queen was wearing a black ball gown with intricate beading on the bodice that resembled flowers. Rather than a mask covering the woman's fine features, she had carefully painted black scrolls around her eyes.

"Selene." Logan said emotionlessly.

"Wolverine." The Black Queen's voice held disgust as she looked Logan over. Her eyes flirted to Kitty and she smiled. "Hell-lo, Barbie." She purred.

Kitty turned to Logan. "I can see why you won't go out with her."

"Is that why you think I'm doing this?" The Queen appeared offended. "Because he won't go out with me?"

"Yeah," Kitty nodded slowly. "Little bit."

"You throw this fabulous party and didn't invite me, and now you insult me!" The Black Queen complained.

"You," Kitty's eyebrows drew together in disbelief. "You're doing this because you didn't get an invitation?"

"No, my beautiful sweetheart." The Black Queen caressed Kitty's cheek. She saw Logan jerk forward and she smiled. "I'm doing this because it's fun."

"Fun's over." Logan said firmly. "They're not involved."

"Oh, but they are now!" The Black Queen strolled over to the stage. An old time microphone had appeared for the Queen to take. "Do you all know what would make this ball more fun?" She smiled sweetly. "A lover's dance." She waved her hand towards the musicians. "Orchestra, please."

The Queen blew a kiss to Kitty then said into the microphone, "Now, now. This is for all the lovers out there. I want you to dance as if you've never danced before! And just maybe," She smiled at Logan. "You'll never stop."

The Black Queen snapped her fingers and the atmosphere changed. People around the room started dancing and the Queen watched as Kitty turned to Logan. He put his mask back on as he slowly walked up to her and the Black Queen cocked her head to the side. "No, no," She pointed to the two. "That's not right."

She glanced over her left shoulder and saw Tony and Steve slow dancing. "Now that's right." The Queen looked back at Kitty and Logan. "That shouldn't be right."

Logan brushed his fingers against Kitty's lips as her eyes slid shut. "In your mind, you've already succumbed to me." He sung in a deep, throaty voice. "Dropped all your defenses, completely succumbed to me. Now you are here with me, no second thoughts." He leaned closer and murmured in her ear, "You've decided."

He grabbed Kitty's hand and twirled her around. Her face flushed as Logan pulled her tight against his chest. "What sweet seduction lies before us, past the point of no return. What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn, beyond the point of no return."

"You have brought me to that moment where words run dry." Kitty's voice was sweet and soft as she gently removed his mask. She ran her thumb over his cheekbone and he covered her hand with his. "I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why. In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining, defenseless and silent. And now I am here with you, no second thoughts." Her eyes flicked down to Logan's lips and she leaned closer. "I've decided."

The Black Queen watched as they leaned in to kiss before she said, "Oh, no, no, no. There will be no happily ever afters. Not for him." She snapped her fingers and the spell wore off, leaving everyone dazed and in various states of dizziness.

Kitty blinked rapidly, trying to figure out where she was. Several steps away stood Logan, who was looking at Kitty with concern.

"Kitty?"

"Logan?" She looked him up and down and asked, "What are you doing here? And what's up with the cape?"

Logan took a deep breath before quietly asking, "You don't remember that?"

"Remember what?"

"The Black Queen. Spell. Singing." Logan stepped closer to Kitty. "Any of this ring a bell?"

Kitty's eyebrows drew together and she suddenly looked angry. "Are you drunk?" She asked harshly, her face just mear inches from his. "This fundraiser is really important to Tony and I know you don't care about anyone besides yourself but he worked really hard-"

"Just forget it." Logan turned around and walked walking through the crowd.

Guilt ran through Kitty as well as something stronger. It felt like she was missing something important; Like a part of her had been ripped away and she could only taste small pieces. She went to rub her neck when she noticed that in her hand was his mask. "Wait, Logan!"

The Black Queen watched as Logan purposely bumped into Bruce Banner before leaving the ball. She smiled and made eye contact with Kitty before disappearing.


	16. War Criminal

**War Criminal**

Kitty and Deadpool walked into the kitchen, only to stop abruptly. Tony, Steve, and Clint were sitting at the table, obviously waiting for her.

"Hey, guys, is this an intervention?" Kitty smiled hesitantly. She slowly eased into the room, taking note of her surroundings. Tony looked tired as he sat next to Steve, who was obviously frustrated. Clint almost looked happy, which meant bad news for Kitty.

"Is there something you'd like to share with us, Kitty?" Tony asked.

Kitty pressed her lips together and racked her brain. "Uh, I forgot to buy milk yesterday?"

"Try again." Tony suggested with a straight face.

"Okay, I'm at a loss here." Kitty admitted as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned with her back against the wall.

"Maybe that you're a war criminal?"

Both Deadpool and Kitty asked, "What?"

"It says you're wanted in Germany for," Clint looked down at an iPad and read off, "Crimes committed against the Crown."

Steve stood up and handed Kitty the device. She looked down and was crestfallen to see that it was a warrant in German. "It's calling for your immediate arrest, should you ever return to Germany."

"Oh, shit." Kitty looked up and shook her head. "This ain't what it looks like."

"Really?" Steve asked with raised eyebrows.

"Because it looks like a mercenary thing." Tony snapped.

Looking at Kitty, Deadpool asked, "When did we go to Germany?"

Kitty handed the iPad over to Deadpool, who attempted to read the foreign script. "It's not, dad," She insisted. "I swear."

Clint scoffed. "And we're supposed to believe that?"

"Shut up, Barton, before I call your wife." Kitty threatened as she pointed at the sandy blond.

"Kitty," Steve took a deep breath. "What did you do?"

"Apparently, I committed unspecified crimes against the bloody Crown." Kitty sassed.

"Is this about the-" Deadpool asked Kitty.

"Yes." Kitty said shortly, hoping to cut off his question.

Deadpool nodded softly. "Oh."

Steve narrowed his eyes at the two mercenaries. "What?"

"I had a...Disagreement with one of the royal family members." Kitty divulged. She was quick to add, "But I didn't shoot or kill any of them and it was, like, three years ago!"

"Obviously someone still feels personal about it." Steve sat back down and glanced at Tony. His eyes flicked down to the table and he quietly said, "I believe you."

"Thank you." Kitty breathed a sigh of relief. It still looked as though Tony didn't believe her, and Clint most certainly was not buying it.

"Explain it then." Tony requested.

Kitty paused. "Uh…I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's none of your damn business." Kitty pointed out. "I just won't go back to Germany, not that I was ever plannin' on going back-"

Steve turned to Tony and asked, "Are they looking to extradite her?"

"No," Tony admitted. "I called the Embassy and they said because Germany refuses to specify anything more than 'crimes against the Crown', they won't accept any extradition deal." He rubbed his forehead with his right hand. "The Embassy warned me that they can't protect her if she steps foot on German soil, but they can argue if any other countries try to extradite her while on any of Germany's allies-"

"Basically, don't go to Germany." Clint simplified.

"And if you go to any Germany-allied territories, the Embassy will argue that you're too valuable to extradite without a murder charge with concrete evidence." Tony continued. "We're extremely lucky that America likes the Avengers as much as they do, or else you-"

"Would be running a German prison." Deadpool smiled under his mask.

Kitty nodded. "I got it, no Germany." She turned towards the kitchen with a blaisse attitude.

"Dammit, Kit," Tony slammed his fist on the table. "This is serious! Germany has declared you a war criminal and if they try to pursue it, this could start WWIII."

"I doubt it'll get that far." Steve's voice lacked confidence as he looked down at the table.

"What if I surrender?" Kitty asked. "Does that buy, I don't know, good faith or something?"

"No." Steve said with absolute certainty.

"No way." Tony shook his head. "So far, America, Britain, Canada, and France-"

"Good ole Allies." Steve smiled slightly.

"Have unanimously agreed that should Germany pursue this, it will be taken as a declaration of war." Tony crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back. "They don't like that the Germans are threatening an 'American hero'."

Clint snorted. "American hero?"

"Special Forces, honorable discharge, and now, an Avenger." Steve shrugged and smiled. "Sounds like an American hero."

"One man's hero is another man's reckless criminal." Deadpool pointed out.


	17. Bad Teacher

**Bad Teacher**

Peter Parker slept over at Stark Tower, so Kitty decided to take him to school. The problem was that they were late to bed...and late to wake up.

The Principal was standing outside the school, tapping his foot as he waited for Peter. "Ahh, Mr. Parker," The Principal said as Kitty pulled alongside the curb so they could get out. "So glad you could grace us with your presence."

"Sorry, Sir!" Kitty called as she got out of the car. She raised her hand sheepishly. "It was my fault, I'm not a morning person."

"Who are you?" The Principal asked as inspected the woman.

"Distant family member." Peter answered vaguely.

"Well," The Principal crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you aware that Mr. Laid Back Senior has been late every day this month?"

"That's why I brought the Hennessey Venom." Kitty patted the hood of the bright yellow car lovingly.

"Detention." The Principal said firmly.

Kitty winced. "Sorry Petey."

"You, too," The Principal pointed at a very shocked Kitty. "Ms. Distant Family Member."

Kitty blinked at the man in surprised and asked, "Excuse me?"

* * *

Tony fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed Kitty. "Where the hell are you? We've got someone called the Ice Arsonist on the loose-"

It sounded like Kitty was whispering into the phone. "Oh I'm in detention with Petey."

"What?" Tony asked.

Before he got an answer, Tony heard someone say, "NO PHONES!" And there was a muffled thumping noise before the line clicked dead.

* * *

"I want you both to write 'I will not be late' a hundred times on your paper." The teacher put his hands on his hips and stared down at Peter and Kitty.

"Look dude," Kitty said loudly. "I got somewhere I oughta be and that ain't here-"

"Isn't." He corrected.

"Soooo," Kitty continued as if she hadn't heard him. "I really need to leave."

"No." The teacher sat down at his desk and glared at the two. Kitty grumbled and started to write down the damn phrase on the notebook paper she borrowed from Peter. She was on the twentieth line when she heard a very familiar sound.

"Petey," Kitty hissed under her breath. "Did you hear that?"

Peter paused, listening. "...Sounds like gunfire."

"That's what I thought." Kitty raised her hand. "Sir, teacher! Dude!"

The teacher rolled his eyes and asked, "What do you want?"

"I gotta go to the bathroom."

"Me, too!" Peter chimed in.

"No." The teacher went back to reading his newspaper.

"Please, sir?" Peter tried.

"No."

"I don't have time for this." Kitty stood up and walked up to the teacher before punching him. The teacher slumped onto his desk, knocked out cold. "Sorry, dude."

Kitty and Peter ran out into the crowded hall, where the sound of gunfire grew louder. She patted her thigh, then her back. "Petey," Kitty's eyes were wide as she said, "My gun's in the car."

Peter opened up his backpack. "I got my suit."

"You got a gun?" She asked. He shook his head and Kitty considered this before saying, "You get the kids out and call mom and dad." She started fighting through the hordes of panicking students.

"What are you going to do?" Peter called after her.

"Something stupid!" Kitty ran towards the sound of gunfire. A teacher had tried to stop her, but Kitty shrugged them off and continued her search. Finally, she found the gymnasium, where a teenager was strapped up with a bomb. A group of students were sitting down with their backs pressed against the wall, trying to edge themselves as far from the terrorist as possible. One of the students was weeping as the shooter paced in front of them.

"SHUT UP!" The shooter covered his ears, the gun still in his hand. "STOP CRYING!"

One of the students hugged the hysterical girl to his chest, trying to silence her cries. The student looked up to see Kitty climbing up to the rafters on the ceiling. He made eye contact with the blonde, who put her finger to her lips. The student softly nodded and worked hard to keep his eyes on the terrorist.

Kitty climbed on her hands and knees on the very thin rafter, trying to get to the middle of the gym. She positioned herself right above the teen with the gun. By now, several students had noticed that she was on the ceiling beams.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!" The terrorist looked up just as Kitty flung herself off the beam. She dropped on him and immediately started to wrestle the gun away. Two of the students ran away and the others started cheering her on. Kitty tried to not think about the fact that she had just thrown herself on a bomb; It was just a little too Steve Rogers for her reputation. Kitty managed to grab the small box that the terrorist dropped and the gun. The teenager searched the ground frantically.

"Lookin' for this?" Kitty tauntingly held up the trigger switch.

"Give it back!" The teenager demanded.

"Now, now" Kitty pointed the gun at the teen. "You didn't say please." A blur of color diverted her attention to the door and the terrorist pounced. Kitty threw the trigger switch as hard as she could at Spiderman, who caught it with a web. She clutched the gun's handle so hard that it was painful and used the other hand to punch the teen. "GET THE KIDS OUT!" He smashed the side of her head against the wood floor.

The hostages needed no more prompting. They ran out of the gym, leaving only Spiderman, Kitty, and the bomber in the large space. Just as Spiderman was swinging towards the two, a shot reverberated. Kitty looked down at her t-shirt to see blood blossoming from the black fabric. The teenager's eyes was locked on the blood and Kitty used the opportunity to grab the gun from him. She awkwardly got to her feet and aimed it at him.

"A FUCKIN' BB GUN?!" Kitty screamed at him. "YOU SHOT ME WITH A GODDAMN BB GUN!"

Spiderman quickly webbed the stunned teenager to the wall while police swarmed into the room. Kitty lifted the hem of her shirt and sighed. The BB hadn't actually lodged in her, it had just carved it's way around her waist. It'd only need a couple stitches. Her head however? Killing her.

She heard the teenager yell, "I didn't make the bomb! I bought it!"

Kitty felt like she was going to throw up and pass out at the same time. She slid down to her knees, then sat criss-crossed on the floor, dazedly looking at the chaos around her. She blinked her eyes and suddenly, Steve and Bruce were standing in front of her.

"Hey, guuuys." Kitty smiled. "When did you get there?"

Steve's eyes widened and he looked to Bruce, who had already stitched up her side and covered it with gauze. "Kitty, do you remember how you got here?"

Kitty looked around at her surroundings, which was not Peter's high school. It was the Tower's med bay. "Imma the bay?"

"Congratulations." Bruce wiped blood off her temple with a damp piece of gauze. "You're officially concussed."

"Oh, I'm quite glad it's official." Kitty's speech was slurred and she smiled lopsidedly. "It'd be a terrible shame for it to be unofficial."

"Is she okay?" Steve asked, his face full of worry.

"She'll have to stay awake for at least twelve hours." Bruce listened to Kitty's breathing.

"Why?"

"Because if she falls asleep, she might not wake up." Bruce said this lightheartedly, considering how scared he was about that happening.

"But I like to sleep." Kitty complained. "I'm awfully tired and y'all are real loud."

"Hey, Kitty," Steve helped Kitty up and laced his arm with hers. "Let's go for a walk."

"I doan wanna walk." Kitty grumbled.

"We just have to keep her awake." Bruce took her other arm and they led her out of the med bay. "Let's go say hi to everyone!"

"I don't wanna." Kitty pouted and tried to wiggle out of their grasp.

"Too bad." Bucky smiled as they took the elevator to the lobby. "Look, its Pepper and Happy! Say hi!"

"I'm notta child." Kitty grumbled.

"Hi, Kitty." Pepper smiled kindly at Kitty. "We heard that you stopped a school shooter."

"He had a goddamnit BB gun!" Kitty ranted to Happy, who looked very entertained. "He shot me with a BB!"

"How dare he."

"Yeah!" Kitty nodded. "How fuckin' dare he!" She looked up to Steve. "I pulled a 'Steve', I jumped on a bomb. But doan tell anyone. It'll break my anti-hero stats." She thought she had whispered this, but she had actually yelled it very loudly.

Steve looked up at the three, a proud grin on his face. "I won't tell anyone."

"Good. Good, good, good."


	18. Folsom Prison

**Folsom Prison**

Kitty walked up to the Tower and noticed that the door was locked. Slightly miffed, she swiped her keycard and entered her code before it opened. She cautiously made her way into the lobby, ready for whatever could have caused the Tower to go on lockdown. Sitting out in the reception area were all of the Avengers, except for Tony and Steve. There were also multiple men in suits with ear pieces in guarding a conference room.

"What the fuck?" Kitty asked. She saw Tony's back and Steve's side in the conversence room, visible through the bulletproof glass. Turning to Natasha, she asked, "Is this a penis-only party?"

One of the men chuckled.

"Imma take that as a yes." Kitty took a step forward, only to get stopped by one of the suit-clad men.

"Sorry, miss, but you don't have clearance to go further."

Kitty scoffed and said, "I have level two clearance-"

"You're also on the watchlist, Ms. Vics." Another man said. He waved his hand towards where the rest of the Avengers were sitting. "Please sit down."

She raised her eyebrows and asked, "The watchlist? What watchlist?"

"Yes. You are on a list along with ten other individuals who have the capability to be a...problem to national security." The man she deemed in charge explained. "Sergeant Wilson is also on the list."

"They won't let us in either." Natasha chimed in from her chair.

Kitty gave the men a shifty look as she sat down next to Bruce. "Who the fuck's in there?"

"The President of the United States," Clint told her. "And-"

"Vice President Schwarzenegger." Bruce finished.

"Ooh," Kitty's eyes lit up. "Do you think he'll sign my copy of Terminator?"

"I think I know why you don't have clearance."

"Oh, shut up Barton." Kitty bit her lip and eyed the secret service agents. "So," She nodded to the conference room. "What's goin' on in there?"

"President wants the Avengers to do something." Natasha said.

Kitty raised her eyebrows and whispered, "Something illegal?"

"Probably." Bruce sighed.

After what seemed like an hour, the conference doors opened, causing the Avengers to stand up. Three secret service agents exited before the President and Vice President walked out. The President smiled and addressed the Avengers. "It's very nice to meet you all. I appreciate what you all do for this country."

"Do you mean murde-"

Bruce quickly clapped his hand over Kitty's mouth to shut her up. "She means thank you."

The Vice President smiled at her and said, "You must be Ms. Vics."

Kitty, who still had Bruce's hand on her mouth, nodded.

"I am a big fan of yours." He admitted. "I read your military file. Very impressive."

The President made sure Tony and Steve left the conference room before saying, "I will let you two fill them in." And the President and Vice President left the Tower, flanked by their secret service squad.

All of the Avengers looked to Tony and Steve for answers. Tony told them, "Luke Giles is going to be reported dead."

"But he's not?" Bruce needed clarification and Kitty was frustrated at his concern for the serial killer.

"No." Steve shook his head. "He will be transported to the highest security hospital for the criminally insane."

"Arkham Asylum?" Clint asked.

Tony nodded in agreement. "Pretty much."

"The President decided it would be safest if the world thinks Luke was dead." Steve explained.

"With the amount of death threats and lawsuits from the families," Natasha shrugged. "It's probably safest."

"He's listed as the most notorious serial killer of all times." Clint added.

Kitty hissed, "Right behind Hitler."


	19. Fall To Pieces

**Fall To Pieces**

Kitty Vics was surprised to see the doctor sitting at the dinner table, his hands cradling his head. Her hand instinctively flew to the handle of her weapon. She quickly assessed the situation-no blood or injuries, no gun to his head. Somehow, she found herself more worried at the lack of violence.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she sat down beside him. Bruce Banner moved his hands over his face to rub the back of his neck and Kitty instinctively put her hand on his cheek and lightly traced her thumb over his skin.

"We need to talk." He said simply. She dropped her hand from his face like she'd been burned. With those four words, Kitty's heart beat fast in her chest, the anxiety washing over her like ice. Even she knew that those four words never brought forth anything good. "Kitty...I don't know how to do this…" He looked down at his hands and his next words came out rushed. "Weshouldntseeeachotheranymore."

"What?" Kitty's eyes widened as she tried to take in what he'd said. He started to repeat himself but she cut him off. "No, I heard you. But why?"

"Why?" He snorted. "Because anytime I lose focus or get mad, you could get hurt. I could hurt you." He took a deep breath and shut his eyes. "And I'm not going to do that to you."

Kitty blinked rapidly as this set in. "And this isn't going to hurt me? From that first kiss, you couldn't of said this? You had to let it get this far, had to let me get feelings! I know what I signed up for, you know!" She screamed hysterically, getting up from her seat. "So what now? What, we just go back like how we were?" Kitty shrugged, moving her hair off her face before crossing her arms over her chest. "I get hurt, you fix me up, no questions asked? Bullshit, this is bullshit." She spat.

"Emotional pain is nothing like being ripped to shreds. I thought, maybe I could control this, but it's useless. If I lose control…" He shook his head slowly. "I'm hopeless... but you're not."

"I love you, Bruce Banner." Kitty whispered sadly. "I know I don't say it enough, but I do and-"

Bruce's eyes slid shut and he knew what he had to say to end it. "I don't love you."

"What?" Kitty asked breathlessly. Her light eyebrows drew together and her chest felt tight. "What'd you say?"

"I don't love you, Kitty. I never did."

Kitty recoiled like she had been slapped. She softly said, "But you said-"

"I lied! How could anyone love you? After all you've done, all the people you've murdered? Nobody will ever love you." He tried to stay calm and sure of his decision but seeing Kitty angrily wipe a tear out of the corner of her eye almost broke him. He quickly rose from his chair and walked out of the room, leaving Kitty alone.

She stood there, shaking, for just a moment before turning around and walking out of the Stark Tower.

The cantina she was found in was dark and dingy, with a few people scattered around the tables. She drew a lot of attention, a pretty blonde in a blue leather jacket sitting at the bar, ordering drinks in fluent Spanish. By the time Deadpool got there, she had already turned (and kicked) away several suitors.

"Tendré lo que ella está teniendo." The black and red clad man told the bartender, who smirked and waited for the woman to kick him away as well.

The bartender, an older man named Sebastián, liked watching the pretty woman get rough with the pigs trying to go home with her. He bent down and grabbed the bottle of tequila and poured Deadpool a double before pushing it towards him. He watched in fascination as the man lifted up his mask to his nose and downed the golden drink like a professional. His skin was pink and white with what looked like burn scars.

"He broke up with me, Sarge." Kitty murmured as she ran a pale finger around the edge of the shot glass before picking it up and drinking it all in one gulp. She pushed back a strand of long hair. "Otro, por favor, Sebastián." The bartender quickly refilled her glass, disappointed that she would not send away this man.

Deadpool picked up her newly refilled glass and drank it. Kitty hit him on the arm, hard. Even in the dark bar, he could see that she had been crying. "Stark called me," She snorted in response. "Señor!" Deadpool pushed both shot glasses to him and Sebastián rolled his eyes. He reached under the bar and retrieved two full bottles of tequila and put one in front of each of the mercenaries. "¡Gracias!" He called to Sebastián, who was already on the other end of the bar, dealing with other customers. He turned to Kitty, who had taken the top off her bottle. "He's worried. Said you'd probably be drinking."

"When am I not? That's probably why he left. That, and the fact that I kill people for money." She laughed quietly to herself. "Knew I'd never be able to land someone decent." She took a long swig from her bottle before Deadpool gently eased it out of her hand. It was obvious that she was more than slightly tipsy, having already downed a fourth of the new bottle.

"Is that what he fucking said?" Deadpool asked, furious. "Because I'll kill him for you. I'll skin him and make you a nice green coat."

Kitty laughed at the last part, then quickly turned somber. "He did the "It's not you, it's me" bullshit. Said it's because of the green guy thing. Like I didn't know that going into the fuckin' relationship." Her words slurred slightly and her eyes threatened to tear up. She took a deep breath and blinked heavily. "Doesn't matter." She grabbed the bottle back from Deadpool and drank more, and all he could do was watch. "Doesn't. Fuckin'. Matter."

"You deserve better." He said sadly, hating to see his friend in so much pain. He wished he'd never tried to set the two up.

"I'm a serial killer. A morally grey anti-hero. I deserve everythin' I've got." Kitty answered bitterly.

"Like a family who loves you?" Deadpool asked softly. Kitty stopped drinking and set the bottle down on the bar, looking at it intensely.

"Everytime I get close," She whispered. "It all falls apart. Who's to say this family ain't next?" This time, she was unable to blink away the tear that fell from her eye onto the wood bar. "Who's to say y'all won't just leave me?"

"We're not going anywhere, Vics."

It was three-thirty in the morning when Kitty and Deadpool wandered back to Stark Tower. Well, Kitty was wandering, having drunk the rest of the bottle and ending up in a very inebriated state. Deadpool was helping Kitty, who was too drunk to walk straight or to shut up.

"And then, that bitch said she couldn't go out with me anymore because she, she said she couldn't trust me around all these guys livin' here. And two of them are gay-ish! And they're like my parents! But she was fuckin' her neighbor anyway."

Deadpool had to help steer her to the couch out in the main living room. He was afraid that Bruce was in her room and that he would be unable to contain himself if he saw the bastard. He knew one of the last things Kitty needed right now was a showdown.

He set her up on the sofa, tucked her in, and watched as she passed out. He then showed himself out, knowing that the next morning was going to be tough enough without him.

And he was right. It was Tony who found her on the couch in the morning. He silently went into the kitchen and made her a large cup of coffee. He nudged Kitty awake and handed the mug to her, watching as she took a sip. Her eyes flew open and her face scrunched up as the coffee burned her throat.

"Ugh, it's coffee." Kitty looked up at Tony in shock, her face indignant.

He laughed. "Yeah, what'd you expect?"

"Tequila?" She asked hopefully. Tony moved her legs so he could sit next to her. "You're wearin' the shirt I got you for Christmas." She poked at the Black Sabbath logo on his chest. Kitty's smile died quickly though as she looked down and whispered, "He's gone, isn't he?"

Tony nodded. "Left last night." Kitty laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. Kitty took a deep breath of Tony's cologne, trying to calm herself. She was shaking slightly as she pulled the blanket around her closer.

"He said it's because of the 'other guy' thing." She whispered. "Do you think that's true or he was just using that as an excuse?" Kitty had been thinking that all last night, but Deadpool wasn't really the person you'd want to ask questions like that.

Tony Stark sighed. "I don't know, Kit."

They sat like that, each silently drinking their coffee, until Steve came out. He was already in his red, white, and blue Captain America suit. The handsome blond took one look at Kitty and bent down to hug her, ignoring her squeak of protest. Finally, she gave up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She broke the contact first.

"We got a job, Kitty," Steve said slowly, glancing at Tony. "I mean, it's an easy one, so I can handle it alone if you don't feel up to it." Tony mouthed 'no' at his partner.

"No," Kitty stood up, her head throbbing from the slight hangover. "I'll go. Let me go change." She took the lift up to her floor and walked through her living room, but faltered at the bedroom door. Slowly, she opened it and saw that it was true.

There were no signs of Bruce ever being there. She sniffled quietly, reprimanding herself for wanting to cry. She shut the door and peeled off her black tee shirt and jeans. She saw that on the bed was her jacket from last night along with her gun and her boots. Kitty came to the conclusion that Deadpool had put them there when he brought her drunk ass home.

She numbly pulled on her suit, zipped up her corset, and tied her boots before grabbing her weapons. After all her gear was on, she walked into the bathroom and yanked a brush through her hair. Kitty pulled it up into a long ponytail and quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth. Dark circles ran under her eyes, which looked glassy, and her skin had a sickly pallor to it. She touched the vibrant wound on her neck, remembering her first kiss with Bruce Banner. The memory cut like a blade and she found it difficult to stay. With one last look at the empty space and a long sigh, Kitty walked out of the room and shut the door.

* * *

Meanwhile, Steve and Tony were standing in the kitchen, having a hushed debate over bringing Kitty along.

"Do you really think it's smart to have her on a mission right now?" Tony asked as he leaned with his back on the counter and ran a hand through his short, dark hair.

"Well...no," Steve admitted. "But I thought it might cheer her up." He looked past his friend to the hallway that Kitty had disappeared down. He stood a little closer to Tony before whispering, "I'm worried about her."

"So am I. And I think Deadpool is, too." Tony sighed. "I just don't know what she might do on a job when she's...Like this. A normal, somewhat-stable Kitty is dangerous enough, but when she's upset?" He shook his head.

Steve's response was cut short by Kitty's entrance into the room.

"All ready, Capt'n." She tried a smile, but even she knew it came out looking tight and uncomfortable.

Tony gave Steve a pointed look before saying, "Be careful you two."


	20. The Shining

**The Shining**

Today's villain of the day was one John Falsworth, Jr., a pitiful foe that had a particular hard on for Captain America and the destruction of the city. John Falsworth Jr. insisted on being called Baron Blood due to his vampiric powers acquired from the infamous Count Dracula, and much to the Kitty Vic's delight, he threw actual fits when called by his given name.

Baron Blood had decided that the best way to get the Avengers, and by default- Captain America's, attention was by robbing Sharpolist's Majority Bank in the Upper East Side. All had gone his way, so far. He had called in an anonymous tip into the police, and had even drained a man of his blood in front of an officer before holding the patrons of the bank hostage.

And now, he lay in wait for the Avengers.

The Violent Vixen and Captain America burst into the bank, ready for business. "Hellooo, Johnny!" Kitty called in a singsong voice.

"Ah, Violent Vixen." Baron Blood came out from behind the teller's box, much to the chagrin of the hostages. He had a bit of blood dripping from his lip and his hand was gripping the collar of the poor husk of a man he'd just drained dry. "You look paler than usual. How can I possibly believe that you are not a fellow Vampire?" He tossed the body aside, nearly hitting one of the hostages, who got sick from the sight of the dead desiccated corpse.

"We're here to stop you, Baron." Captain America reminded him.

"Are you getting low on Avengers?" The Blood Baron asked, pushing a hostage out of the way to get closer. The Violent Vixen shuddered slightly when he smiled; There was still blood on The Blood Baron's teeth. "Or do I not warrant more than two people to take me down?"

"Sorry, mate." Kitty drew her sword, knowing that a gun was useless on a Vampire. She pointed it at the villain, who was now crouching and snarling at her. "Not exactly high on our priority list. You understand, right?"

"It'll be such a waste," The Blood Baron shook his head, his red eyes flashing. "But I do love blondes." He struck, as quick as a snake, but Kitty turned fast enough to avoid his attack. Captain America charged the Baron, using the edge of his shield to hit the Blood Baron in the chest. He staggered back slightly, then regained his footing. The Blood Baron smiled widely, and the ground beneath them became to shake and rumble. The Baron summoned an earthquake to run through the bank, causing the marble floor to crack and split. The hostages screamed and started to stampede, and a man pushed Kitty closer to the Blood Baron.

The Baron turned to Kitty, his red eyes flashing into a hypozing state that seemed to cut through her sunglasses. Kitty couldn't tear her eyes from his and she felt like she was falling. And as quickly as she fell for it, she snapped back into the fight and swung her sword towards the Vampire with all her power. The Violent Vixen was so short, though, that her sword only came to his waist, barely slicing into the Blood Baron. Captain America swung his heavy shield and cut through half of the vampire's neck. The Blood Baron fell to the marble floor, his eyes open in shock as he tried to focus his energy in transforming into an animal so he could escape. Kitty successfully decapitated him with her sword before he could do so.


	21. Immortals

**Immortals**

Tony glanced in Kitty's direction. "Our, uh, new doctor is coming today. Professor Xavier is letting us borrow her for a while."

The Avengers were all in various states of relaxation. Kitty was sitting with her legs folded beneath her on the kitchen counter by the coffee maker. This was unofficially "her spot" and it drove Steve nuts. He didn't understand why she liked to sit somewhere that looked so uncomfortable but Tony had a suspicion that it was because it gave her a higher vantage point. With her sitting on the counter, she could talk to most of them without looking up. Natasha and Clint were sitting with each other on the couch, discussing the latest news. Steve and Tony were at the kitchen table so they could talk with Kitty.

The new doctor, or Healer as she preferred to be called, was not expecting to walk in on what looked like a family. All of them were in normal street clothes, talking to those near them. She looked at Logan, who the Professor had sent with her to help her get set up, with mild confusion. He just shrugged before strolling over to where Kitty, Tony, and Steve were sitting. The woman mutely followed, trying to take in her surroundings.

"Hey, Logan." Kitty smiled widely.

"I brought you the Healer." Logan cocked his head in her direction and pulled up a chair beside Kitty.

She was… unusual. Her long, black hair had twists and braids in it and she had gold piercings in her nose, lip, and belly button. The piercings stood out vividly from her dark, sepia skin that almost seemed to glow. She was wearing a small, white shirt that showed her toned stomach with a long blue skirt that brushed on the ground. And she was tall. Even on the counter, Kitty had to look up at the woman. She was beautiful and seemed to command the attention of the room as she walked gracefully over to Tony, the smell of gardenias following her every move.

"I am Evelyn." Her voice was neither high or low, but a perfect, soothing pitch.

"Tony Stark, Iron Man." He introduced, still slightly shocked at the woman's appearance. "Thanks for coming."

The room seemed to pause before Kitty spoke. "Kitty Vics, the Violent Vixen." She smiled kindly at the woman, who smiled in return. "Nice to meet 'cha."

Everyone else in the room took turns introducing themselves with both their names and alias. Evelyn smiled and nodded politely at each one, but her eyes kept drifting to Kitty.

"Where is my room to be?" She asked Tony. Evelyn was taller than Tony by almost a foot and he started to have an inkling of the neck pain Kitty was always complaining about.

"Kitty, can you show her?" Tony waved his hand at Kitty, who hopped off the counter and stood next to the newcomer. Logan smiled at her and almost laughed at how comically tiny she looked next to the tall woman.

Kitty led Evelyn and Logan to the elevator that went up to the private rooms. It frustrated her that the elevator from the entrance level of the Tower only went up to the living room and kitchen on the third floor. This was a precaution so it would be harder to get up to the living quarters. One needed their own individual access code to get to the living room, where you took the separate elevator to whoever's floor you needed. She inputted her personal code and the lift took off.

How Evelyn got Logan to carry all of her bags for her, Kitty didn't really want to know. She suspected the woman was a witch, but couldn't think of any polite way to ask. Kitty strolled out of the elevator and took Evelyn to one of the spare rooms on the fourth floor.

"This is your room, and once you get settled, I'll show you the med bay." Kitty took one of the woman's bags from Logan and set it on the large bed.

Evelyn wandered around the room, inspecting it. "I will not need the 'med bay'." She said the word as if it was foreign to her tongue. "I will see people in my room."

"Oh," Kitty looked at Logan, but he just shrugged. "If you're comfortable with that…"

"What is that on your neck?" She interrupted, pointing a long finger (adorned with three rings) at the deep red gash on Kitty's throat.

Logan took a deep breath as Kitty's hand flew up to her neck and she rubbed her collarbone softly. "A man slit my throat on a mission almost a year back."

Evelyn stood in front of Kitty and moved her blonde hair to have a closer look at the wound. "I can fix," She said. "If you want."

"You can fix this?" Kitty asked in astonishment.

"What do you mean, fix?" Logan asked gruffly.

Evelyn moved over to the bed and opened up the large black bag sitting on it. "I can make it fade. It will not be so bright and noticeable." She started digging through the bag, searching for something.

Kitty pulled Logan aside at an attempt at privacy. "What do you think?" Kitty asked Logan, her hand still touching the wound.

"I think you should only do it if you want to."

Kitty rolled her eyes; Logan, ever so helpful. "Do you trust her?" Logan looked over at the woman, then nodded. "Okay." She said softly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Come sit on the bed." Evelyn ordered, nodding her head to the large bed in the room. Kitty hopped up on it and crossed her legs tailor style, and waited patiently for the next instruction. Evelyn turned to Logan and waved her hand, dismissing him. "You need to go."

Logan made eye contact with Kitty, silently asking if she was comfortable with him leaving her there with the strange woman. Kitty nodded, breaking the eye contact to look at Evelyn, who was lining up pots of different sizes and colors. Logan walked out the door, closing it softly.

"Lie down," Kitty did as she was told. "This will burn." Evelyn warned her before smearing what looked suspiciously like mud on Kitty's neck. It felt cool, but quickly warmed up until it was scorching hot. It felt like when you accidentally burn your finger as a child, when the heat paradoxically causes your body to cover itself in a cool sweat. But rather than the pain disappearing, it only seemed to get worse. Kitty was breathing heavily, trying her best to not scream or cry out. After what seemed like eternity, Evelyn held up a dull knife and started gently scraping off the mud. Kitty lay as still as possible, although Evelyn was extremely careful and gentle. After getting off all the mud, she applied a green gel before placing small, smooth stones all over the gel. The rocks were cold, freezing after the fiery mud, and Kitty almost found herself wishing for the heat. Evelyn removed the stone and started rubbing the gel off her neck.

Evelyn brought over a small (but heavy) gold mirror and handed it to Kitty, who sat up. She couldn't wrap her head around what she saw; Or rather, what she didn't. Where there was once an uneven, angry wound was now a thick, but faded, whitish-purple line stretching from one side to the other.

"It will heal more," Evelyn told her, observing her face with interest. "Fade more. With time." She started gathering her materials to place in one of the bookshelves in the room.

"Thank you." Kitty managed to choke out, still unable to take her eyes off her neck. "Thank you so much." Evelyn opened the door to let Logan in. He stopped at the doorway, watching Kitty inspect her neck. "Look," She motioned to her neck. "Look, Logan, it's gone. Well, almost."

"Yeah," Logan agreed, carefully touching her neck. "It is, isn't it?"

"Thank you, Evelyn!" Kitty hugged Logan quickly before running out of the room to show the rest of the Avengers.

Kitty ran from the elevator, emerging in the family room with a smile on her face. She struck a pose in the doorway, stretching her neck out as much as possible. "Notice anything...different about me?" She asked in a sultry voice.

"Not really." Tony glanced up from his conversation with Clint Barton, before doing a double take. "Your neck." His eyes widened and he rose from his chair, as did Clint.

"Evelyn fixed it." Kitty explained, running her hand over her now healed neck.


	22. The Fault In Our Personalities

**The Fault in Our Personalities**

"Okay, some of them are kinda...Odd." Kitty warned, trying to find the best way to describe her faux-family.

"If they mean a lot to you, I'm sure I'll like them." Her date smiled as Kitty led him to the living room. Much to her chagrin, Deadpool was sitting at the table with the rest of the group.

"Vicky!" Deadpool called as soon as she walked in the room. "I need your help." He was sitting next to Peter Parker at the table, and it was obvious they had walked into a family discussion. "Whose side did you take in the Axl Rose/Slash Guns N' Roses split?"

She snorted. "Easy, Slash all the way." Kitty answered as her date walked into the room. "Everybody," She addressed the group, waving her hand towards the visitor. "This is Nikolai Archerson."

Greetings and introductions followed and soon, everyone was seated for dinner. It was all going well until...

"So, what's it like being an ATF agent?" Steve asked her date.

Before Nikolai could answer, Deadpool exclaimed, "You're a fed!?" Silence fell over the table like a blanket and Kitty couldn't help but think that it was about time something bad happened.

"Yes, he is." Kitty growled, shooting a warning look at Deadpool.

"¿Él sabe lo que haces para ganarte la vida?" The mercenary asked discreetly. "Y él está bien con eso?"

"Sarge," Kitty said sadly, biting her lower lip. "He speaks Spanish fluently."

"¿Cuál es tu trabajo? ¿Y por qué lo llamaste 'Sarge'?" Nikolai turned to stare at Kitty, ignoring the glares she was sending Deadpool's way. When she didn't answer, he asked, "¿Puedo hablar contigo en el pasillo?"

"Yeah, come on." Kitty stood up and walked out of the kitchen and into the hall, Nikolai right behind her.

"What was that weird guy in the suit talking about?" Nikolai crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "And why did you call him 'Sarge'?"

"He was my Sergeant when I was in the military, so I call him Sarge outta habit."

Nikolai's eyes widened. "You were in the military? And you didn't think I'd want to know that?" He reached his hand up and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I mean, it never really came up." Kitty said defensively, mirroring him by crossing her arms over her chest.

"Okay, so you were in the military." Nikolai slowly nodded his head. "Anything else I should know?"

Kitty hesitated. "Well, I'm not exactly a secretary."

"I kinda figured." Nikolai admitted. "What do you do then?"

"I'm Chief of Security here at the Tower." Kitty told him, waving her hand at the hallway they were in.

"Chief of Security?" He asked. Kitty nodded her head. "But isn't that dangerous?"

"Well," Kitty shrugged, thinking of all the times she'd be cut, stabbed, and otherwise, injured. "Sometimes, but-"

"I don't see why they can't hire those damn Mutant people to do jobs like this." Nikolai complained.

Kitty froze. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Well, I don't want you to get hurt and I just don't understand why they can't make those damn Mutants do dangerous jobs like that." Nikolai shot, his hands curling into fists. "That way you could just do something safe, like be a secretary."

Kitty stared at him, her eyes flashing. "Do you have some sorta problem with Mutants?" She asked carefully.

"No, I just think that they should be doing useful things, like protecting people, rather than being something so...Unnatural."

"Unnatural?" Kitty repeated.

"Well, yeah." Nikolai nodded. "I don't get why they can't just keep themselves from becoming Mutants and just suppress it."

"It's not something most of them choose," Kitty explained slowly. "They're usually born with it."

"Well, I just don't know why they can't use that medication and get rid of it."

Kitty uncrossed her arms and looked down at the floor before whispering, "I think you need to leave."

"What?"

"I think you should leave." Kitty repeated, her eyes still cast downwards.

"You can't be serious." Nikolai scoffed. "They're just Mutant freaks, why does it matter?"

"Nikolai, if you do not leave right now, as Chief of Security, I will escort you out myself." Kitty warned, her voice taking on an authoritarian tone.

Nikolai narrowed his eyes and tried to take a step towards Kitty, his arms out. "Kitty, don't be ridiculous-"

"As of right now, Nikolai Archerson, you are trespassin'." Kitty informed him, her body going on defense. "This is your last warning to leave."

"Are you kidding me?" Nikolai put his hand on Kitty's arm, trying to calm her.

"Nope." Kitty grabbed his hand and pinned his arm behind his back before starting to walk him into the living room.

"Kitty, come on, don't be like this." Nikolai whined as the Avengers watched Kitty drag him out of the room. Eventually, Kitty came back into the living room and sat down at the table, taking a bite of her food like nothing had happened.

She glanced up and saw everyone staring at her. "What?" She asked.

Tony looked around and decided it would be him who asked. "Are you going to explain what that was?" He pointed to where Kitty took the ATF agent.

"I told him to leave, he refused. I warned him that if he did not leave, I would escort him out." She took a bite of bread and said, "You saw where that went."

"I'm sorry if I-" Deadpool started.

Kitty cut him off. "It wasn't you." The group waited for an explanation. "It would seem that Mr. Nikolai Archerson has a problem with Mutants, which means I have a problem with him. Now, Steve, could you pass the carrots?"


	23. Captain America: Winter Soldier

**Captain America: Winter Soldier**

Kitty's eyebrows drew together as she quietly watched the man attempt to open the refrigerator. "Uh," Her hand twitched towards the knife tucked in her black silk stocking. "Can I help you?"

Still facing away from her, the dark haired man said, "Yeah, I'm looking for Steve Rogers-" He turned around and his face changed. "Why helloooooooooo, dollface." His eyes raked up and down Kitty's figure, clad in an orchid colored swing dress. "Wait, what year is it?"

"Are you drunk?" She could smell Vodka and orange juice from across the room.

"Slightly intoxicated," He slurred. "But not enough to overlook how absolutely stunning you are."

Kitty rolled her eyes and took ahold of his arm. "Come on." The man willingly followed her as she dragged him up to Tony and Steve's room. She knocked on their door until it opened. "I believe this," She shoved the man towards them. "Is yours."

Steve's eyebrows drew together. "Bucky?"

"Ya know," Bucky gushed. "If you had warned me that you had gorgeous dames like this over here, I would've joined your group sooner."

Tony looked at Steve and asked, "So this is Bucky?"

"This is drunk Bucky," Steve explained. "Not that sober Bucky was ever any less of a ladies man."

Both looked over to see Bucky leaning with his metal arm against a wall. "In some countries, I'm considered a war hero, you know."

Kitty was smirking as she said, "And I'm a war criminal."

Bucky's eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened in curiosity. "Really?" He smiled brightly. "Well we should talk about this over drinks."

Tony's eyes narrowed and he warned, "Stop flirting with my daughter."

"Why?" Bucky asked, his eyes still glued to Kitty.

"Because you're too old for her." Steve reminded his friend.

"I'm in my twenties," Bucky said defensively. "I'm her age!"

"You were her age in the 40's, Bucky," Steve nagged. "Now stop."

"Wait," Bucky held up his hand. "You," He pointed at Kitty. "You're Steve's daughter?"

Kitty narrowed her eyes at him. "What's it to ya?"

Bucky slowly shook his head, a smile on his face. "Absolutely nothing, Sunshine."

"Don't call me that." Kitty fished her phone out of her stocking and said, "I gotta go guys, I'm late."

"Late for what?" Tony asked.

"I promised a friend that I'd do a pinup photo shoot with some of his girls."

Tony gave Kitty 'a Look'.

"Not that kinda photoshoot." Kitty assured them. "Fully clothed."

Steve nodded approvingly. "Good."

Bucky looked aghast. "Not good!"

Kitty rolled her eyes. "Nice to know that men were still pigs in the 40s." She kissed Tony's cheek, then Steve's. "I'll be back in about two hours, maybe three."

Bucky smiled and pointed hopefully to his cheek.

"Nice try." Kitty turned and started to walk away. "Stop staring at my ass, Bucky." She called over her shoulder.

Bucky turned to Steve and asked, "Where did you find that and are there any more?"


	24. The Graduate

**The Graduate**

 _Iron_ _ _Man_ : "The mission, should you choose to accept it, will require patience, tact, and semi formal attire."

Black_Widow: 'The address?"

 **Violent_Vixen** : '142 Convention Plaza, 4PM'

 _Captain_America_ : 'Don't be late.'

Hawkeye: 'Will me need offerings?'

Hawkeye: '***we'

 **Violent_Vixen:** 'yes'

 _Iron_ _ _Man_ : 'You will need to leave all gifts at the Tower though. He can open them at the party.'

 _Captain_America:_ 'appropriate gifts: watches, gift cards, cash. NOT appropriate gifts: weapons, women, alcoholic beverages.'

 **Violent_Vixen:** 'oops brb gotta cancel the hookers'

 **MERC_WITH_A_MOUTH** : 'BuT WE AlREAdY pUT DoWn THE DePOsiT'

Hawkeye: 'lol'

 **MERC_WITH_A_MOUTH** : 'Its nOT REfUNDaBLe!"

 _Captain_America_ : 'How do you keep getting in this group?!'

 **Violent_Vixen:** 'eyyy sarge, wanna go halfsies on a gift?'

 _Iron_ _ _Man_ : 'Please take this seriously. He's only graduating high school once.'

 **MERC_WITH_A_MOUTH** : 'so proud of my baby boy'

 **Violent_Vixen:** "*wipes tears* he just grew up so fast'

* * *

-Eight Hours Later-

* * *

 _Captain_America_ : 'KITTY AND DEADPOOL'

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'No Kitty in casa.'

 **MERC_WITH_A_MOUTH** : '⊙﹏⊙'

 **MERC_WITH_A_MOUTH** : '(ΘεΘ;)'

 _Captain_ _ _America_ : 'WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?'

Black_Widow: 'It means that they're both ignoring you.'

 _Captain_ _ _America_ : 'I SAW THOSE TOWELS YOU GOT PETER'

 _Captain_ _ _America_ : 'THAT IS VERY INAPPROPRIATE'

 _Captain_ _ _America_ : 'THE LADY IS NAKED WHEN THE TOWEL GETS WET'

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'Most ladies are naked when wet'

- _Captain_America_ has removed **Violent** _ **Vixen** from the group-

-Black_Widow has added **Violent** _ **Vixen** to the group-

Hawkeye: haha lol

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : 'And the bitch is back!'

- _Captain_ _ _America_ has removed **Violent** _ **Vixen** from the group-

-Hawkeye has added **Violent** _ **Vixen** to the group-

 **Violent** _ **Vixen** : "And there's HELL to PAY!"


	25. Chronicles of Mercenaries: Pitch Black

**The Chronicles of Mercenaries, Pitch Black**

"Tony?" Kitty walked into the living room where all of the Avengers were relaxing. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Tony and Clint stopped their conversation to look up at Kitty. "Yeah, of course."

Kitty led him up to her room to talk and Tony was surprised to see the entire floor gutted out of all of her belongings. "Where's all your stuff?"

"It's in a storage locker." She paused, her eyes cast down at the floor. "Tony, I'm gonna go."

"What do you mean you're going to go?" Tony's eyebrows knit together and he shook his head. "Kitty-"

"I think we both know I need to do this. You guys need Bruce Banner more than you need me and if me leaving is what brings him back," Kitty sighed and picked up her backpack. She slung it over her shoulder. "Then it's worth it."

"Kit, you leaving won't bring him back." Tony said gently.

"Tony, I love you. All of you guys." Kitty hugged him. "But my flights in an hour."


	26. Stay Tuned!

( _Narrator: "Thank you for reading Book 1 in the Perks of Being a Mercenary series! Stay tuned for Book 2, The Perks of Being An Arsonist!)_


End file.
